Conflicting messages from co-worker

[Simone9899]

Hi,

 

I am a 36 year old female. I am married but the marriage is not working out and we are heading for a divorce.

 

For the last month I have been chatting through an office chat system with a co-worker. I've known him for a long time but about a month ago I started noticing him differently.

 

For at least a full week he was definitely flirting with me. He would says things like 'you walk loudly' (as a joke) and I would reply 'I don't walk loudly but you are just listening hyper sensitively if I'm coming your way'. He would reply with a shy smiley saying that was actually true.

He would also act very clumsy around me and say he doesn't know how to behave himself when near me.

 

We chatted all day long even about some very personal topics. After a week we exchanged phone numbers and we sent some messages through whatsapp. He always replied within minutes of me sending something.

 

The first week maybe 2 it was a very mutual flirt. After that it seemed he maybe took a step back a little bit, but still flirting.

 

What I said above is flirting right? Or am I mistaken? When talking about me and my pending divorce he also said that I needed a man to lead me in my life. The days and weeks after he would keep hinting that he was that kind of man.

 

He also gave me a ride to work 2 times in his car. Even though he didn't have to.

 

He caught me staring at him last week and called me on it. I asked him if this bothered him and he said he would tell me if it did (so it apparently didn't).

 

I hinted on dating but he never really replied or set a date.

 

Yesterday morning I subtly let him know where I was going to be saturday night. I asked him if he had plans and he said he was going out to drink beers.

 

I asked him when he was going to drink a beer with me but he never responded. So I thought that was it. He was not interested.

 

But then, last night, he showed up (with a friend) at where I was spending my evening. This can hardly be a coincidence can it? It was a casino. There is only one in my (large) city so there was no way he could have avoided seeing me.

 

We had a great night and I stood really close to him, he didn't pull back.

 

 

He went home with his friend (they drove together) and I went home seperatly. I then (felt brave) texted him if he wanted a good-night drink.

 

He replied that that would not be wise. I pushed and pushed (which I am now very ashmed of) and finally asked him: 'If I were single, would you go out on a date with him"

 

He then replied that I'm a very sweet girl but 1. He has someone in his live he cares about 2. he doesn't **** where he eats (meaning he doesn t date at work).

 

I was just shocked. I was convinced he was single. We talked about me being single again soon and how I really looked forward too it. And he said things like 'its not fun to be alone at christmas' . I was fishing for info on his relationship status for many times, but he never said "i'm taken".

 

 

Now I 'm just very confused:

 

1. Did he flirt with me or was I just imagining things?

 

2. Was it just a coincidence that he showed up last night? (I think not)

 

3. If it was not a coincidence; why did he come If he already knew he wasn't going to follow through?

 

4. Does he have a girlfriend or is he just blowing me off?

 

 

5. did he maybe meet someone about 2 weeks ago when he started giving me less attention.

 

 

I can accept it if he really is in a relationship and will of course leave him alone now. We work together so it cannot get any more ackward than it already is.

 

But I just have this feeling that there is more to this. I really felt we connected at a deeper level.

 

Did I imagine everything? Or does he like me back but doesn't want to do anything because he is involved or because he thinks he might be causing me to get divorce and doesn't want that to be his fault?

 

Please advice me because Iḿ going nuts.

 

This morning I texted him apologizing for my texts and said it wont happen again. Also said I really had no clue he was involved.

[Buddhist]

I am married but the marriage is not working out and we are heading for a divorce.

 

Heading for a divorce, is not divorced, nor available, nor even in a position to be available anytime soon. Just saying.

 

He then replied that I'm a very sweet girl but 1. He has someone in his live he cares about 2. he doesn't **** where he eats (meaning he doesn t date at work).

 

This right here is everything you need to know. He is not interested.

 

1. Did he flirt with me or was I just imagining things?

2. Was it just a coincidence that he showed up last night? (I think not)

3. If it was not a coincidence; why did he come If he already knew he wasn't going to follow through?

4. Does he have a girlfriend or is he just blowing me off?

5. did he maybe meet someone about 2 weeks ago when he started giving me less attention.

 

None of this matters because he's not interested and you're not available.

[Simone9899]

I understand what you are saying.

 

I appreciate your reply.

 

But I am getting divorced, this was already happening before all this and has been coming for a long time.

 

So I am perfectly free to date and flirt and not emotionally involved with my husband anymore