Why do I still love this woman???

[Lost_in_TN]

I actually got about 5 hours of sleep last night!!!

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I actually got about 5 hours of sleep last night!!!

 

 

That's good news! Soon, you'll be reaching your 7-hour quota and feeling even better.

 

Just don't forget what lessons this has taught you. Respect yourself enough to not completely lose yourself in a woman's (or anyone's) need to keep you on the hook.

 

Know the genuine from the fake, and more importantly, the genuine from the seemingly-genuine.

[Lost_in_TN]

That's good news! Soon, you'll be reaching your 7-hour quota and feeling even better.

 

Just don't forget what lessons this has taught you. Respect yourself enough to not completely lose yourself in a woman's (or anyone's) need to keep you on the hook.

 

Know the genuine from the fake, and more importantly, the genuine from the seemingly-genuine.

 

 

Thanks for the advice, I agree with what you are saying. Right now if I could just go 24 hours without letting my mind pull me into a depressive state I'd be happier. Even though I've got my son this weekend which makes the house seem less empty, and more like a home, as night fell last night the ol' demons in my head went to work. When that happens it is hard for me to enjoy anything, or stay focused on anything. Even something as simple as watching a show on TV seems hard.

 

At times I fell like I am on the right track, and at other times I feel about as lost as a guy can feel. I am having thoughts of "Just how much do I need to talk about this with my friends", and "People will eventually start avoiding me because I am bringing them down with all my problems and sadness". It really sux to feel like that.

[Thackery]

Lost in TN,

 

At times I fell like I am on the right track, and at other times I feel about as lost as a guy can feel. I am having thoughts of "Just how much do I need to talk about this with my friends", and "People will eventually start avoiding me because I am bringing them down with all my problems and sadness". It really sux to feel like that.

 

At least you have the "at times" feelings of being on track! They will definitely get more and more pronounced! I went from having ZERO to a few, and now more yet. Time.. . .

 

Regarding "bringing your friends down"---your REAL friends will always be there for you. They understand that you are hurting and want to help. They also understand that this is temporary and you will be back to "normal" in time. We just need to learn from these experiences so that we don't "need" to confide in them for the same reason again, by making the same mistake in the future. I told my bro and sis in law how much I appreciate their listening and advice. Also told them that I understand that I can sometimes be "Debby Downer". They both assured me that they will always be there for me and will do all that they can for me, as I would do the same for them. . . makes you feel good when you hear things like that. And if all else fails, you can ALWAYS post here!

 

What are you and your son doing this weekend?

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Thanks for the advice, I agree with what you are saying. Right now if I could just go 24 hours without letting my mind pull me into a depressive state I'd be happier. Even though I've got my son this weekend which makes the house seem less empty, and more like a home, as night fell last night the ol' demons in my head went to work. When that happens it is hard for me to enjoy anything, or stay focused on anything. Even something as simple as watching a show on TV seems hard.

 

At times I fell like I am on the right track, and at other times I feel about as lost as a guy can feel. I am having thoughts of "Just how much do I need to talk about this with my friends", and "People will eventually start avoiding me because I am bringing them down with all my problems and sadness". It really sux to feel like that.

 

You'll think of her less and less, as time goes by. It's been her loss, entirely. You're better off with someone who appreciates you for who you are.

 

Try to surround yourself with people. You need a break from the endless cycle of thoughts about her. If you're alone, you'll end up doing exactly that.

 

Try to go out, visit friends, do something which requires you to interact with others. You don't always have to talk about her, with them. Just being around folks and indulging in some conversation, will keep your mind off of this.

[Lost_in_TN]

You'll think of her less and less, as time goes by. It's been her loss, entirely. You're better off with someone who appreciates you for who you are.

 

Try to surround yourself with people. You need a break from the endless cycle of thoughts about her. If you're alone, you'll end up doing exactly that.

 

Try to go out, visit friends, do something which requires you to interact with others. You don't always have to talk about her, with them. Just being around folks and indulging in some conversation, will keep your mind off of this.

 

I am trying SO hard to make this happen. My son and I went and rode the dirt bikes for about 4 and a half hours today. We had a good time, but around 4:00 I started thinking about her a lot. So I checked my cell phone when I got back to my truck, and really I don't know if I wanted to see that she'd called, or was relieved that she didn't. It's a hard call at this point. Being that I had those feelings I thought I better take action, because tomorrow my son will leave at 4:30 to go back to his mom's, and I know with it being father's day it'll be tough just seeing him leave. Then when you add the fact that I will be walking back into this empty house it makes me feel pretty lonely. All those thoughts hit me pretty fast, so I called a couple friends to try and get something arranged that would get me out of the house. No luck, they are both going to be busy.

 

So I'm already getting pretty tensed up about tomorrow. I really hope something breaks for me, or it'll be a tough night tomorrow night.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Do you realize how ignorant you sound when you make blanket generalizations about women like that? I happen to know a lot of men who are just as screwed up. There are tons of them taking up space in prisons, 99 of them to 1 woman in prison. Would you like to explain that to me?

What you say is as bad as making racist statements.

 

Fish Sign,

 

The comment you're quoting was made almost 2 years ago. I think you might want to read the last two pages of this thread, it's more current from there on.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I am trying SO hard to make this happen. My son and I went and rode the dirt bikes for about 4 and a half hours today. We had a good time, but around 4:00 I started thinking about her a lot. So I checked my cell phone when I got back to my truck, and really I don't know if I wanted to see that she'd called, or was relieved that she didn't. It's a hard call at this point. Being that I had those feelings I thought I better take action, because tomorrow my son will leave at 4:30 to go back to his mom's, and I know with it being father's day it'll be tough just seeing him leave. Then when you add the fact that I will be walking back into this empty house it makes me feel pretty lonely. All those thoughts hit me pretty fast, so I called a couple friends to try and get something arranged that would get me out of the house. No luck, they are both going to be busy.

 

So I'm already getting pretty tensed up about tomorrow. I really hope something breaks for me, or it'll be a tough night tomorrow night.

 

 

I know what you mean...it's hard to always find some company, specially when you need it most!

 

Well, LS is always there, for one. But to be honest, being on LS 24/7 won't help you much. Come here when you feel the urge to say something or get opinions, but beyond that, you'll be trying to create a surrogate life on LS and actually start living it, too.

 

I'm not trying to degrade LS in any way, I like this place as much as anyone else. I wouldn't be here otherwise. But, I think it's wiser to try building up your real life first. That's what the best LSers on here, do.

 

Okay, so you ended up being alone for the evening. How about getting a good movie to watch, or something? Cook something nice, watch a movie, and you'd have spent a few hours alone. I know you said you can't concentrate watching TV, so get something that you think will hold your interest for a couple of hours.

 

Tomorrow, you can clean up your house, tend to the garden, go out to a place where you see plenty of people.

 

If you're a sports person, join a club where you can indulge in a tennis game etc. with other people. But eventually, you'll have to get used to these periods of feeling alone. You will be able to do that, give yourself some time.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

Hi Lost!

 

I am going to be blunt with you. I did not read every single post, but after reading the first page, I get the feeling that what you feel for her is not "love" per se, it is and obsession. Read the book by Susan Foward, "Obsessive Love". I think it will help you understand your situation. According to Dr. Foward, you would be a co-obsessor, because you crave and feed into the obsessive person. It is a cycle that won't end by itself. So please read up on the book and really work on YOURSELF.

 

Best wishes.