kelliemarie11 Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now and his brother (twin) has hit on me multiple times. At first I thought that he was just kidding. I am my boyfriend’s first girlfriend. So I thought that he was just trying to maybe act like he was into me to make his brother jealous or something? I have no idea. He has said things to me like "Let's get naked", "let’s have a foursome", "lets switch girlfriends" in front of my boyfriend (his brother) and his gf. He always says things like that in front of my boyfriend so I thought that maybe he really was kidding. But, it was always in the back of my mind... maybe he's not. So recently it was their birthday so we met up with my boyfriend parents and brother and his gf. We ate lunch, went to Dave n busters and then my bf bought him a bike so we took it to their home. Somewhere between their home and Dave n busters he and his gf got in a fight over costumes that escalated to him telling her to pack her bags and leave. (They fight often)... she didn't want to come to dinner and I advised to ask her again and he didn't want to. We drove to the light rail ( my bf,his bro and me) and we rode the light rail to uptown Charlotte to go to a Japanese restaurant for their bday. My boyfriend was on call this weekend and after finishing dinner he went outside to take a call while I was paying. His brother stayed in there with me while I wait on the check. He puts down 100 dollars and then starts talking to me. He says “Now is your chance to ask me out, I have plenty of money, I make over 100k" I said no. He said what if I made 7 figures? I said no amount of money would I ever date you and left. I did tell my bf but, he is so naive and doesn't think nothing of it. He still thinks that he was kidding. I feel like if that were true then he would have said this in front of my boyfriend. I think that his brother always wants things that my bf has. And his gf is so nice to me. I want to tell her but, don't want to be the reason if they break up and don't think it's my place to say anything.... Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Your boyfriend probably isn't taking it seriously because he's open to the idea of swapping girlfriends or something freaky. They are twins and clearly very close so his brother would not feel comfortable saying those things to you unless he knew that your boyfriend wasn't going to do anything about it. Rather than inserting yourself into his brothers relationship, figure out what is going on in your own. I would never date someone who would allow their brother or friend to hit on me. A guy who truly cares about you wouldn't even let those comments fly in front of him like your boyfriend did. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 I want to tell her but, don't want to be the reason if they break up If you did tell her, it wouldn't be your fault they broke up, it would be his fault for hitting on other women. Saying it's your fault would be blaming the messenger. If you don't want to say anything then you can make it very clear to him that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable. When he tries it again, tell him that it's his last warning, and if he does it again you will tell his GF. I would never date someone who would allow their brother or friend to hit on me. Yes, your BF should be chastising his brother heavily for hitting on his GF. Tell your BF that you don't want to go out with his brother any more because his brother keeps hitting on you, and whether he's "joking" or not, it makes you feel uncomfortable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 He may be trying to test you. To see if you'd cheat on his brother. Could you get your BF to tell him to stop as it makes you uncomfortable? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Your boyfriend probably isn't taking it seriously because he's open to the idea of swapping girlfriends or something freaky. They are twins and clearly very close so his brother would not feel comfortable saying those things to you unless he knew that your boyfriend wasn't going to do anything about it. This is what I'm thinking. I have known twin brothers who swap and certainly are attracted to the same girls. Who knows, your bf may have hit on your brothers gf at one time. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 He may be trying to test you. To see if you'd cheat on his brother. Could you get your BF to tell him to stop as it makes you uncomfortable? Agree with this. He could be testing you. and I don't think you should jump to the conclusion that you BF is ok with the GF swap idea, unless you have more proof. I don't think you should tell his GF either. She could be thinking that you did something here as well. Don't get into the mess. Tell your BF, or his brother that you find it annoying. Be serious. They will get the message Link to post Share on other sites
Author kelliemarie11 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Share Posted November 2, 2016 thank you guys for your input. I told my boyfriend in the car earlier that i didn't like it and he actually understood what I was saying. But, yeah next time he says something to me like this I will tell him not to, that it makes me feel uncomfortable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 I think it’s disrespectful on the twin brother’s part to be behaving like this. Make sure your BF knows how seriously annoyed you are by this behavior and make him talk to his brother. Also, you may want to make sure you avoid being alone with his twin at any given time in the future. I hope things work out for the best for the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Your boyfriends brother is obviously a true slimeball. And your boyfriend IS being naive and dumb ignoring what is happening, especially since you have flat out told him what is going on. So its obvious that to put a stop to this you are the one who is going to have to do it. How??? (1) refuse to attend anything with your boyfriend where his brother is there. Yup, that will be uncomfortable or hard, but this ass hole brother is not likely to quit and eventually he will attempt to corner you alone and really test you. (2) treat him like he is a jerk in a club and be really rude publically to him stating exactly what he is doing. (3) STOP walking on eggshells about hurting the brothers girlfriend feelings or anyone else. A girl ( woman) old enough to date and have sexual relations should know how yo get rid of unwanted men. if you don't I'd suggest googling it and read. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Your boyfriends brother is obviously a true slimeball. And your boyfriend IS being naive and dumb ignoring what is happening, especially since you have flat out told him what is going on. Unfortunately, if they are identical twins then their brains are both wired the same way meaning both brothers could equally be slimeballs. If so, she just hasn't figured it out yet because she is being played well. If this is the case girl then keep your wits about you and be prepared to make a hasty exit from the relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 I think he's joking and you are taking him too seriously. He has made remarks in front of your bf and his gf, you report. You've been together for 3 yrs. but aren't sure if your bf wants to twin swing....really? After 3 yrs. you'd know. His joke may be in poor taste but it is a joke. If you don't like it just say so. He probably is enjoying how flustered and upset you get about it though. Maybe you are reading so much into it because you want to. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 I think he's joking and you are taking him too seriously. If he's joking then it's in mighty poor taste, perhaps bordering on sexually abusive behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 he certainly has poor "boundaries". probably because they are twins. they have been together since before their first breath. when one got something, so did the other one. when one did something, so did the other one. when one learned something, so did the other one. no competition. they are older now. one is getting left behind. he's having a hard time with it because "they" are no longer the same. they are no longer two halves of the same being. he's got to get used to it. used to the fact that the times the two shared everything is OVER. your boyfriend is not going to share you. ever. make that clear to his brother. he will no longer be the closest person to his twin and there are things he will no longer know about his twin. childhood is over. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 3, 2016 Share Posted November 3, 2016 If it were me I would have made such a scene, it would make him run out of there in a hurry....then I would have continued out in the street. When you go psycho they leave you alone. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeSmith357-1 Posted November 3, 2016 Share Posted November 3, 2016 I knew a guy in college who had an identical twin (I mean completely identical, hairstyle and everything) who did the girlfriend swap all the time without them knowing. I always thought it was creepy and could probably be construed as rape, but they always got away with it. I think you should ditch this guy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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