Wulf Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) So my girlfriend of almost two years just moved in with me two weeks ago. We usually have sex every time we hangout (4-6 times a week) but the past 5 days she's been coming home from work and "too tired". 2 days ago she went to a party with her best friend... apparently it was her best friend's family friends' that threw it. She was supposed to be home early around 11 that night but didn't get home til 3:30. And her phone wasn't working for like 4 hours so I didn't get ahold of her til 3. I last spoke to her st 11. When she came home she was tipsy and whenever we tried to have sex she was in pain. Apparently it was hurting her so we stopped. I noticed red marks on her butt but she said that she scratched it because she was itching. I also noticed a small oval bruise that could resemble a thumb on her inner thigh but she usually does bruise there. She says she doesn't know and it could be from a desk or something. To me the red marks look look it could be 5 fingers. One of my friends agreed as another said I'm overreacting. Edited October 28, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed photos ~T 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Yes she is cheating. Sorry buddy. You kind if answered you question in the post. Of course she is cheating. Check her phone out and dump her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) OP look don't just sit there and and do nothing. Do something about this situation. Stand up for yourself and be right be a man. Tell her she needs to move out. Tell her you know what's been going on and that now she needs to be with who she really wants to be with. Telling her you're not willing to share her... so she needs to go be with Her OM, TELL her you know that he's been cheating and lying to you OP. And you were not tolerate being treated like that by someone that supposed to love me. So now that you don't love me and you love somebody else, you need to go be with them. Tell her you wish her the best. May her new relationship last forever and that she be forever happy with her new OM. Edited October 28, 2016 by Sparta 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wulf Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 Yes she is cheating. Sorry buddy. You kind if answered you question in the post. Of course she is cheating. Check her phone out and dump her. She doesn't let me see her phone and when I do everything is deleted. She says she just doesn't like messages and her call log being full and just clears them. Can you tell me about the marks on the picture? Could that possibly be her scratching her butt or does it look like grab marks? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I'll post from the other side here. My XH used to accuse me of all sorts of crap like that and I was always faithful to him. His reason to suspect me of cheating was more his own insecurities than about me. It got bad enough it caused me to file for divorce. So based just on that it doesn't mean she did anything. The phone thing is the part I might find a little strange but I never even looked at any of my exes phones unless I was using it for something specific and they handed it to me. On the other hand, I've found men are really good and intuition sometimes. I wouldn't jump to conclusions. I'll assume you dated her for a long time and there were no other red flags. If so I'll assume paranoia and YOU may be the one ruining this. If she's given you other reasons to be suspicious it could be your gut telling you something is wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 You need solid proof. You are not a forensics specialist, so all you are really doing is just assuming. Me being a woman I know it doesn't take much to bruise or mark our skin. Hell I come home with crazy bruises that I can't never remember how I got them. She was drinking/partying, probably dancing, so more than likely she bumped into somethings or someone grabbed her, rough housing, some goofing around etc She was having fun. BUT she disrespected you. When you live together, not coming home til 3:30am, not answering texts, breaking a promise to be home at a certain time, should be a deal breaker. Time for a straight talk about her behavior changes since moving in. Tell her if she doesn't shape up, you are shipping her out. You need to set boundaries/rules. As for the suspicions of infidelity......work on finding proof. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 She doesn't let me see her phone and when I do everything is deleted. She says she just doesn't like messages and her call log being full and just clears them. buy a spy app that can be installed via an email you send her. The email can include a picture of you, she is going to want to download on her phone, or a similar method to encourage her to download the attachment. Unknown to her, it will also invisibly install the spyware app on her phone. TBH if you have to go to all these lengths to find out if she is cheating, you may as well just breakup with her. That would be the easiest solution. You only have invested less than two years in this relationship....it's not a 10 year marriage you are trying to save. It's hardly worth the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Look... She is lying about everything. Everything you have seen and all the stuff with her phone is classic cheating behavior. I mean I can spell all of it out for you if you need that. But you really need to get rid of this woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I think the phone and being"tired" are the huge red flags. I am always beating myself up, bumps, bruises, things I can't explain but they AREN'T from sex - and when my ass does get slapped red from some rough sex - It goes away almost immediately - so, that part, I don't know about. Buy deleted all call history and messages? Yeah. People that aren't hiding stuff don't do that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Can you tell me about the marks on the picture? Could that possibly be her scratching her butt or does it look like grab marks? I was able to catch your pictures when you first posted. It didn't look like scratching to me because that would cause longer streaks. Those looked almost like fingernails digging into skin. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 So my girlfriend of almost two years just moved in with me two weeks ago. We usually have sex every time we hangout (4-6 times a week) but the past 5 days she's been coming home from work and "too tired". 2 days ago she went to a party with her best friend... apparently it was her best friend's family friends' that threw it. She was supposed to be home early around 11 that night but didn't get home til 3:30. And her phone wasn't working for like 4 hours so I didn't get ahold of her til 3. I last spoke to her st 11. When she came home she was tipsy and whenever we tried to have sex she was in pain. Apparently it was hurting her so we stopped. I noticed red marks on her butt but she said that she scratched it because she was itching. I also noticed a small oval bruise that could resemble a thumb on her inner thigh but she usually does bruise there. She says she doesn't know and it could be from a desk or something. To me the red marks look look it could be 5 fingers. One of my friends agreed as another said I'm overreacting. Uh dude, Their is a term for the blemish. It's called a Porn Bruise. You see similar bruises on Women in Porn on their inner thighs, usually it is a result of rather rough sex. I am afraid your GF likes it rough and with someone else other than you. The phone thing with deleting and being secretive? Yeah dude, it's a no brainer. I'm sorry thee just isn't any 2 ways about it. You have all the proof you need. Life is too short to go into making a Federal Case out of it. Let her get bruised up on somebody else's time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 You have reason to be suspicious, but you don't have anything conclusive. There is no certainty, and I don't understand why some are saying there is. Your options are a) dump her based on suspicions, b) go detective and get proof one way or the other, or c) let it go and be happy unless something jumps out. Deleting texts and history is highly suspicious. Four hours late, coming in at 3:30 am is suspicious. A sudden fall off in her interest in sex is suspicious. I don't think red marks or bruises are suspicious unless you have more info about when and where they originated. If you feel you can't trust her that's reason enough to break up, but most people would want conclusive evidence. If you're going for the evidence don't tip her off that you're suspicious. Google for methods of getting it. Lots of info out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Need more proof bursing isn't enough I can get bruses in all kinds of ways and not notice, your ass hits a corner on a table or your thigh is jabbed by someone purse on the dance floor it's happened before esp on a bar night. I am pale and litterly bruse from anything More proof skin isn't proof **** happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IfonlyIknew Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I'm on the fence. As a woman I bruise very very easily, I've been accused of bruises on my @ss in my past when I don't even know where they've come, although red marks are a little odd. As far as the phone, I don't have enough time to fold socks, I sure as hell don't have enough time to "clear my call log/messages", that itself doesn't need any attending to if she is innocent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Lets skip the bruises part. Lets talk about when she said it "hurt". When did you have sex last with her before this night? Is she on her period? Does she normally hurt to the point where you need to stop when you have sex? To me, it sounds like she was cheating and it was rough. It hurt her to have sex with you, so she wanted to stop. This would explain the bruises, which your gut says is from finger marks. I bruise easily too... I find it hard to get bruises on my inner thigh area unless there was a deliberate reason for them being there. I'm sorry man, but as soon as you said you think they could be bruises and her hurting when you tried to have sex later that night, my gut told me she was cheating too. Add in the deleted messages and calls, phone that didn't have service (its 2016, there is service almost everywhere unless you're in the middle of nowhere), coming home late...you're gut is right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Has she always deleted her texts? I don't know if the briuses are conclusive proof. But you can't have a relationship without trust. You've moved to the next level and her behaviour has changed. Something is going on with her. Link to post Share on other sites
eightytwenty Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 To me, anyone that hides their phone like you're girlfriend would raise red flags, something is being hidden. I refuse to be with someone like this. I bruise easy, and ride horses. I've had bruises all up between my legs, butt, back, legs. Unless it's a hand print or scratches down the back I would make a mental note, but wouldn't react. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I have no clue if she's cheating or not..but I do want to share with you the fact that I was shaving my legs the other day and I slipped in the shower. I ended up with a ginormous cut on my ass. So..odd things do happen... Link to post Share on other sites
Herbalist Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I think you should try telling her your concerns. Like don't make an accusation or bring up the bruise, but instead maybe tell her that the sudden changes in her behavior have you worried as far as staying out late, not being interested in sex anymore and also deleting everything from her phone. Her reaction to your honest vulnerability would probably tell you a lot. Like if you observe her expression and her tone, and whether or not she validates your feelings are dismisses / criticizes them. You say it has only been 5 days since these changes started, so there are still other possibilities. Hell maybe she is doing drugs with a female friend. Could be multiple things that are sketch and that she feels the desire to hide. But if you come tumbling out of nowhere making cheating accusations then you might wind up doubting yourself later or flying off the deep end. So that is why I think instead maybe try to get a feel for if she cares about your feelings and respects you or not and if she is willing to really communicate with you about what has been going on. Can give you more confidence with your decision one way or the other plus also give you experience being assertive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 ahhhh... I remember when my ex bf came home and he had scratches on his back from playing with his "dog". Oh, he was playing with a dog alright...a freakin prostitute. All signs point to cheating unfortunately. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 She doesn't let me see her phone and when I do everything is deleted. She says she just doesn't like messages and her call log being full and just clears them. Can you tell me about the marks on the picture? Could that possibly be her scratching her butt or does it look like grab marks? My bet would be that she got a nice solid crack on the ass while he was doing her doggy. But really, who cares exactly what it is or what happened? You are not married & have no children with this woman. Why in the hell put up with any drama concerning cheating? It's the ultimate deal-breaker for most guys so break the deal and move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kelley Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 It's not conclusive to cheating, I have bruises from my dog jumping up at me, I have slipped over when running etc. I also like to delete old messages and logs on my phone but that's just me! My ex cheated on me and I just knew I had a gut feeling, then checked his phone, all the proof was in the messages and call logs and he came clean! You need to go by her actions not her words to get to the truth! Link to post Share on other sites
Joga_31 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So my girlfriend of almost two years just moved in with me two weeks ago. We usually have sex every time we hangout (4-6 times a week) but the past 5 days she's been coming home from work and "too tired". 2 days ago she went to a party with her best friend... apparently it was her best friend's family friends' that threw it. She was supposed to be home early around 11 that night but didn't get home til 3:30. And her phone wasn't working for like 4 hours so I didn't get ahold of her til 3. I last spoke to her st 11. When she came home she was tipsy and whenever we tried to have sex she was in pain. Apparently it was hurting her so we stopped. I noticed red marks on her butt but she said that she scratched it because she was itching. I also noticed a small oval bruise that could resemble a thumb on her inner thigh but she usually does bruise there. She says she doesn't know and it could be from a desk or something. To me the red marks look look it could be 5 fingers. One of my friends agreed as another said I'm overreacting. she has changed in her behaviour. This is not a good sign if I were you I would check her phone out if possible and any other social media device. Unfortunately this does not sound good and I think that you are being cheated on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 5, 2016 Share Posted November 5, 2016 So OP is it true? Is she cheating or have you swept it under the rug for now? Link to post Share on other sites
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