Need deciphering!!

[brunette985]

Hey!!

 

So, I have known this particular guy over two years. We dated in the beginning, but he seemed to be afraid of commitment so I went out with other people. We have since remained good friends (we talk daily about everything), and we still have a FWB relationship going on at times.

 

I do like him to a point, and at times it seems weird that we aren't dating considering what all we talk about and how involved in each others' lives we are, but I've concluded he's either really afraid of commitment or he's one of those guys always looking for "the next best thing" and so it is what it is.

 

I'm confused about a couple things though (hence hoping others can decipher his actions better than me!). If I don't answer texts pretty quickly, or if I get a phone call, or have plans and don't explain them, he always immediately assumes I'm talking to another guy or going on a date. I have told him before when that's the case, so I'm unsure why he always jumps to that. Is that jealousy or insecurity or what? Also, we send naughty things (pics/texts/videos) often to each other. Sometimes it's multiple times a week. This past weekend I went to a Halloween party with one of my guy friends (a legitimate guy friend) and so he pulled his usual "oh so you hooked up with him?" moves. I told him no but he kept making comments so I ignored him most of the day. Yesterday I sent him a naughty text and he was saying "Yeah right" and saying I was "talking crazy".. I thought that was odd so I said to forget I said anything. That resulted in him saying "someone is getting pissy", "you're getting upset... don't be mad", etc. Why does he do this?! Fast forward to last night. He was sending the naughty pics and texts. When I sent one back, and asked what he thought, he didn't say anything. He just seems like he's being a little weird and thus far the only thing I know to do is just remain silent until he contacts me. Do you think maybe he's talking to someone else and doesn't want to say anything? I have no problem removing the sexual part of our friendship, but I'm kind of confused!

 

Any ideas would be helpful and appreciated!

[preraph]

Well, if he was going to turn into a long-term boyfriend, that would have already happened, but instead you two stopped dating because he wasn't anywhere near that. Now he's just keeping you around and doesn't want you enough to commit and is no doubt keeping an eye open to other women, but he is insecure and jealous, which is not a good trait but a common one, and doesn't want you bad enough to commit but jealous if anyone else might have you.

 

In a word, he's immature, and IF you are looking for a serious relationship, he isn't the guy to have it with and look elsewhere. And I will tell you that no guy who wants to get serious with you is about to put up with HIM being around being "friends" and sending nasty texts, so you better dump him if you want to move forward, because he will likely interfere one way or the other with you if you start focusing on someone else.

[brunette985]

Well, if he was going to turn into a long-term boyfriend, that would have already happened, but instead you two stopped dating because he wasn't anywhere near that. Now he's just keeping you around and doesn't want you enough to commit and is no doubt keeping an eye open to other women, but he is insecure and jealous, which is not a good trait but a common one, and doesn't want you bad enough to commit but jealous if anyone else might have you.

 

In a word, he's immature, and IF you are looking for a serious relationship, he isn't the guy to have it with and look elsewhere. And I will tell you that no guy who wants to get serious with you is about to put up with HIM being around being "friends" and sending nasty texts, so you better dump him if you want to move forward, because he will likely interfere one way or the other with you if you start focusing on someone else.

 

Thank you for your input preraph! I am aware of the things you suggested... I am also keeping an eye open for other people, so I'm not phased by that. I have known him a long time and I have dated others much more than he has in that time. I always cut him off (or at least cut him back to "solely friends") if I date others. I don't mind the FWB/friendship we have going on, it's fun between people, my main concerns are about his recent weirdness.