heartbroke7 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 so basically my GF of almost 3 years was messaging this guy who also had a GF, they do the same course at uni, im 20, shes 19! but they meet up at library to study and were friends but i never really seen him as a threat! I'll admit i dropped the ball recently with not giving her attention, but i found out recently they were texting last week saying they were developing feelings, he picked her up one night to talk about it, and she says he went in for a kiss and they kissed for 2 seconds but then she freaked out and regretted what she had done! i confronted her about it and she just cried constantly apologizing, saying she didnt mean it, how it was the biggest mistake of her life, but im just struggling to know what to do, like i read the messages and for about 5 days they were saying some heavy stuff! I'm trying to talk to her about it, but she hates talking about it and breaks down almost everytime i mention the texts! I really do love the girl and i know she loves me, like no one would have seen it coming, like over the 3 years shes been the most loyal person to me! i want to forget about it and be with her, but my trust and respect have been shattered! is this unforgiveable or does she deserve another go?? Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 What makes you believe that it just a kiss. That is what cheaters always say. Chances are she slept with him, but it does not really matter. She is a cheater. If you, at your young age, want to date a cheater, then go ahead. It will happen again. This is not a precedent that you want to set for your life, so don't tolerate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartbroke7 Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 I have no proof it was no more, but i do believe her on that point! but you are right, it shouldnt be tolerated, thanks for youre response Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I agree with Blues. Just because you don't give her constant attention and acknowledgement 24/7, doesn't give her the incentive to go round, exploring other people and potentially involving themselves more intimately with another person who isn't you. Younger people in general have a tendency to be naive and do ridiculously stupid things; they don't really seem to understand that their actions can cause alot of unnecessary commotion and have multiple consequences. They don't really care. Could be one of two things. She's understood what she's done wrong and is feeling incredibly guilty about it, or, she's done alot more than what she's said she's done and is struggling to handle it. Therefore, resulting in pleading. If there's anything my past, dysfunctional relationship had taught me, it's that when that occurs, they've definitely done something wrong. They haven't been 100% honest and come clean and are trying to make themselves innocent and in a way, manipulate you into thinking it's something more minor than what it probably is. I wouldn't put up with it really. It'll only mess with your mind, and it may just happen all over again. Think for a minute about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartbroke7 Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 I think you're right, like i believe i could forgive a kiss, but its the thought that there might be much more to it, would it be sensible to give her the chance to prove that it was just a kiss and nothing else? Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 The question is how can you believe her??? If she lied once, which is likely, she will lie again. Why would you want to put up with the chance that she is lying at your age. I mean she already cheated, and ok she may not have screwed the whole football team, but more than likely she screwed him. And how will you know if she is telling the truth. Dude you are young and women are everywhere, literally every where you look in collage. Why would you put up with a woman that did this at all, whether she slept with him or not. You don't want the other girls to think you are an easy mark at any age, but especially at 20. You have to set the tone that you are a strong man and if a woman wants to be with you, no cheating. You will get far more respect that way. And you should tell all your friends what she did and what you suspect so that the word gets around after you dump her. Just saying... Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 The question is how can you believe her??? If she lied once, which is likely, she will lie again. Why would you want to put up with the chance that she is lying at your age. I mean she already cheated, and ok she may not have screwed the whole football team, but more than likely she screwed him. And how will you know if she is telling the truth. Dude you are young and women are everywhere, literally every where you look in collage. Why would you put up with a woman that did this at all, whether she slept with him or not. You don't want the other girls to think you are an easy mark at any age, but especially at 20. You have to set the tone that you are a strong man and if a woman wants to be with you, no cheating. You will get far more respect that way. And you should tell all your friends what she did and what you suspect so that the word gets around after you dump her. Just saying... Absolutely. Dating is auditioning for wife, she didn't do so well. So many other options for you out there. It would be wise to move on and date around. No need to make a relationship work at your age. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I have no proof it was no more, but i do believe her on that point! but you are right, it shouldnt be tolerated, thanks for youre response Yes, she is so in love with you she flirts, tells another dude she is developing feelings for and kisses him. Just wait til you are married with kids and she takes it from another guy. Cut bait while you can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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