phyrespryte Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Just wondering what everyone has to say on this. I've heard so many conflicting ideas about a female pursuing a male. I've been told that if I like a guy it's ok for me to ask him out. Or it's ok to tell him I like him. But then I hear things like, if he likes you he'll try to ask you out. If he really likes you he'll be doing all the pursuing. I find it hard to believe that because a girl asked a guy out and did all the calling that he couldn't possibly like her that much. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I have wondered this too. If someone finds me attractive -won't they pursue me???? Or is it ok to start up conversation...I look fwd to everyone's answer to your post. Link to post Share on other sites
birdgirl Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 It's been beaten into my head that most men like to chase. Think of sports, what are sports games but people (primarily men) running around after an object and trying to capture it? Plus, well... many men (not all!) will take whatever's put in front of them, sexually speaking. How many men will really turn down sex when it's offered to them? I know this type of man does exist, but I am talking about the majority. If you're a female and you walk into a bar right now, you can almost have your choice of men who will sleep with you. Men aren't so lucky. So if you chase, you'll never know whether he's taking what's been handed to him, or whether he really likes you. I know this may be a very HIGHLY unpopular opinion... but I am talking majority only. I know there are exceptions! Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 "running around after an object and trying to capture it?" so funny-never thought of it that way!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
seranade_u_silly Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Its a confusing issue that your bring up. Anyways, as a guy I'm under the pretense that there would be more romantically satisfied people on Earth if girls made the first move. Its hard to believe but guys are weighed down by pride and fear of rejection which undermines the established order of things (that guys are supposed to approach girls.) We are also unsure of ourselves with little grasp on what we want from the women we go after. In fact when criteria stretches beyond the aesthetic, sexual and cosmetic toward more abstract female traits, men waver, generally blurting out weak and bland descriptions of what they want their target to be. Women on the other hand generally have deep and exspansive ideals for their men. They establish these foundations much earlier than we do and tend to be more sure of what they want when it comes to the total package. Furthermore, real world women are not as shallow as we are, they tend to look beyond the flaws that would usually completely put us off a target. I mean how many times have you seen a beautiful woman love an ugly man? Far more times than visa versa I'm sure. Romance is the woman's arena, there I said it. I mean it is women who are most affected by romantic things and women who know what things are romantic and what things are not. THEY watch the movies. THEY read the books. THEY buy the merchandise. Men only do these things to satisfy women. Women are also ideally placed to be the chasers as the world as the world is run by men. Our desires and turn-offs are well-documented and physically and mentally our buttons are laid bare for females to push. W. Women are an enigma. Link to post Share on other sites
seranade_u_silly Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 SORRY BOUT THE LAST POST. PRESSED ENTER BY MISTAKE AND WASN'T DONE! :-) Its a confusing issue that your bring up. Anyways, as a guy I'm under the pretense that there would be more romantically satisfied people on Earth if girls made the first move. Its hard to believe but guys are weighed down by pride and fear of rejection which undermines the established order of things (that guys are supposed to approach girls.) We are also unsure of ourselves with little grasp on what we want from the women we go after. In fact when criteria stretches beyond the aesthetic, sexual and cosmetic toward more abstract female traits, men waver, generally blurting out weak and bland descriptions of what they want their target to be. Women on the other hand generally have deep and exspansive ideals for their men. They establish these foundations much earlier than we do and tend to be more sure of what they want when it comes to the total package. Furthermore, real world women are not as shallow as we are, they tend to look beyond the flaws that would usually completely put us off a target. I mean how many times have you seen a beautiful woman love an ugly man? Far more times than visa versa I'm sure. Romance is the woman's arena, there I said it. I mean it is women who are most affected by romantic things and women who know what things are romantic and what things are not. THEY watch the movies. THEY read the books. THEY buy the merchandise. Men only do these things to satisfy women. Women are also ideally placed to be the chasers as the world as the world is run by men. Our desires and turn-offs are well-documented and physically and mentally our buttons are laid bare for females to push. We never change. Our appetite for woman is constant but women... women are an enigma. In women; so many variables. The Period, The PMS, The Chastity, The Mood, The Heartbreak and many more. Men don't suffer these things, we are less complex in all facets of romantic play. Look at the physical comparison - its not about penises and vaginas but about men having penises and women having clitoris, labia, G-spot and numerous other erogonous zones located in the most obtuse areas of their bodies like behind the knees. WTF? So in short, ladies, do us all a favour and start going after us. Start communicating with us. Stop waiting for us to notice you before we pluck up the courage to break the ice because most men never do. If a guy you like doesn't ask you out its more because he's too chicken **** and not because he doesn't like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Blackfrost Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 This is a good topic!!! There is absolutely no reason in this day an age why a woman should not feel entirely liberated in pursuing a man. In fact, it might be good for women to understand why nice guys get fed up with pursuing women sometimes. Rejection sucks, no matter what side of the gender field you are on. Also, in this lovely modern age, so many nice guys (not the typical loudmouth a**h*** sleep with anything guys) are just too afraid to make any moves anymore - without the woman practically throwing herself at his feet - because he fears any number of issues of blame or accusation by the woman for over stepping his bounds. I've been asked out by several women in the past, and I will say that those particular women are all held in my highest book of respect for overcoming supposed gender rules, and actually making an effort to get what they want, without waiting and hoping everyday, that maybe mr. right will finally come to them. One of those woman who asked me out is now my wife of 9 years. All praise to the liberated australian girls who pursue men just as hard as men pursue women. American woman have alot to learn from the Oz ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 What a cute and peaceful post, Blackfrost (unlike your avatar ) Unfortunately not all men are like you. Most of them want what they can't get. Men are hunters by nature and like to pursue the woman. My both last relationships had started by me hotlisting the guys and they did everything else. I never felt like I made an extra effort to earn their attention. However I don't like the idea of chasing after guys. And I would definitely hate the rejection part. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 If men are hunters by nature RP, that severely limits the role of women. Their only task would be to be pretty and act a bit dumber than the man she takes an interest in, to stroke his ego. But what would remain of the roles of women in public life and in business life? If that is the nature of the beast, you can't artificially limit it, because it suits you. Grow some 21st century standards. About men wanting what they can't get, the same applies to women. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 It's good to hear that some men do approve of women taking the initiative, but there are still many out there who would judge them in quite mean-minded terms for doing so. You can't tell just by looking if a man's got an enlightened approach, or if he's someone who has a problem with women, and will seize any opportunity he can get to humiliate them for being too "pushy". Also, there's always a certain safety risk involved in going out for a date with a stranger. Yet another reason for women to be inhibited in this area. I think for that reason, women still tend to be a little more cautious and subtle in their approaches - making friends first so that they can gauge what sort of a person the man is... and encouraging romantic progression if the right sort of chemistry seems to be there. That strikes me as a more natural route to romance, in any case, than the "marching up to a stranger with a chat up line at the ready" one. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by phyrespryte I find it hard to believe that because a girl asked a guy out and did all the calling that he couldn't possibly like her that much. What do you think? It depends on whether you want to date a man or a mouse.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author phyrespryte Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 Wow! I'm glad that there are men who don't mind being asked out. I'm surprised though that most of the female posters aren't too keen on the whole idea of being the pursuer. I think Lindya made a good point about the safety risk and having to be more cautious. But then I would think that men experience the same thing, sort of. (Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction) It depends on whether you want to date a man or a mouse.... Well my ex did all the calling and made the first move, I would hardly call him a man. But then I'm a little biased. Just because a woman is making the moves doesn't make him a mouse. Maybe he's just tired of rejection or just plain oblivious. Link to post Share on other sites
Blackfrost Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 It depends on whether you want to date a man or a mouse.... Well, at least you Sig name is accurate Alphamale hahahahaha Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts