A rock and a hard place

[RockandHardPlace]

So here's my situation- my girlfriend of a year and a half and I live together and we couldn't be happier. The issue is one of our flatmates.

 

This flatmate and I have a sexual history reaching back for almost as long as I've known her but it's never been anything even remotely consistent or serious e.g. first year of uni got drunk and had sex once, second year of uni had sex once, third year of uni made out and would have had sex but were interrupted. Last year we didn't see much of each other but we did hook up about a month before I met my current girlfriend.

 

She is a very good friend regardless of our encounters, and as she is a significant part of my social circle she and my girlfriend became friends too. This resulted in the suggestion that we all sign a lease for next(this) year. Should be added that my girlfriend was aware of our history since before day one of our relationship.

 

So things have been pretty cool, but now this flatmate and I have been spending a fair bit of time together while my girlfriend is at work (we take closely aligned postgrad programmes). It's never been anything untoward, mostly looking at words and numbers, watching netflix and joking around, but all this time together has been stoking that underlying attraction that has led to our previous encounters, and now there is a frankly physically uncomfortable amount of sexual tension.

 

There have been a couple of times where flatmate and girlfriend have made out, but girlfriend is quite emphatic that she would never have a threesome with someone we know.

 

I don't feel that speaking to either of them about it is a valid option as my girlfriend is slightly on the jealous side, mostly it's just enough to be endearing but it could spark a huge problem in this case. The flatmate is not the type to talk about feelings - the morning after discussion for the first encounter lasted all of ten seconds.

 

The real kicker is that now my girlfriend wants to live with her next year as well. I don't want to/can't cut her out as a friend especially given the domestic tension/explanation that might incur, and I definitely don't want to jeopardise my relationship with my girlfriend, whom I love very much.

 

So, like the title says, I'm between a rock and a hard place. How do I not screw up everything?

 

Thank you in advance.

[PegNosePete]

So let me get this straight.

 

Your GF makes out "a couple of times" with your ex FWB, and you're completely OK with that?

 

Now your GF wants to live with the two of you in some kind of bizarre love triangle thing, and you're worried you'll jeopardise your relationship because you're feeling attraction towards your ex FWB.

 

Best advice I can give is to simply say "no I don't want to do that".

[loverboy69]

Most women wouldn't want their BF living with an ex sex mate let alone hanging out with them.

 

Sounds like you are both interested in this flat mate at least sexually; maybe one of you more than the other.

 

Decide what you want and move forward with it with or w/o your GF. I personally prefer privacy with my SO.

[aileD]

You're not stuck anywhere. You have a brain. You have willpower. You have choices.

 

If you don't want to jeopardize your relationship then don't sleep with your flat mate.

 

It's not that hard not to have sex with someone

[Miss Clavel]

a committed relationship has room for only two.

 

move away.

 

or stay.

 

have sex with the flatmate behind your girlfriends back. or have sex with the flatmate and your girlfriend. or wait for your girlfriend and the flatmate to have sex behind your back.

 

either way. someone's moving. it's just a question of when.

 

 

if you were in a house and you smelled smoke, would you stay? cuz, it's getting hot over at your house and anyone staying there is gonna get burned.