aileD Posted November 4, 2016 Share Posted November 4, 2016 I don't know the statistics exactly, but let's say he is in fact the 1 married man in 10,000 who actually means what he says. He in fact fully intends to leave his wife. IF this is his first time bringing it up with her, well they have a lot of stuff to do! These types of changes don't happen overnight. Ending a marriage is a big deal (if he's a good guy). The first conversation is literally just putting it out there. It should be addressing the big giant elephant in the room. And the process after that is like eating said elephant - one miserable bite at a time. But if he is like the other 9,999 married men, he said what he said to get the relationship with you to progress. And maybe he is even kind of unhappy. Maybe he will even say something to his wife about it. My xMM did (unless he lied to me for years, lol). About three years ago he started whining to me about his marriage. And about two years ago he started talking to his wife about divorce. Approximately one and a half years ago he started meeting with attorneys and devising his financial plan. About a year ago he started talking about putting their house on the market. Guess who is still married and living in their house together? I've moved on but you get my point. Yup. And this is why so many of us here say "no contact until he's got his own apartment, divorce papers signed, and had six months to live alone and mourn the end of the marriage/change his mind and go back to wife. " If it's true love for the AP and MM then your love will still be there when he's in the next stage of his life and you meet again as single people. Then YOU also can feel good about it. A clear conscience. You won't live with the inner turmoil of helping to destroy a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Scandipanda Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 What I have found is the very best way to find a sane place is this STOP TEXTING STOP FB STOP MESSENGER STOP EMAIL There is something very scientifically addictive about these habits which will completely get in the way of your being able to think clearly. everyone gives you a hit, and instant high. Leave the only channel of communication as phone calls. Eventually they will become difficult and awkward. Hard to do but simply the most effective way. I know this isnt what you really asked, but it sounds like you need time and space to think clearly. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts