KB Posted June 18, 1999 Share Posted June 18, 1999 I have been in a relationship with a man for the last three years. He has his good points as most people do. He is very romantic and extremely intelligent which are very important aspects of any relationship. Unfortunately, he has prevented me from making new or keeping old friends and is very insecure. His first wife cheated on him, and I have also once (as has he but another story in itself), but it was never about sex. I felt smoothered and controlled and still do. He has had me followed and my phone calls recorded. I also quit my job because he wants to keep me home (although I have supported him during most of our relationship). This is not healthy, but I find myself stuck in this situation. Is it so bad that he loves me and wants to take care of me and my children from my past marrage? I care about him, but I'm loosing more and more of myself in this relationship. I associate my happiness with being single probably because I was so happy when I divorced from my alcholic ex-husband 4 years ago. I have since gained about 60 lbs and don't have the self-confidence I had when I was single. Can you help me sort things out? I AM looking for a job again and have asked him to move in with his parents for awhile once I find something. Everytime I have asked in the past, he would never leave; I doubt this time will be different. Should I even fight this - it is really wearing me out! Link to post Share on other sites
Flippzoid Posted June 29, 1999 Share Posted June 29, 1999 I have been in a relationship with a man for the last three years. He has his good points as most people do. He is very romantic and extremely intelligent which are very important aspects of any relationship. Unfortunately, he has prevented me from making new or keeping old friends and is very insecure. His first wife cheated on him, and I have also once (as has he but another story in itself), but it was never about sex. I felt smoothered and controlled and still do. He has had me followed and my phone calls recorded. I also quit my job because he wants to keep me home (although I have supported him during most of our relationship). This is not healthy, but I find myself stuck in this situation. Is it so bad that he loves me and wants to take care of me and my children from my past marrage? I care about him, but I'm loosing more and more of myself in this relationship. I associate my happiness with being single probably because I was so happy when I divorced from my alcholic ex-husband 4 years ago. I have since gained about 60 lbs and don't have the self-confidence I had when I was single. Can you help me sort things out? I AM looking for a job again and have asked him to move in with his parents for awhile once I find something. Everytime I have asked in the past, he would never leave; I doubt this time will be different. Should I even fight this - it is really wearing me out! Link to post Share on other sites
Flippzoid Posted June 29, 1999 Share Posted June 29, 1999 Re:stay or go I feel so bad for you!I am currently in a similar situation myself!I know what you mean about being stuck!This man is abusing you.maybe,not physically,but he is mentally!That's even worst.bruises heal but,mental scarring last forever.You must get out of this relashionship somehow.block him out, concentrate on yourself and your children.Try to get money from a family member,or an agency without him knowing,when you have enough, move out you and your children whle he is at work.If you have to hire movers.They're faster than if would try it on your own.pull yourself together and start planning.In the meantime don't let onto him what you're plans are.when the timing is right get ot and don't look back.Iwish you all the luck.Take care.Flippzoid Link to post Share on other sites
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