Will she come back eventually?

[Wowthissucks]

First time poster here thanks in advance for any input!

 

I'll try to keep it short..

 

Dated my (now) ex girlfriend for 10 months. I'm 21 and she's 18. We fell in love and we also over this time became best friends. Some info on her.. She was 17 when we met and a senior in high school. She attended a local college so we stayed together. She was an amazing girl, but she also was a sad girl. I believe she is depressed, but I can't be certain. Even before she met me she was insecure about herself.

We would have occasional fights during our 10 months, mostly about small or petty things. I know these fights made her even sadder and more stressed then she was.

 

With all that said, we were each other's first loves. We truley loved each other and accepted each other's flaws and all that. I was there for her, she was there for me. I treated her right and she did the same. The sex was amazing, she would always tell me she didn't like sex before me and never understood it. (She liked making love with someone she had true love for)

 

The first 8 months of the relationship were good she was just a little more into it then me. She was clingy (not a bad thing) and would tell me all the time she wanted to be with me for a long time and she would also say "I'm so obsessed with you" and ask me all the time if I was going to breakup with her because she was worried I might dump her. Looking back on it, if I could have done a couple things better I could have replied to her texts faster or brought her flowers when she was sad, basically small stuff like that. Don't get it twisted though, I was always there for her and she could talk to me about anything.

 

The last month of the relationship she just didn't seem as happy. So I asked her if she was going to breakup with ME. She is a very honest and open person so she replied "I don't know, I'm just not happy". After that we talked and agreed on trying things a little longer to see if things changed. (Yes, dumb idea I know) I tried extremely hard the next two weeks, doing everything I could. But as expected it was two days later when we were driving and I asked if things were changing for the better. She said no not yet, and I got frustrated and upset and said okay then broke up with her. (Even though I consider myself the dumpee) I immediately regretted this but she said she wanted to go through with it.

 

It's now been 2 weeks of being separated. The first week or so I did the usual asking her if she was sure, begging, etc. we talked on the phone once during that and she said she wasent happy with herself, and also wasent happy in the relationship. I asked her if we could ever get back together down the road when she finds herself and she replied with I don't know. I think she was determined not to give into me although she is a very indecisive person. I got my stuff from her house a little while after that and returned the picture of the prom we went to. She told me when we broke up that if I didn't want the picture she did. (Confused as to why) I have looked at her social media and she seems to be doing alright. She often likes posts that are related to "finding your happiness" and "not regretting decisions. She told me to stop contacting her so she could move on, and to block her on social media because she would get jealous of other girls. I got the vibe that right now she was remembering only the bad things about our relationship (fighting)

 

I have seen many people say that the dumper is prepared to move on monthes before actually dumping the person. In my case, yes she told me she was thinking about it for one month, however she did not act like it. She would still blow up my phone, want to see me as much as possible, she was very clingy still and was still very loving. (She wasent faking it, even though you may think that)

 

 

I have been going to the gym 5 times a week the past month to keep my mind off it and to improve myself. Things are hard right now but I know I'll be okay eventually.

 

SOOOO my question is how likely is it that she comes back to me? It's only been 5 days of no contact so obviously I'm not giving up hope. I was her first love and her best friend. I'm also very hesitant to believe she won't be back because of how indecisive of a person she is, and how much she hated guys before me. (She's a very unique and different girl)

 

Thanks!

Edited November 3, 2016 by Wowthissucks
Missed something

[Sweetfish]

First time poster here thanks in advance for any input!

 

I'll try to keep it short..

 

Dated my (now) ex girlfriend for 10 months. I'm 21 and she's 18. We fell in love and we also over this time became best friends. Some info on her.. She was 17 when we met and a senior in high school. She attended a local college so we stayed together. She was an amazing girl, but she also was a sad girl. I believe she is depressed, but I can't be certain. Even before she met me she was insecure about herself.

We would have occasional fights during our 10 months, mostly about small or petty things. I know these fights made her even sadder and more stressed then she was.

 

With all that said, we were each other's first loves. We truley loved each other and accepted each other's flaws and all that. I was there for her, she was there for me. I treated her right and she did the same. The sex was amazing, she would always tell me she didn't like sex before me and never understood it. (She liked making love with someone she had true love for)

 

The first 8 months of the relationship were good she was just a little more into it then me. She was clingy (not a bad thing) and would tell me all the time she wanted to be with me for a long time and she would also say "I'm so obsessed with you" and ask me all the time if I was going to breakup with her because she was worried I might dump her. Looking back on it, if I could have done a couple things better I could have replied to her texts faster or brought her flowers when she was sad, basically small stuff like that. Don't get it twisted though, I was always there for her and she could talk to me about anything.

 

The last month of the relationship she just didn't seem as happy. So I asked her if she was going to breakup with ME. She is a very honest and open person so she replied "I don't know, I'm just not happy". After that we talked and agreed on trying things a little longer to see if things changed. (Yes, dumb idea I know) I tried extremely hard the next two weeks, doing everything I could. But as expected it was two days later when we were driving and I asked if things were changing for the better. She said no not yet, and I got frustrated and upset and said okay then broke up with her. (Even though I consider myself the dumpee) I immediately regretted this but she said she wanted to go through with it.

 

It's now been 2 weeks of being separated. The first week or so I did the usual asking her if she was sure, begging, etc. we talked on the phone once during that and she said she wasent happy with herself, and also wasent happy in the relationship. I asked her if we could ever get back together down the road when she finds herself and she replied with I don't know. I think she was determined not to give into me although she is a very indecisive person. I got my stuff from her house a little while after that and returned the picture of the prom we went to. She told me when we broke up that if I didn't want the picture she did. (Confused as to why) I have looked at her social media and she seems to be doing alright. She often likes posts that are related to "finding your happiness" and "not regretting decisions. She told me to stop contacting her so she could move on, and to block her on social media because she would get jealous of other girls. I got the vibe that right now she was remembering only the bad things about our relationship (fighting)

 

I have seen many people say that the dumper is prepared to move on monthes before actually dumping the person. In my case, yes she told me she was thinking about it for one month, however she did not act like it. She would still blow up my phone, want to see me as much as possible, she was very clingy still and was still very loving. (She wasent faking it, even though you may think that)

 

 

I have been going to the gym 5 times a week the past month to keep my mind off it and to improve myself. Things are hard right now but I know I'll be okay eventually.

 

SOOOO my question is how likely is it that she comes back to me? It's only been 5 days of no contact so obviously I'm not giving up hope. I was her first love and her best friend. I'm also very hesitant to believe she won't be back because of how indecisive of a person she is, and how much she hated guys before me. (She's a very unique and different girl)

 

Thanks!

 

 

Do you want the honest answer?

 

I say the chance are low... but solely my opinion.

The roles have swapped.

She has became the ALPHA and you the BETA.

[Satu]

snip

*She told me to stop contacting her so she could move on, and to block her on social media because she would get jealous of other girls. I got the vibe that right now she was remembering only the bad things about our relationship (fighting)

 

 

*Do exactly what she's asked you to do and get on with your life.

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete her from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

You might get back together at some point in the future, but it seems unlikely.

 

 

Take care.

[Wowthissucks]

Yeah I get the chances are slim, but the fact that she is one of the most indecisive people I have ever met is a factor

[Wowthissucks]

Can anyone else put in their input?

[cucumber95]

Man, I am in similiar situation as you, she was 17 and me 21.

 

I waited for her to write to me, but it's 2 months and nothing. Maybe one day she will write? but no one's knows that. She might not even know that.

 

Move on, it is hard, I know how hard it is, 2 months after breakup and I still cried yesterday when I was our pictures together on computer :/ you can't wait for her, she might write to you, or she might not, never.

 

As Sweetfish said "The roles have swapped.

She has became the ALPHA and you the BETA.", same happend to me, I wanted to breakup with her before because she was lying, I did not, so she broke up later and now I am one in pain...

 

Think about future, that someday you will find someone who would love you for who you are, it will help you to move on.

[DarrenB]

Any other inputs will probably be the same as those already given.

 

You have and are dealing with a younger women (girl), I've been there, I'm sure alot of us have. The thing is, the sooner you realize this the better it will be for you to find closure in yourself rather than her.

 

She's young mate. Teenage years especially, you become incredibly naive and confused about what you want, what you want to achieve and so forth. You were together 10 months, she's essentially taken that as an experience and thought 'This isn't for me... yet' or simply 'I don't want this... yet'. At that age especially, there's still so much learning and experiences to explore and find. A relationship is just added pressure and I'll quote this from my own younger ex: 'A weight of stress that I don't need'. We've all been there, there's alot of responsibilities to take up upon at the late teenage years and she has to focus on the genuine things that matter. I'm not saying that you didn't mean anything to her, but if something is becoming increasingly stressful, or she see's no moving forward, or she simply doesn't want what she currently has, then that is that. She has come to that decision, respectively and given in some thought.

 

I won't say anymore. Divulging into this makes me immensely sad about my own B/U and it's annoying me. Maybe once she's older, she'll return. Maybe once her priorities are completely clear to her she'll want to reconcile or consider being friends with you again. Just know that no matter how much love, care and affection you give someone, they can so easily just take it as an experience and forget your existence. It's better for you to just pretend as if it never happened. Maybe it'll hurt less. Consider it, the one that got away.

[Marc878]

Block her on everything and move on like she did. You come across as needy, weak and hanger on. Extremely unnattractive.

 

Please do not write a long letter pouring your heart out to her.

 

First loves never last and it's not the end of the world.

 

In the future if you chase them they will flee.

 

How do you really turn a woman off?

Cry, beg and plead. Stalk, get clingy.

Write stupid letters.