excepto Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I don't want any advises like "You should not get into an affair", I know and this is I'm trying to avoid. The thing is I'm developing my feelings for him. He's 42, 9 years older than me, he's been divorced for 5 years, with an grown up daughter (on her own). We knew each other about 1 year ago. Not knowing him much more than his divorce and job. Now he's trying to start an affair with me, by sending a lot of messages during the day, no matter if I reply or not. His flirty messages have been going on for about 2 weeks. Where I'm start getting weak. and almost met him. I mean we met each other many many times, for some reasons, we need to see each other. (Not coworkers though). Anyway, I don't feel comfortable to meet him this time. I want to know what a divorced man think about women or affairs ? What does he want from me? He knows that I'm married. I have told him I don't want a affair it's too risky, I have everything to lose, but he just keeps saying things like "You are kind, polite, nice, smart, attractive, beautiful, how can I resist ?" And honestly, this are the words that making me feel good, which I've been missing from my husband. Link to post Share on other sites
OneLov Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Remember Mrs. Reagan? Just say NO! Honestly, we could speculate all day about his thoughts/motives but does it really matter what he's thinking? You stated that you believe it's inappropriate, so whatever he's thinking, it's not something that needs to be investigated further. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IfonlyIknew Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 OK I'm not a divorced man but would like to see what they say. My 2 cents.. He's trying to take what he can get. He is not considering what you have to lose. Of course its tempting when you hear all of those nice words, but that's all they are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author excepto Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 OK I'm not a divorced man but would like to see what they say. My 2 cents.. He's trying to take what he can get. He is not considering what you have to lose. Of course its tempting when you hear all of those nice words, but that's all they are. So you are male right ? I think your thoughts must be his as well. Would my no replying stop him texting me eventually ? What would make a man to stop chasing a woman ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author excepto Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 Remember Mrs. Reagan? Just say NO! Honestly, we could speculate all day about his thoughts/motives but does it really matter what he's thinking? You stated that you believe it's inappropriate, so whatever he's thinking, it's not something that needs to be investigated further. Ok, thanks a lot, I will take your advise seriously. ) Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 What does he want from me? He wants the cookie. Tell him to ask your husband. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Do you work for the same company? Do you want him to stop this behavior? Tell him that you'll report him to HR for sexual harassment if he doesn't stop non-work related messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 No commitment sex. That's what he's looking for. Tell him to stop with the messages and that you'll be sharing any further messages from him with your husband. That will be a very fast testicle retractor. Ha! Link to post Share on other sites
Hummingbird17 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Tell your husband he won't leave you alone and let him take care of it. It will also help hold you accountable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I don't want any advises like "You should not get into an affair", I know and this is I'm trying to avoid. The thing is I'm developing my feelings for him. He's 42, 9 years older than me, he's been divorced for 5 years, with an grown up daughter (on her own). We knew each other about 1 year ago. Not knowing him much more than his divorce and job. Now he's trying to start an affair with me, by sending a lot of messages during the day, no matter if I reply or not. His flirty messages have been going on for about 2 weeks. Where I'm start getting weak. and almost met him. I mean we met each other many many times, for some reasons, we need to see each other. (Not coworkers though). Anyway, I don't feel comfortable to meet him this time. I want to know what a divorced man think about women or affairs ? What does he want from me? He knows that I'm married. I have told him I don't want a affair it's too risky, I have everything to lose, but he just keeps saying things like "You are kind, polite, nice, smart, attractive, beautiful, how can I resist ?" And honestly, this are the words that making me feel good, which I've been missing from my husband. Why not TELL your husband this? Instead of putting effort into another man, focus on your husband!! Talk to him, work with him to fix your marriage and be happier together. You are playing with fire and as you say, have a lot to lose. Is lusting after another man whispering sweet nothings into your ear really worth losing everything? Please, don't fall for his lines - He wants to have sex that's it. Link to post Share on other sites
IfonlyIknew Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 So you are male right ? I think your thoughts must be his as well. Would my no replying stop him texting me eventually ? What would make a man to stop chasing a woman ? I'm not actually. I'm a 31/F. I'm just trying to look at it from his end. I think he will eventually give up as long as you stand your ground. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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