never ending pursuit

[Oktoberfest]

ok I'll keep this brief as I've posted about it in the No Contact thread. I’ve had a FWB for about 13 months. It was a guy who says he has a GF and is 100% straight. I'm gay and we started hooking up for no strings fun which was all cool as its what we both wanted. The fun was pretty full on and mostly the opposite to how these things work, i.e. he just wanted to please me shall we say!

 

About 4 months ago I started to develop feelings and decided there was no future in this so needed to call it a day. I discussed this with him and he said he understood and that it was ok. About 2 weeks later I started to get emails saying he missed our time together which progressed to direct requests to meet again. I asked if it was me or just the sex and he categorically said he did not fancy me and just wanted the sex. Ok, I repeated we wanted different things so move on. 2 more weeks and the emails started again. I repeated my question and said if it was just sex then there's plenty out there so why keep getting in touch with me? Same response about only wanting sex and not fancying me “whatsoever” – nice choice of words!

 

This has now gone on for 3 months. I've not responded to most emails but did have a brief response a month or so ago. He is still getting in touch today despite me ignoring all his emails since. Anyone any idea what is going on? I've never been pursued like this and all I can guess is he's in complete denial about what he really feels or a total selfish narcissist if he truly has no interest in me as a person?

[loverboy69]

Few things:

 

a) This sexually passive guy is not straight. Just getting that out of the way.

b) He's pretty honest about what he wants ie: sex

c) He's not interested in a relationship

 

I've bed my share of guys in the past who "identified as straight," and the beginning of the night only to turn gay towards the end.

 

Your ex FWB has made it pretty clear of his intentions. I can't read his mind but if he doesn't want anything more than sex you have to respect that. Later on in his life he may or may not come to terms with his other side.

 

Obviously you want more so the choice is yours to make. Pretend a girl as asking you for advice about some dude who just wanted to shag her even though she wanted more. You'd probably tell her to cut ties.

 

Do the same my friend. I know it's hard sometimes in our community to find someone special. I've been there too. But putting yourself out there and seeking out sex with so-called "str8t guys," is what lands us in the positions we find ourselves in.