To Jennie A/K/A various

[Tony T]

Jennie:

 

Instead of getting upset because of other's problems with your multiple identities and posts, rather than urging them, in a rather hostile fashion, to ignore your posts I think the better course for you personally is to ignore theirs.

 

I don't think it is ever a good idea to stifle someone else's freedom of expression. However, if you do that to others you are actually doing to them the same thing they are doing to you. There is simply no point.

 

Do whatever you want but just ignore responses that cause you to become upset. I think you should also work with your therapist to learn that it is YOU, not others, who causes you to become upset. You must take the responsibility for that decision. Remember, every feeling you have is a decision you have made. Other people and other people's actions do not make you mad...YOU do. So many people go to their grave thinking other people made them angry, depressed, anxious, depressed, etc., when in actually those were choices THEY made. You do have control if you will take it.

 

I join others in feeling it's tragic that your same problem has lingered for many months and that you find it necessary to post it often here. I am truly sorry that you have not grasped sufficient control over your life to solve this for yourself.

 

But I also know there are many kinds of people with varying backgrounds on the planet and, for whatever reasons, you must be doing your best to solve things. I wish you great luck in this effort.

 

Please use this forum to your best advantage but, for your own mental health, wellbeing, and dignity I hope you will consider not engaging people who are hostile to you. It serves no purpose whatsoever. You are not a better person for it.

 

Do what YOU have to do to get better and get some control over your life.

[why do i feel so trapped?]

tony, i know that you are right in what you say, but it just seems that laurynn has singled "me" out specificaly for reasons that i don't even understand.

 

tony, i can name posts that i have seen here myself repeatedly and no one else complained at all!

 

i seen you respond to a certain post over and over again to the point that i could not understand why you kept answering her post.

 

the post was from a female who thought her b'f was spying on her with cameras in the house.

 

now where was laurynn when this post kept popping up? why did she not yell at this person about the repeated post? and she never used the same name twice!

 

that is only one, there are alot of others but i wont go into them all, but no one complained and no one seemed to care.

 

it seems that laurynn just has singled me out for some strange reason.

 

i have/am in counseling and things are getting better between my boyfriend and me........it's just at times we still fight, mostly when he is stressed from work and at those times i want to leave and at those times i post out of frustration cause i need to vent or need someone to talk to.

 

i keep hoping for a solution other then leaving him, i don't really want to leave him, even tho he can be a jerk, he is still a good person.

 

my daughter and my grandson and me we are all a family. he talks about things to come, like on easter he was talking about "the boys" meaning our grandson and two newphews, and how fun they would be next year on easter hunting for eggs.

 

he talks about things to come like we will always be together and that is what he wants.

 

he tells me all the time how beautiful i am, he tells me all the time how much he loves me, he helps me out alot, he is there for the most part when i need him for anything, he always buys what we need for the house or vehicles.

 

he takes care of things, then he may have a bad deal in his loans going down and losing the deal and then get angry and i can't say a word to him without him thinkng i am pressuring him.

 

he is a good person for the most part, maybe it is just me, i havent' figured it out yet, but i'm working on it. posting here and hearing others opinions helps me to add insight i may not have thought about or to see it from a different view.

 

i don't mean to "bug" people on here, sometimes it just seems like a different problem, maybe cause i look at it differently at times too.

 

i wont "yell" anymore tho, i will ignore any further posts from laurynn, if she has to have her say then she can have it!

 

i agree it is myself who is making me upset and not her, and i will remember that next time. thank you tony, you seem to help me see things that i don't see, once again.

 

.................................jennie

Jennie: Instead of getting upset because of other's problems with your multiple identities and posts, rather than urging them, in a rather hostile fashion, to ignore your posts I think the better course for you personally is to ignore theirs. I don't think it is ever a good idea to stifle someone else's freedom of expression. However, if you do that to others you are actually doing to them the same thing they are doing to you. There is simply no point. Do whatever you want but just ignore responses that cause you to become upset. I think you should also work with your therapist to learn that it is YOU, not others, who causes you to become upset. You must take the responsibility for that decision. Remember, every feeling you have is a decision you have made. Other people and other people's actions do not make you mad...YOU do. So many people go to their grave thinking other people made them angry, depressed, anxious, depressed, etc., when in actually those were choices THEY made. You do have control if you will take it.

 

I join others in feeling it's tragic that your same problem has lingered for many months and that you find it necessary to post it often here. I am truly sorry that you have not grasped sufficient control over your life to solve this for yourself. But I also know there are many kinds of people with varying backgrounds on the planet and, for whatever reasons, you must be doing your best to solve things. I wish you great luck in this effort. Please use this forum to your best advantage but, for your own mental health, wellbeing, and dignity I hope you will consider not engaging people who are hostile to you. It serves no purpose whatsoever. You are not a better person for it.

 

Do what YOU have to do to get better and get some control over your life.

[why do i feel so trapped?]

tony, i know that you are right in what you say, but it just seems that laurynn has singled "me" out specificaly for reasons that i don't even understand. tony, i can name posts that i have seen here myself repeatedly and no one else complained at all! i seen you respond to a certain post over and over again to the point that i could not understand why you kept answering her post. the post was from a female who thought her b'f was spying on her with cameras in the house.

 

now where was laurynn when this post kept popping up? why did she not yell at this person about the repeated post? and she never used the same name twice! that is only one, there are alot of others but i wont go into them all, but no one complained and no one seemed to care. it seems that laurynn just has singled me out for some strange reason. i have/am in counseling and things are getting better between my boyfriend and me........it's just at times we still fight, mostly when he is stressed from work and at those times i want to leave and at those times i post out of frustration cause i need to vent or need someone to talk to.

 

i keep hoping for a solution other then leaving him, i don't really want to leave him, even tho he can be a jerk, he is still a good person. my daughter and my grandson and me we are all a family. he talks about things to come, like on easter he was talking about "the boys" meaning our grandson and two newphews, and how fun they would be next year on easter hunting for eggs. he talks about things to come like we will always be together and that is what he wants.

 

he tells me all the time how beautiful i am, he tells me all the time how much he loves me, he helps me out alot, he is there for the most part when i need him for anything, he always buys what we need for the house or vehicles. he takes care of things, then he may have a bad deal in his loans going down and losing the deal and then get angry and i can't say a word to him without him thinkng i am pressuring him. he is a good person for the most part, maybe it is just me, i havent' figured it out yet, but i'm working on it. posting here and hearing others opinions helps me to add insight i may not have thought about or to see it from a different view.

 

i don't mean to "bug" people on here, sometimes it just seems like a different problem, maybe cause i look at it differently at times too. i wont "yell" anymore tho, i will ignore any further posts from laurynn, if she has to have her say then she can have it! i agree it is myself who is making me upset and not her, and i will remember that next time. thank you tony, you seem to help me see things that i don't see, once again. .................................jennie