Author Relentless1 Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 Do you work or stay at home? I work part time Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Why? WHY do you want your nieces UNCLE, MARRIED UNCLE, to want you sexually? STOP!! You could cause so much pain. The sort of pain that could stick with that family forever. Do you not see this? What was your family life like growing-up? Do you have a sister? Would you have sex with her husband? Do you have a step father? Would you have sex with him? Why don't you get this? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 Why? WHY do you want your nieces UNCLE, MARRIED UNCLE, to want you sexually? STOP!! You could cause so much pain. The sort of pain that could stick with that family forever. Do you not see this? What was your family life like growing-up? Do you have a sister? Would you have sex with her husband? Do you have a step father? Would you have sex with him? Why don't you get this? Why don't you get that I'm not actually planning on having an affair or trying to seduce him or anything? I just want to know what the staring etc is all about. Family life was fine. I'm an only child. No I wouldn't it's nothing to do with the fact he's my bfs brother. Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Relentless, You keep asking what his feelings are, what he is thinking. As if they matter. They don't. It doesn't matter that he is so hot for you he can't see straight. The reason it does not matter and YOU need to stop worrying about it, is because it gives you an excuse to behave badly. And that is what I read in your comments. You like the thought he is lusting after you. You like knowing he wants you. Its a rush. And that rush is going to ruin your life. It will damage your child. He wants you, so what. Is hearing he wants you going to change your behavior? Is it going to make you avoid him or get closer? And, here is another way of looking at it. The guy tried to break you two up. Maybe he is teasing you to lure you in so you screw up so he can take the evidence to your BF that you are not worthy and should be thrown away. He doesn't like you talking to other men, maybe that is because he doesn't like his brother's GF chatting with other men. You are spending so much time worrying about this guy and getting wet over him that you are losing your mind. And you may end up losing your family over it too. What is more valuable to you, your child and your self respect or a toss in the hay with him? Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 You want to know what the staring is about? Then next time he does it say "your staring, is there a problem?" Trust me it will stop. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Why don't you get that I'm not actually planning on having an affair or trying to seduce him or anything? I just want to know what the staring etc is all about. Family life was fine. I'm an only child. No I wouldn't it's nothing to do with the fact he's my bfs brother. Because if you weren't planning on acting on it, you wouldn't care so much why he stares at you. Nor would you say things like 'I would only act on it if I knew we wouldn't be caught', which you said earlier. So either you're posting here because you're looking for tips on how to have an affair, or you're posting here to get your ego stroked by having other posters tell you that he's attracted to you. Truth is, none of us knows if he's attracted to you or not. We're not there, we don't see him around you..we don't know if he's actually staring at you or if it's all in your head. Nobody here can answer the question about whether or not he's attracted to you. What we can do is try as hard as we can to convince you NOT to make the stupid, disgusting, life-ruining mistake of ACTING on any of YOUR feelings of attraction. Because if you do, you'll either end up caught up in an affair and you'll ruin your family, or you'll make a complete fool of yourself and get rejected, and you'll still ruin your family. The absolute ONLY way to avoid a disaster is to ignore the staring and move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Why don't you get that I'm not actually planning on having an affair or trying to seduce him or anything? I just want to know what the staring etc is all about. Family life was fine. I'm an only child. No I wouldn't it's nothing to do with the fact he's my bfs brother. Because if you really weren't interested in starting something with him then you wouldn't give a damn about if he's interested or not. You already said you're not adverse to having an affair with him and even said you would like it if were just a one time thing. In other words you already told us in plain English that you want to screw him so too late to back peddle now. If you love anyone but yourself you will stop this nonsense now. You have too much free time on your hands. Get a full time job. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Why don't you get that I'm not actually planning on having an affair or trying to seduce him or anything? I just want to know what the staring etc is all about. Family life was fine. I'm an only child. No I wouldn't it's nothing to do with the fact he's my bfs brother. What is the reason? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 I'm no expert I don't know a specific reason. I don't know why because I wasn't attracted to him before but I just know I am now. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 And why does he get an attitude with me when he sees me talking or laughing with other men? If it was an inappropriate crush on my behalf, surely he wouldn't care? Because he probably thinks your flirting and it's disrespecting his brother. Because he doesn't want his brother to get hurt by you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 Because he probably thinks your flirting and it's disrespecting his brother. Because he doesn't want his brother to get hurt by you. Ha I haven't flirted with him at all. I'm not a flirty person in the slightest. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Ha I haven't flirted with him at all. I'm not a flirty person in the slightest. I meant he probably thinks your flirting with the other men you talk to , not with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) I probably wasn't clear enough in my first post, I was like cripplingly shy with everyone who I wasn't close to, and I am more outgoing now I'm older but I'm still a lot more quiet and reserved than the other people this family are used to. I don't flirt and I fail to see how it could look like I am. The other women are alot more flirty and say suggestive things to people whereas i do not. From alot of responses on here I can tell people have got the entirely wrong impression of how I carry myself. I'm just being honest about what's going through my head which is all confusing for me and is obviously not something I can discuss with anyone I know. Edited October 29, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I think we've gotten the impression you've given us about you. Fact: you find your BIL sexually attractive Fact: you wouldn't be adverse to an affair with him Fact: you would be okay for a one time thing with him Anything else regarding how shy you were or how he thought you were too young for his brother is irrelevant. What is relevant is: You have a daughter You're in what's supposed to be a committed relationship Your BIL is married Stop looking for confirming that he likes you more than a BIL should. Start looking to sort out the problems in your relationship with your BF. You insist we can't help who we like ..... but we can instill appropriate boundaries and view some people as off limits. You say you've grown up, but from all this you have much more growing up and maturity to come. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Relentless how old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I'm no expert I don't know a specific reason. I don't know why because I wasn't attracted to him before but I just know I am now. If you don't know the reason how would anyone here have a clue if your BIL is attracted to you? If your hands are shaking when you are around him he might be staring because he's wondering if you have some sort of illness. Why now are you all of a sudden attracted to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 If you don't know the reason how would anyone here have a clue if your BIL is attracted to you? If your hands are shaking when you are around him he might be staring because he's wondering if you have some sort of illness. Why now are you all of a sudden attracted to him? I didnt think anyone would know i just wanted opinions and peoples thoughts (not thoughts on how wrong it is, i already know!) I doubt it he has been staring at me for years even when my hands didn't shake around him and he doesn't stare at my hands it's at my eyes which has also been noticed by my bf before. Like I said before I don't know where it's come from or why him, it's just happened. I am in my 20s, what's next telling me to grow up some more? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Why haven't you told your bf (in all these years) that his brother keeps staring at you and it makes you feel uncomfortable? He could have nipped this in the bud with his brother. Also why do you continue to go around your BIL if you have these feelings? You should stay away. No, if you are in your 20's you certainly should know better. You are already a full grown woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 Why haven't you told your bf (in all these years) that his brother keeps staring at you and it makes you feel uncomfortable? He could have nipped this in the bud with his brother. Also why do you continue to go around your BIL if you have these feelings? You should stay away. No, if you are in your 20's you certainly should know better. You are already a full grown woman. I feel my bf is also intimidated by him and wouldn't want to cause any problems by saying something to him about it. I don't go hanging around him I just see him fairly often because of family gatherings and stuff and I don't make any effort to go near him, I can't help he's staring at me from across the room! In all honesty I am flattered/would be flattered if he does like me, yeah it's selfish and an ego thing but so what? I have said I wouldn't be adverse to a one time thing but I haven't done anything wrong as of yet and I probably never would but I can't help what is in my head and I'm just trying to be truthful in the fact that I do think about what it would be like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 I do actually have self control. I'm not planning on jumping on him. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 You keep saying you know it's wrong ... yet if he actually made a move you'd go for it. Yes, you do need to grow up and realise this isn't child's play. Real people, real lives and real consequences. This childish nonsense of does he like me is on par with a high school teenager. Stop wondering and ask him then you'll have your answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I do actually have self control. I'm not planning on jumping on him. So if he tries to have sex with you, you'll calmly and maturely say no? Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I feel my bf is also intimidated by him and wouldn't want to cause any problems by saying something to him about it. I don't go hanging around him I just see him fairly often because of family gatherings and stuff and I don't make any effort to go near him, I can't help he's staring at me from across the room! In all honesty I am flattered/would be flattered if he does like me, yeah it's selfish and an ego thing but so what? I have said I wouldn't be adverse to a one time thing but I haven't done anything wrong as of yet and I probably never would but I can't help what is in my head and I'm just trying to be truthful in the fact that I do think about what it would be like. Actually, Relentless, you can. We can choose our thoughts. When you start to have thoughts about your BIL you can CHOOSE whether to pursue that line of thinking or let it go and move on to something else. You can, in fact, help what is in your head. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Ask your BF if he's noticed anything strange, or if he thinks his brother is hitting on / attracted to you. That ought to nip this silliness in the bud. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Relentless1 Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 I need some advice regarding my husbands brother. We haven't always got on so well because tbh I found him a bit intimidating. He's 12 years older than me and he used to behave a bit strange with me for example: He always accused me of flirting with one of his other brothers even though I never have, we were just talking Once we were having a conversation and after I finished my part he just stood there staring at me in the eyes silent. I said it again and still nothing. I said what? Nope nothing. I found this rather awkward so I walked off. And there were several times I could feel him staring at me so I'd glance over and lo and behold he was. This led me to think he really didn't like me at all so I just kept my distance but nowadays we talk more and get on fine but I'm starting to wonder if he likes me more than he should do. I still catch him looking at me sometimes but he always looks away before our eyes meet. However one time I caught him and our eyes met and he turned away with a smile on his face. He says my name a lot which he doesn't do with others. He always looks happy to see me. He always looks subdued when I speak to his brother he used to accuse me of flirting with. Everytime he passes me something he lingers his fingers on mine (I mean everytime) He never ever used to sit next to me but always where he could see me but has started to sit next to me now. When he sat next to me he had his knee resting against mine and then put his arm on my leg as he reached over to get something off the table. His wife hates me and she has even said she's paranoid about me (she is about every woman though) When we were walking he came up really close to me and we were walking with our arms bumping into each other for about a minute. If I initiate conversation unexpectedly sometimes he gets really quiet and gives very short answers almost like he's nervous even though he's quite a sociable person. If I walk past him he always keeps his eyes on me. I am really confused I don't know if he has a crush on me, wants to get me in bed or if he just hates me or what? Lol Any advice appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
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