Dealing w a fiance who will not stop fighting and makes fun of me...for working

[lindabonilla999]

i have a very complex/screwed up situation.

 

The basic summary is that I am engaged to a man who i have lived with for 2 years. He recently lost his job and decided to start his own business.

 

The ENTIRE time I have been with him - I have had to hand over all my paychecks. Yes, I live with him — but he won’t spilt anything. He just says… hand it over.

 

I have had a good life for awhile. He made decent money BUT he wouldn’t pay more than the minimum on my bills —the rest went to HIM.

 

Now, he’s lost his job and he’s starting this new biz. I am paying for everyone —which is still not enough to cover all his bils.

 

Tonight, he came home from working his first day on his new biz and I worked from home. (I should have gone out of town for work, but I didn’t because I knew it would piss him off)

 

He asked why i hadn’t deposited my paycheck into his account yet. He told me that I was brainless and without a clue if I didn’t realize how imperative it was for me to do that.

 

He said that he can’t live with my games….I brought up that I really would like some security and that I would like to at least have a wedding date since I’m giving everything to him. He said you are ALL ABOUT YOU! I said no…I simply want an idea of when we are going to get married. He said no…he can’t make any promises… and he has no idea and the pressure I am putting on him is horrible and WHAT MAN WANTS to come home to THIS?

 

I said I stayed home all day working from home and because I ask about a wedding date…GENERAL date/month — you think I AM THE PROB?

 

He said I am a HUGE problem and no man would want to deal with this…

 

He told me that no matter what he is a HUGE force to be reckoned with and he will ALWAYS win and to remember that…

 

And he won’t be bought…

 

I asked him to please get out of the bedroom by telling him to please leave me alone…so i could have peace ...he said I hope you realize what you are doing…no man wants this…

 

I made fun of me because he said I worked "SOOO HARD" since I got a manicure (first time in 2 months) on my lunch break and I worked from home and he said "SOOOO HARD>>SITTING IN A 4000 sq foot house...HARD WORKER!)

 

No man wants to come home to this…or the fighting. He reminded me his ex was like this and he divorced her “for a reason”

 

 

 

I am desperately in need of help. Should I do as he says? Should I apologize? I feel so ANGRY…and can’t deal with this .. I can’t even sleep

[basil67]

Linda, this guy is abusing you.

 

Do any of your friends or family know of the situation? I'm wondering why you haven't taken your pay checks and left him.

[Raena]

I agree with Basil... it's abuse and you shouldn't be living with him let alone thinking about marrying him. Certainly you should not be handing your entire paycheck over to someone else. that is YOUR money.