I think I need to have a conversation with the two of them really like wow??

[Hopefulthinking]

Don't know what's going on with this? So, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend alot, she went away for a week to his house (he lives in another town) and now that she's back he is staying at her house even when I leave...and when I am around neither of them really talk to me, they sing and talk to each other, am I just being paranoid or does this seem wrong to anyone else?

 

Another friend suggested trying these things??

 

 

 

 

 

 

) Put my arm around her and/or hug on her and/or kis in front of him to see how she or he reacts.

 

2.) Pay attention to where she sits and who she sits next to or closer.

 

3.) Notice who she walks side-by-side with.

 

4.) Try injecting myself into one of their conversations and see how they answer me. (Fast or well thought out.)

 

5) Try starting a random subject, and wait to see if and when and how long they take to add to it or not

 

6.) Make a surprise visit to see if they're at the same house??

[Alamo657]

Don't try any of the things on your list, you'll only create awkward moments.

 

The deal is, your GF prefers spending time with this friend rather than with you, which essentially means that your relationship with her is boring; she will leave you at some point, probably when you start acting awkward, paranoid and jealous.

[Raena]

Wait... what? She went and stayed with him at his house for a week out of town? And now he's staying at her house?

 

Sounds to me like she's dating him and not you. How old are you?

[sandylee1]

It's not a good idea to get so attached to someone to the point of not imagining them in your life. That's when you get taken advantage of.

 

It sounds like there are 3 of you in the relationship.

 

.I don't think the list of suggestions you've received is bad, but if you've never done them before it might seem odd.

 

I think getting physically closer to her in his presence is good to gauge their reaction. If she shrugs you off and he looks away and seems uncomfortable. .... that could be a sign there's something going on with them.

 

Number 2,3 and 6 aren't bad suggestions either.

 

If I noticed my GF was always sitting next to my best friend, that she always walked by his side and hardly spoke to me when he was there, that would tell me all I need to know. I'd just end the relationship.

 

Why do you think she's not sleeping with him?

Does he have a GF?

About how long have they been so close?

 

How old are you all?

 

Have you noticed anyother changes from her? Less sex? More distant? Less enthusiastic about seeing you?

 

You could try and get proof. Like get a VAR (voice activated recorder) and when you're with the both of them, leave it recording while you go and retrieve something from your car or pop to the shops and buy some drinks or something. If there's anything going on, you'll soon find out.

 

I think the person to speak to would be your GF. You can't imagine life without her, yet the two of them obviously communicate a lot. ... to be setting up visits and sleepovers.

 

Do you ever look at her phone?

Might be interesting to tell her your battery has died and ask if you can use her phone to make an appointment or an urgent call...... then watch her reaction..... walk away with the phone and see if you are able to see any messages between them.

 

If this is all innocent, then their boundaries aren'tgood enough. If you want her in your life forever .... are her actions and behaviour with him what you'd want in a wife or life partner?

 

I do hope they aren't taking you for an absolute mug here.

[Guildford]

If you have been with your girlfriend for three years, she is the love of your life and you cannot imagine life without her, why haven't you proposed to her earlier? I mean much earlier, I believe that it is too late now. I do not understand these relationships that last for years, but no marriage. The lady begins to wonder just where the relationship is going. I knew my wife for about nine months before I proposed.

[IfonlyIknew]

Ok this literally made my eyebrows and lip scrunch up, WTF??? She went away to his house for a week? Then he stayed by her? I think she forgot to tell you she has left you. Actions have spoken.

[Hopefulthinking]

Wait... what? She went and stayed with him at his house for a week out of town? And now he's staying at her house?

 

Sounds to me like she's dating him and not you. How old are you?

 

 

 

22 22 21.

 

How come? ?

[Hopefulthinking]

It's not a good idea to get so attached to someone to the point of not imagining them in your life. That's when you get taken advantage of.

 

It sounds like there are 3 of you in the relationship.

 

.I don't think the list of suggestions you've received is bad, but if you've never done them before it might seem odd.

 

I think getting physically closer to her in his presence is good to gauge their reaction. If she shrugs you off and he looks away and seems uncomfortable. .... that could be a sign there's something going on with them.

 

Number 2,3 and 6 aren't bad suggestions either.

 

If I noticed my GF was always sitting next to my best friend, that she always walked by his side and hardly spoke to me when he was there, that would tell me all I need to know. I'd just end the relationship.

 

Why do you think she's not sleeping with him?

Does he have a GF?

About how long have they been so close?

 

How old are you all?

 

Have you noticed anyother changes from her? Less sex? More distant? Less enthusiastic about seeing you?

 

You could try and get proof. Like get a VAR (voice activated recorder) and when you're with the both of them, leave it recording while you go and retrieve something from your car or pop to the shops and buy some drinks or something. If there's anything going on, you'll soon find out.

 

I think the person to speak to would be your GF. You can't imagine life without her, yet the two of them obviously communicate a lot. ... to be setting up visits and sleepovers.

 

Do you ever look at her phone?

Might be interesting to tell her your battery has died and ask if you can use her phone to make an appointment or an urgent call...... then watch her reaction..... walk away with the phone and see if you are able to see any messages between them.

 

If this is all innocent, then their boundaries aren'tgood enough. If you want her in your life forever .... are her actions and behaviour with him what you'd want in a wife or life partner?

 

I do hope they aren't taking you for an absolute mug here.

 

 

 

Hes single

I guess it started about a week and a half ago.

We're all in our 20's.

Sex hasn't changed much.

[PegNosePete]

she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her.

Given this is how you feel, would you hang around her best (female) friend, go to stay with her for a week in another town, and stay at her house even when your GF leaves?

 

I very much doubt it.

 

So the only conclusion is that your GF doesn't feel the same about you, as you feel about her.

 

She is totally disrespecting you and so is your mate. Dump them both.

[smackie9]

She may not be having sex with him but she IS having an emotional affair. She's starting to really get into him...and like the other poster said, it's only a matter of time before she dumps you for him.

 

if you really love her you would just man up and have a talk about it with her to get some answers instead of playing games.

[aileD]

Don't know what's going on with this? So, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend alot, she went away for a week to his house (he lives in another town) and now that she's back he is staying at her house even when I leave...and when I am around neither of them really talk to me, they sing and talk to each other, am I just being paranoid or does this seem wrong to anyone else?

 

Another friend suggested trying these things??

 

 

 

 

 

 

) Put my arm around her and/or hug on her and/or kis in front of him to see how she or he reacts.

 

2.) Pay attention to where she sits and who she sits next to or closer.

 

3.) Notice who she walks side-by-side with.

 

4.) Try injecting myself into one of their conversations and see how they answer me. (Fast or well thought out.)

 

5) Try starting a random subject, and wait to see if and when and how long they take to add to it or not

 

6.) Make a surprise visit to see if they're at the same house??

 

7.). Dump her because she's obviously screwing your best friend.

[Space Ritual]

Hes single

I guess it started about a week and a half ago.

We're all in our 20's.

Sex hasn't changed much.

 

Oh but it will, young Grasshopper.

 

Your girlfriend reminds me a lot of my ex fiance.

 

She loved sex as long as it was with friends of mine.

 

You need to take 2 actions:

 

1. Pull your head out of the sand.

2. Kick her to the curb.

 

Sorry but this is literally happening under your nose and she is giving you the trick and giving him the treat.

 

Close the Candy store.

[Hopefulthinking]

Oh but it will, young Grasshopper.

 

Your girlfriend reminds me a lot of my ex fiance.

 

She loved sex as long as it was with friends of mine.

 

You need to take 2 actions:

 

1. Pull your head out of the sand.

2. Kick her to the curb.

 

Sorry but this is literally happening under your nose and she is giving you the trick and giving him the treat.

 

Close the Candy store.

 

I still wanna beat his ass still. Just don't know how to confront them about it.

 

What did you do when you found out??

Did you dump her?

Did you kick your friends asses??

You should have.

[Osmium13]

She stayed with him for a week? Let's be honest here...

 

This is like the police responding to a report of a night robbery at the paint store and finding two people covered in paint, with paint brushes and pots in their hands, beside the smashed window - then trying to convince themselves that these people are decorators that were just passing the store at 3am.

[1111volcano]

If you have been with your girlfriend for three years, she is the love of your life and you cannot imagine life without her, why haven't you proposed to her earlier? I mean much earlier, I believe that it is too late now. I do not understand these relationships that last for years, but no marriage. The lady begins to wonder just where the relationship is going. I knew my wife for about nine months before I proposed.

. I was w/ my bf for 5 years and never married. I wanted to get to know him and see who he really was before I would marry him. Lol so we broke up because he wasn't what he said he was. I had to see it

[sandylee1]

Hes single

I guess it started about a week and a half ago.

We're all in our 20's.

Sex hasn't changed much.

 

Do as I said and investigate. There's no point doing nothing.

[elaine567]

...recently she has been hanging around with my best friend alot, she went away for a week to his house (he lives in another town) and now that she's back he is staying at her house even when I leave...and when I am around neither of them really talk to me, they sing and talk to each other, am I just being paranoid or does this seem wrong to anyone else?

 

NO, you are not paranoid.

Sorry, but you are now the person who is not welcome, the persona non grata, the one with the hairy green skin.

 

Time to put an end to their little game, dump her immediately.

You cannot just sit around and be disrespected like this.

[Raena]

22 22 21.

 

How come? ?

 

I said she's dating him and not you because what she's doing is not normal. It's abnormal to go spend a week at a man's house while in a relationship let alone the best friend of your boyfriend. But to then invite him to come live with her and ignore you... the signs are there. She's into him and I'd bet my last paycheck that she slept with him while she was at his house.

[Space Ritual]

I still wanna beat his ass still. Just don't know how to confront them about it.

 

What did you do when you found out??

Did you dump her?

Did you kick your friends asses??

You should have.

 

 

1. I flipped out

2. In a manner of speaking

3. yes and I kicked her ass too. Put them both in the hospital with serious injuries and I was subsequently arrested, charged, convicted and sent to prison for 4 years. Not proud of it as I really really messed my life up because I could not control my anger. I got what I deserved. And there has not been a day in the last 28 years that my decision to go ape has not crossed my mind.

 

4. No I should not have. I made the exact wrong decision. I wish I could take it back but I can't. Because of what I did I am considered a violent felon by the State of Illinois. Forever. Not until next week, or next month, or next year. Forever.

 

Had I imagined the difficulty in securing employment, housing, credit would be such a nightmare in and of itself because of what I did, it would have given me pause. I am probably the most cautionary tale there is for what happens when someone acts out in a scenario like that. It is not clean cut and dried like a movie. In a split second i changed my life forever for the worse. Not good in any way, shape , or form. I do not recommend that anyone go out and kick somebody's ass because it is not worth going to jail over a broken heart. I am living proof of that.

 

Do yourself a favor and extricate yourself from the situation.

 

To quote the Lord Humongous from The Road Warrior:

 

"Walk away, and there will be an end to the horror. Just walk away."

[Hopefulthinking]

NO, you are not paranoid.

Sorry, but you are now the person who is not welcome, the persona non grata, the one with the hairy green skin.

 

Time to put an end to their little game, dump her immediately.

You cannot just sit around and be disrespected like this.

 

Confronted them but HOW???

[Hopefulthinking]

i said she's dating him and not you because what she's doing is not normal. It's abnormal to go spend a week at a man's house while in a relationship let alone the best friend of your boyfriend. But to then invite him to come live with her and ignore you... The signs are there. She's into him and i'd bet my last paycheck that she slept with him while she was at his house.

 

what was so ****ing hard about telling me. What little bitches!!

[Hopefulthinking]

HE EVERYONE I just talked to my Girlfriend over to my house a couple of hours ago and had a sit down talk to her and as much as it kills me to admit this on the internet. a heart crushing bomb was dropped on me...she started losing interest in our relation for some time. She thinks that the sparks between us has just burned out. She admitted that she should have been upfront about it but she didn't know how to go about it w/o hurting me. But it's too late I feel betrayed by them BOTH:-(

[Space Ritual]

Chalk it up to bad experience and move on.

 

You know, someday you are going to wake up and realize you have more days behind you than ahead of you. You would be surprised how fast your life goes by.

 

Learn from this experience to have a more discriminating palette when it comes to giving your heart to someone.

[IfonlyIknew]

HE EVERYONE I just talked to my Girlfriend over to my house a couple of hours ago and had a sit down talk to her and as much as it kills me to admit this on the internet. a heart crushing bomb was dropped on me...she started losing interest in our relation for some time. She thinks that the sparks between us has just burned out. She admitted that she should have been upfront about it but she didn't know how to go about it w/o hurting me. But it's too late I feel betrayed by them BOTH:-(

 

 

I'm so sorry hun. This right here reminds us that the simple truth sets everyone free, hurt yes, but free. Rather than robbing our time when we could be in mutual loving relationships. Cheaters not only cheat their partners, but they cheat themselves by not giving 100 to one person. Chalk it up to an experience, when you close your ears from the world, and watch the actions of others, you will see things more clear with out all of the noise.

[dreamingoftigers]

HE EVERYONE I just talked to my Girlfriend over to my house a couple of hours ago and had a sit down talk to her and as much as it kills me to admit this on the internet. a heart crushing bomb was dropped on me...she started losing interest in our relation for some time. She thinks that the sparks between us has just burned out. She admitted that she should have been upfront about it but she didn't know how to go about it w/o hurting me. But it's too late I feel betrayed by them BOTH:-(

 

Which means she is impulsive and views a relationship as "something that should entertain her." You aren't a monkey that does tricks for her. Relationships are based on both people putting in effort to create Sparks and bonding. She isn't doing her part by saying nothing, letting things die out and then playing around with your friend. You deserved so much better treatment than this.