Flappy1976 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 My husband and I have been married for 10 years we started growing apart about 3 years ago. I tried to talk to him so we could make it work. But as time went on I got lonely to be touched. I met a guy closer to my age he was single and we started hanging out and we fell in love. Not to long ago he decided it was time to go back to his ex wife and try to make it work he wanted out of his roommates place and she needed a place to live so they got together so they both had a place to live. My husband and I are trying to make it work again it's been a long month. But I am still in love with the boyfriend he lives in another town so I went and seen him today at his job. When I showed up today he was wearing one of my shirts. He told me he still thinks about me he wears my shirt a lot he still has feelings for me he cares for me and he still loves me but he wants to make it work with the ex wife. I want to make it work with my husband. He told me next time don't just show up like I did next time come to the apartment so the ex wife will be there. Well he has never told me where his apartment is so I could go down there but I wanted to see him it's been a month and to help my husband and I needed to see if there was anything left. He sent some mixed signals to me. He is going to be honest and tell her he thinking about me a lot wears my shirt a lot still has feelings for me cares about me. When I got ready to leave he hugged me and held on a little longer then friends really should of and as I got ready to walk away he just held my hand until he couldn't anymore as I walked away. So now I am more confused as always. We are in a middle of adoption of my grandson and he knows by being in my life right now would mess that up and he knows how much I love my grandson. So now what do I do. I love my husband but I love him more. I wonder can my husband and I get back to where we were. Is he just with the ex cause he can't have me. The other day he called and told me that he wanted to have me again but he knows that will never happened today he was telling me we should of never been talking like that. I am so dang confused on what he wants. And don't want. Link to post Share on other sites
HeCantBreakMe Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 My husband and I have been married for 10 years we started growing apart about 3 years ago. I tried to talk to him so we could make it work. But as time went on I got lonely to be touched. I met a guy closer to my age he was single and we started hanging out and we fell in love. Not to long ago he decided it was time to go back to his ex wife and try to make it work he wanted out of his roommates place and she needed a place to live so they got together so they both had a place to live. My husband and I are trying to make it work again it's been a long month. But I am still in love with the boyfriend he lives in another town so I went and seen him today at his job. When I showed up today he was wearing one of my shirts. He told me he still thinks about me he wears my shirt a lot he still has feelings for me he cares for me and he still loves me but he wants to make it work with the ex wife. I want to make it work with my husband. He told me next time don't just show up like I did next time come to the apartment so the ex wife will be there. Well he has never told me where his apartment is so I could go down there but I wanted to see him it's been a month and to help my husband and I needed to see if there was anything left. He sent some mixed signals to me. He is going to be honest and tell her he thinking about me a lot wears my shirt a lot still has feelings for me cares about me. When I got ready to leave he hugged me and held on a little longer then friends really should of and as I got ready to walk away he just held my hand until he couldn't anymore as I walked away. So now I am more confused as always. We are in a middle of adoption of my grandson and he knows by being in my life right now would mess that up and he knows how much I love my grandson. So now what do I do. I love my husband but I love him more. I wonder can my husband and I get back to where we were. Is he just with the ex cause he can't have me. The other day he called and told me that he wanted to have me again but he knows that will never happened today he was telling me we should of never been talking like that. I am so dang confused on what he wants. And don't want. I am actually confused on what it is you want or don't want? He isn't forcing his way into your life you are letting him in. What do you really want to happen in this case? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 How does going to see your affair partner help your marriage. You say you still love him but you went to see him to gauge what was there? Come on, that's not honest. You went to see him to re-engage in the affair. Only way out is through honesty. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flappy1976 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 I am actually confused on what it is you want or don't want? He isn't forcing his way into your life you are letting him in. What do you really want to happen in this case? I am confused on what I want and don't want. When we broke up last month I was ready to walk away from marriage and be with him. Im just trying to figure out now if my husband is right and he will be back on my door step in a few weeks when she decides to leave him trying to get me back it's been a bad a month with my husband and yes I deserve it one bit. Link to post Share on other sites
malvern99 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 We are in a middle of adoption of my grandson and he knows by being in my life right now would mess that up and he knows how much I love my grandson. So now what do I do. I love my husband but I love him more. I wonder can my husband and I get back to where we were. Is he just with the ex cause he can't have me. The other day he called and told me that he wanted to have me again but he knows that will never happened today he was telling me we should of never been talking like that. I am so dang confused on what he wants. And don't want. Why would you bring an innocent child into this situation where a bomb is getting ready to explode? What you should do depends on what outcome your seek. If you want to live an authentic life, you will do as follows. You will sit your husband down and tell him exactly what you have been doing. Then if you want to work on your marriage, and if your betrayed husband is on board, you can do so with a clean conscience. If you want to continue living a life of deceit, then carry on with what you are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flappy1976 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 How does going to see your affair partner help your marriage. You say you still love him but you went to see him to gauge what was there? Come on, that's not honest. You went to see him to re-engage in the affair. Only way out is through honesty. Wasn't like that at all. I asked him to send me a text telling me that he was happy with his ex and that he didn't want me and he sends me this long text telling me how much loves me and has feeling for me totally opposite of what I wanted. I want to be with my husband and he wanted to go down with me so he could see for himself that nothing is still there but I don't think we would of had a fair judgement on feelings. Today was to see what I really felt because we need to move on I am not going to see him again. Right now we can't talk on the phone and that works for me. If I go long enough he will call or text me because we can still be friends. She is ok with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flappy1976 Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 My husband is aware of everything right now he even knows I went and seen him today. I was honest with him about that. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 My husband is aware of everything right now he even knows I went and seen him today. I was honest with him about that. You're not honest. If you wanted to bring him along to prove there is nothing between you and this other guy, when you admit you still love him. So somehow your husband thinks there is nothing there...is it because you've lead him to believe that or attempting to? Link to post Share on other sites
HeCantBreakMe Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I am confused on what I want and don't want. When we broke up last month I was ready to walk away from marriage and be with him. Im just trying to figure out now if my husband is right and he will be back on my door step in a few weeks when she decides to leave him trying to get me back it's been a bad a month with my husband and yes I deserve it one bit. It almost sounds like you just wish someone could make the decision for you. This isn't always wise and at some point you need to make a decision and own it. I wouldn't wait until the decision is made for you. Link to post Share on other sites
malvern99 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 My husband is aware of everything right now he even knows I went and seen him today. I was honest with him about that. How is your betrayed husband responding to the fact that his "wife" is wrapped up chasing another man? Link to post Share on other sites
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