Author hotpotato Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 Honestly, i never found nice guys to be better than so called bad boys. I guess that depebds on what you call a bad boy. In fact, i found the nice guys were more likely to lie and be mean. Ive said earlier in the thread, i have quirks. I may now have quirks related to be single a lot, but when i date i get dumped. Its a vicious cycle. Im introverted and not bubbly like other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 To stop being a doormat, you need to be assertive. Being assertive is about putting your boundaries in place and getting your needs met WITHOUT starting an argument. If you are unable to get your point across without an argument, then you need to learn better communication. With the guy before last...you don't need to be having frequent arguments to have a relationship end. Many of us can look at who a person is and recognise that this is who they are and that makes them unsuitable for us. There's no sense in arguing over that unsuitability because it will solve nothing and just be a waste of time and effort. I can get my points across just fine without arguing. I have many times. Why shouldn't i dump them first? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I can get my points across just fine without arguing. I have many times. Why shouldn't i dump them first? OK... do it and see how you feel. Is it you want to feel empowered or is it because of your fear of being hurt? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 OK... do it and see how you feel. Is it you want to feel empowered or is it because of your fear of being hurt? Well, to me it's gonna happen anyway so i'm just making it happen faster. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 What are these "quirks"? Can you give us a short list? And Hun - as soon as someone shows absusive tendencies, you don't try to change them, you run for the hills. Respect yourself enough to never allow that sort of BS in your life. And even better, recognize a jerk on the first date, not after they start being "mean" - why were you with someone that was mean!?! Someone else said self awareness. When there are repeating patterns in our life, we have to recognize we are the cog - the common denominator. I am aware of some of my less favorable traits, and see how they negatively impact my life - what are yours, and what are their impact - do you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 I suspect i have adhd, and sometimes i do and say things spontaneously. Sometimes it's really funny sometimes it's not. That's a problem sometimes. I'm not very bubbly or extroverted. I'd call that a quirk. I'm not a social butterfly. People have said they liked me better drunk because i was more myself. Now i have problems related to being single for years on end as in being hard to let go of my habits and goals. I wasn't like this so much when i was 20, but i've spent many years single. The first ex wasn't mean all the time. I don't know why i stayed with him. Ok, i do. I realize he was a lot like my mom. That was the only one that was really mean and belittling. That was almost 10 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
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