Darien 76 Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Good morning everyone, I'm struggling today to cope. Today is my ex's 37th Birthday. He reconciled with his ex-wife and then dumped me afterward (had been cheating and his mother filled me in on his status with his ex as he lacked decency to speak with me). It has been 2 months since we last spoke. We would have spent his Birthday together and this is triggering sad feelings in me right now. Could anyone please provide me coping strategies for getting through this today? I am in no danger of contacting him nor do I want to. I just feel sad about all that happened and I think I am feeling triggered by his Birthday and holidays coming up. Thank you in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 I feel events and holidays are incredibly hard to suppress feelings and emotions towards an ex, but often they can benefit you more than dishearten you. I was in the same situation as you yesterday; was my ex's late teenage birthday. I was incredibly hesitant to making any type of gesture, even a simple 'Happy Birthday'. What I did to get through the day, wasn't so much to keep occupied, but ironically think about them and compare how different the day was to last year. I teared up and actually cried myself to sleep, but it partially does make you see sense that you're probably making more of a commotion about it than you should. It's the memories that got me going, but I suppose again it's the realization that there's nothing you can really do from this point onward. Feeling hopeless kind of being the savior here. I'd say attempt doing the above, if all else fails, do the cliche thing and write out a short 'Happy Birthday' letter and shred or burn it once you've given it a good read. Don't bottle in the emotions and feelings that you feel, because they'll only build up over time and make you weak at a random, spontaneous moment in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 You just have to stay very busy. Call up some friends and go out tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darien 76 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Share Posted November 2, 2016 I appreciate your responses. I find that my mind is thinking back to the things we would be doing today if we were still together. We would have taken a little trip or a dinner, I would have gotten him a thoughtful gift. Now he is sharing the day with his ex and I feel horrid about it. I know there's nothing I can do about it and it is what it is. It was once a special day and now it's just another day. I am doing better than I was 2 months ago and this forum has been an immense support for me during this time. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Holidays, certain parts of the year, and even things that you do around your house or when you are visiting your parents house and your significant other was with you can all trigger something inside you. Today for dinner at my parents house, my mother brought out these fruits that they would eat in italy. My ex tried them for the first time here and she loved them. seeing them tonight, it brought me back to the time she came over and had that fruit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darien 76 Posted November 3, 2016 Author Share Posted November 3, 2016 So I got through the day. I even went and had my teeth whitened at the dentist. Happy Birthday to ME!!!! LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
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