red.velvet Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Need some insight here.. I recently met a guy in a new city I moved to, and we quickly became good friends. For the last 4 months we have talked everyday, spent most of our weekends together with some of his other friends. He is a very good friend. He recently, about a month ago, started asking me if I was interested in more than friendship. He said I was acting like I liked him. I told him no, that I wasn't interested in more, and that we were just friends. He has a girlfriend, they're in a long distance relationship. Knowing that, I really wasn't interested in being anything more than friends. About a 2 weeks ago we met up as usual with common friends, and at some point, while under the influence of alcohol, he start trying to feel me up, holding me and all. Then he tried to kiss me. Of course I pulled away. After this however, the guy is acting extremely awkward. We had a chat the next day, he was telling me that he never meant anything he did, that it was because he was drunk. I told him it really didn't matter to me, because nothing happened. I told him it wasn't that serious. Anyway, after this chat, I haven't heard from him. It's been two weeks. I text him once a week ago, no answer. He was my friend, I guess my question is, should I try reach out again or let him be? I miss my friend. Would want to know what's going on. Thanks for the help. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 He was a guy that was hanging about with you in the hope that the friendship would develop into something more, ie you would eventually have sex with him or the friendship would turn into a relationship. He has no interest in being "just" friends with you, many men don't actually. Now he knows for certain you have no interest in him in that way, he doesn't want to hang out with you "in the friend-zone". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 If you've only tried him once, I'd try again, sure. Be direct and ask him what's wrong. If he doesn't want to talk, so be it - nothing you can do about that. I sympathize but there's a lot worse things in life than friend-dumping. Link to post Share on other sites
Area57 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I would try again and put the last line of your post in there. How you miss your friend. But. I agree with the above that he probably did want more and his inhibitions were down when drunk and it might not be the same. But maybe he is just embarrassed. Link to post Share on other sites
dojob1234 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Need some insight here.. I recently met a guy in a new city I moved to, and we quickly became good friends. For the last 4 months we have talked everyday, spent most of our weekends together with some of his other friends. He is a very good friend. He recently, about a month ago, started asking me if I was interested in more than friendship. He said I was acting like I liked him. I told him no, that I wasn't interested in more, and that we were just friends. He has a girlfriend, they're in a long distance relationship. Knowing that, I really wasn't interested in being anything more than friends. About a 2 weeks ago we met up as usual with common friends, and at some point, while under the influence of alcohol, he start trying to feel me up, holding me and all. Then he tried to kiss me. Of course I pulled away. After this however, the guy is acting extremely awkward. We had a chat the next day, he was telling me that he never meant anything he did, that it was because he was drunk. I told him it really didn't matter to me, because nothing happened. I told him it wasn't that serious. Anyway, after this chat, I haven't heard from him. It's been two weeks. I text him once a week ago, no answer. He was my friend, I guess my question is, should I try reach out again or let him be? I miss my friend. Would want to know what's going on. Thanks for the help. To answer your question, my pov is... Don't contact him anymore. He seems to be those kind that want to get some hook up... And when can't, move on to another. If he value the friendship, he will not have acted this way... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Most guys are not interested in "just being friends." Yes, there are exceptions, but not if they're trying to feel you up. He doesn't want to just be friends. He wants to mess around on his long-distance girlfriend. Stop contacting him. He wasn't a real friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author red.velvet Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 He actually called me.. he said we needed to talk. He came over to my house, I was looking forward to a chat to mend our friendship... but then instead of a chat, immediately he came in, he got really touchy-feely... he tried to sleep with me. I'm disappointed. Link to post Share on other sites
Alamo657 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) He was a guy that was hanging about with you in the hope that the friendship would develop into something more, ie you would eventually have sex with him or the friendship would turn into a relationship. He has no interest in being "just" friends with you, many men don't actually. Now he knows for certain you have no interest in him in that way, he doesn't want to hang out with you "in the friend-zone". Read this again, male-female friendships only exist in women's minds. Men want to bang women, it's called reproduction. The only things stopping them from doing it whenever they want with whoever they desire are social constraints and witnesses. Edited October 30, 2016 by Alamo657 Link to post Share on other sites
Author red.velvet Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Read this again, male-female friendships only exist in women's minds. Men want to bang women, it's called reproduction. The only things stopping them from doing it whenever they want with whoever they desire are social constraints and witnesses. I have guy friends who are not trying to sleep with me. I think this one is just disgusting and ill mannered! Why is he even trying to cheat on his girlfriend? Disgusting! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alamo657 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I have guy friends who are not trying to sleep with me. Which doesn't mean they don't want to... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 He actually called me.. he said we needed to talk. He came over to my house, I was looking forward to a chat to mend our friendship... but then instead of a chat, immediately he came in, he got really touchy-feely... he tried to sleep with me. I'm disappointed. Not surprising. See, in his mind, once he let you know he wasn't wanting to just be a friend and then you're still talking to him, he's thinking you're ready to do it his way now. It's all he wants. He's not even trying to preserve any friendship. Block him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JZ.75 Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 (edited) I think you should wait for a while because either he is one of those guys who just wanted to hook up or maybe the guy is really infatuated with you. Now, if you contact him, you'll only encourage his feelings more, whatever they maybe. So I'd say you shouldn't contact him for a while and time will tell what were his intentions. If he really just wanted to hookup with you then he wouldn't contact you because he knows that he lost the chance. If he was a true friend who got infatuated to you, then he'll move on during this time. So don't contact him for a while and make some new friends and good luck to you! Edited November 11, 2016 by JZ.75 Link to post Share on other sites
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