One time thing or not?

[Jayyy]

THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG. I'm sorry in advance. I just need to vent and also would appreciate advice. I need it sooo much!

 

So I met this guy through my roommate. The guy is her boyfriend's close friend. I'll call him Y. They go to a college less than an hour away from us. I met him in September when her boyfriend came to visit her in college and she wanted us to meet. He bought Y too because she's also good friends with him too. I knew he was coming but I didn't think much of it and thought I'm just meeting a friend and thats it. However, when I met Y we hit it off really well and talked so much. I mean granted that he actually is someone that can ramble for hours according to my friend, we still clicked quickly There were times we were so focused on the conversation that it's like we forgot they were still there lol. We spent that day at the mall and grabbed dinner (which Y paid for mine). I asked my friend that night if she bought me on some blind double date and she said no and he genuinely came to hang out. I was a little suspicious but let it go. We didn't talk after that except he followed me on instagram 2-3 days after he met me and I added him on fb maybe a few weeks later?

The 2nd time I saw him was in October when it was my her boyfriend's birthday and he wanted to spend it with her. He bought some drinks but they weren't anything to get us drunk. The drinks we had barely got us buzzed (that's a long story which isn't relevant to this) but it was still a little something. The 4 of us were drinking in our bedroom and eventually they fell asleep on her bed. Me and Y were on my bed talking which ended up being cuddling. We talked about how we had an ex we had serious feelings for but both ended badly in different ways. He was like "if I was your ex I wouldn't treat you like that". He then told me how he thought I was pretty and couldn't believe that we're from the same county but have never seen each other. He said that he couldn't believe there was a girl like me in our county (whatever that meant). He analyzed me well and said he liked how I "do my own thing" and tell things how it is. I was surprised he caught on to those things when that was his 2nd time meeting me. What made it interesting is that he said he came this 2nd time just to see me and that the 1st time he truly came for my roommate but thought I was cute and was interested in getting to know me. While he was saying all of these things he was still cuddling me and kissing my cheek and then actually kissed me. It was nice and he got on top of me to make out and that's when I stopped him because I suddenly felt awkward that this was happening when my friend her bf were there (even if they were sleeping). He understood and immediately dropped it and continued to cuddle and talk till 5AM. He slept on the couch so as I gave him a pillow and blanket he asked for a goodnight kiss. So I blew him a kiss and laughed and went to my room. Wasn't gonna be that easy ;)The next morning we had class and they had to get back to their dorms, but we acted normal. He added me on snapchat in the night and hit me up asking for my number the next day and I gave it.

We were texting everyday and he would always put in effort to keep conversation flowing. He would ask how I am and want to know things about me. It was just so nice! and then October 14 my dance team had a performance at our school's showcase and I was telling him all about it. He was wishing me luck and asked what time my team was going up and actually texted me again a few min before my performance. He then asked if I was going out after and when I said no he asked if we could chill since he was in the area already for other reasons and I said yes. He picked me up later and we ended up at my dorm....and we hooked up.

There was no sex, just A LOT of making out (we still call it a hookup) I know it's gonna sound naive but I didn't think that would happen but it was great. Half of the time we cuddled, held hands and he would kiss my cheek/forehead. But that makeout became pretty heated to say the very least. My roommate was on a date with her bf so we had the suite for the whole night to ourselves. I still didn't let him sleep with me in my bed though because I felt a little awkward as silly as it sounds. I already felt a little odd after we were done because I personally don't like hooking up. I'd rather keep those things for my bf. Especially when that was my 3rd time meeting him. He slept on the couch but we still made out more on the couch before he fell asleep he had to wake up early the next day to back to our county so he had only 2hrs of sleep. I walked him to his car and gave him a hug. Before he got in he gave me a quick kiss and I told him to text when he got back to be safe. And he did

since that hookup our communication has decreased to the point where we don't talk at all. Texts and snapchats became less frequent, and we didn't speak at all for a little over a week.

2 days ago it was my friend's birthday and he came with me and some friends to dinner at Cheescake. He came before me and there was empty space next to him in our booth but I chose to not sit with him. He still said hi to me but we didn't talk because of how far we were seated. And he had to leave after the dinner for a friend's birthday. He said bye to me and gave me a hug but rubbed his face with mine? Like cheek to cheek. He still has not contacted me since that dinner.

I know I'm gonna be seeing him since he's my roommate's friend but ugh idk what to make of this. I've been feeling like **** because I'm against hookups (personal choice) and I feel bad for doing it. And if I knew he would slowly stop talking I wouldn't have done it. I'm a relationship type of girl, and I'm mad at myself for not making that clear. I guess only time will tell but idk what he wants. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME INPUT. Any advice is appreciated

Edited November 6, 2016 by Jayyy

[Herbalist]

Just be chill and keep coasting along. Stay true to yourself and don't be afraid to message him or sit next to him or whatever and make it clear you still like him. If he just wanted casual hookup sex then he probably won't be responsive, and then you know that the two of you are not compatible. Sucks when that happens but brace yourself because that's 99% of dating throughout all of life. You'll likely find a lot of great potentials but it just won't work out for one reason or another. Most people experience this. You'll get over it each time it happens, and when you find someone who is a great match for you, well it'll be great. What many people never get over is selling out their true selves for someone they realize wasn't worth it once it's over and done. So don't do that.

[Jayyy]

anyone else want to give me some input?? much appreciated