Just how rare is it to find someone who's compatible on all major dimensions?

[amerikajin]

I guess I've had one of those experiences that has made me think long and hard about my love life.

 

I'm really into this girl, but I already have the feeling that the feelings aren't being reciprocated. The short of it is, she's not only attractive physically, but also in a way that stoked my interest mentally and in other ways, too. We had a nice long conversation, but in the end, I think my own greed has gotten the better of me - it just so happens I was making some progress with her friend about two weeks ago, and no doubt, they have touched base. I didn't know they were friends until she told me while we were out together.

 

That's not the point here: the point is, finding someone that you are really attracted to on ALL levels - sexually, spiritually, intellectually, and otherwise - is a really, really rare event. I guess that's why I've been holding out for so long, just to see if I can find that sole mate I hear people talking about. I've found it only once before and lost it, and I was hoping I'd found it again, but didn't this time.

 

It kinda stings, but it also raises my awareness. Believe me, if I'm lucky enough ever to meet someone I can connect with on all levels, I will do whatever I can to keep her. I now realize just how rare such a person is.

[alphamale]

it is rare AMERIKAJIN....i think i've been with 3 women all my life where we both connected mutually on all levels....

 

its great when it happens, but don't hold your breath. until "the one" comes along just bang any woman that will have you

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by alphamale

it is rare AMERIKAJIN....i think i've been with 3 women all my life where we both connected mutually on all levels....

 

its great when it happens, but don't hold your breath. until "the one" comes along just bang any woman that will have you

 

 

On another note:

 

IT IS EXTREMELY RARE, and that is why it is so precious. And even when u do find someone, there is no guarantee that they will feel the same way. We just have to hold out. And NEVER settle.

 

I had the discussion with my friend the other night about how oftentimes though we are physically attracted to someone, we do not connect spiritually. I have met a great friend who I’m attracted to completely (spiritually, intellectually, emotionally) just not physically. I’m waiting to see what happens as I don’t want to be shallow, but I can’t help it. I want to find the person sexy…

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SummerRae

as I don’t want to be shallow, but I can’t help it.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

Well, it’s true. I’m just being honest. The man doesn’t have to be Brad Pitt or Rico Suave for that matter, but he has to be **sex** to me…

[SummerRae]

oooooops! That was supposed to read sexy NOT sex. (Where's my mind today?)

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SummerRae

The man doesn’t have to be Brad Pitt or Rico Suave for that matter, but he has to be **sex** to me…

its nice u are honest SUMMERRAY....but I just love it when women say "oh....but he has to be attractive to me!" WTF does that mean???? Is it said to make you sound non-superficial. Cause chances are if he is attractive to you then he'll be attractive to many other women...

[SummerRae]

Though it’s been said many times, many ways, Alphamale, you are a PAIN in the a$$.

 

So in response to what you asked, NO, they will not necessarily be attractive to others.My ex-military man was by no means conventionally attractive. In fact, when my cousin saw him for the first time, she was like WTF! He had a big nose and was v. thin and tall. But he had killer confidence… which made him super sexy. That is what sexy to ME means.

[amerikajin]

Forgive me if this discussion occasionally turns a little crude...

 

There are lots of women I'm interested in sexually. I find them attractive enough to have sex with.

 

But finding someone that I find extremely sexy, someone I'd want to have sex with again and again and again, is very, very rare. That can only be with someone who really has a way of turning me on in every way.

 

Reverting back to the discussion on "strong women/submissive men", one thing I failed to mention was that I think that even though men should be the dominant, stronger sex, and that women should be more submissive, the degree of both will depend on the individuals involved in the relationship. I think that it depends on what I call gender attraction polarity, though I'm certainly not the one who came up with this concept. It's been around for ages, and I believe it's a biological reality.

 

For example, if you have a really feminine women, she'll likely end up being attracted to a super masculine man, and vice versa. I see it all the time where I live among foreign couples. Feminine beauty is paired with very masculine men, whereas the closer you get to the middle, the more toned down their respective gender identity becomes. That is not to say that the rest are somehow not masculine or feminine, but they possess less of it than their counterparts.

 

Judging myself (which is never easy), I'd say that based on what women have told me, I am attractive in the face and that I'm in decent shape. But honestly, I know that my level of "machoness" isn't as high as, say, ALPHAMALE'S I mean, I'm not effeminate, but I'm not super masculine either.

 

I guess in my case, I want a woman who's feminine on the outside but has a little bit of aggressiveness on the inside, perhpas more aggressiveness than the average female. But finding all of the things I want in a woman is extremely difficult. I think it is indeed very rare to meet someone who is capable of doing that to you. I only realized it a few nights ago when I was out on my date. I felt something that I haven't felt in a while, and I didn't realize that I didn't have the same feeling about other women. That's the argument against settling, I suppose.

 

As that song by England Dan and John Ford Coley goes: "It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along."

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by amerikajin

Forgive me if this discussion occasionally turns a little crude...

 

There are lots of women I'm interested in sexually. I find them attractive enough to have sex with.

 

But finding someone that I find extremely sexy, someone I'd want to have sex with again and again and again, is very, very rare. That can only be with someone who really has a way of turning me on in every way.

 

Reverting back to the discussion on "strong women/submissive men", one thing I failed to mention was that I think that even though men should be the dominant, stronger sex, and that women should be more submissive, the degree of both will depend on the individuals involved in the relationship. I think that it depends on what I call gender attraction polarity, though I'm certainly not the one who came up with this concept. It's been around for ages, and I believe it's a biological reality.

 

For example, if you have a really feminine women, she'll likely end up being attracted to a super masculine man, and vice versa. I see it all the time where I live among foreign couples. Feminine beauty is paired with very masculine men, whereas the closer you get to the middle, the more toned down their respective gender identity becomes. That is not to say that the rest are somehow not masculine or feminine, but they possess less of it than their counterparts.

 

Judging myself (which is never easy), I'd say that based on what women have told me, I am attractive in the face and that I'm in decent shape. But honestly, I know that my level of "machoness" isn't as high as, say, ALPHAMALE'S I mean, I'm not effeminate, but I'm not super masculine either.

 

I guess in my case, I want a woman who's feminine on the outside but has a little bit of aggressiveness on the inside, perhpas more aggressiveness than the average female. But finding all of the things I want in a woman is extremely difficult. I think it is indeed very rare to meet someone who is capable of doing that to you. I only realized it a few nights ago when I was out on my date. I felt something that I haven't felt in a while, and I didn't realize that I didn't have the same feeling about other women. That's the argument against settling, I suppose.

 

As that song by England Dan and John Ford Coley goes: "It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along."

 

Interesting feminine/masculine theory..... I believe I am the feminine in some extremes but then I am also v. masculine in the way that I'm extremely independent and won't take a lot of shi! from people. The funny thing is when I think about my last 2 ex's, the reason I loved their masculine traits is that they could also handle mine. It didn't bother either of them that I'm extremely strong-willed because they had enough strength in themselves to be able to handle mine.

 

I know what you mean about the rarity of attraction. It's human nature to yearn for someone in your life who reflects you and sees you for who u really are... it makes us feel alive, connected, and just plain understood. In a world full of so many different people finding that magical formula is just that: magic.

 

Thanks for your post though, it helped me to see that I really need to spend time getting to know myself again and really reflecting on what I want.

[amerikajin]

The funny thing is when I think about my last 2 ex's, the reason I loved their masculine traits is that they could also handle mine. It didn't bother either of them that I'm extremely strong-willed because they had enough strength in themselves to be able to handle mine.

 

If you don't mind my asking a personal question, how did they handle it? Could you give me an example? This is priceless info

 

It's a strange phenomenon, isn't it?

 

You naturally want to have the freedom to assert yourself, even if it's considered "masculine" to some extent. Yet at the end of the day, you want the man to be man enough to control it. A womanly man wouldn't be man enough to control your masculinity, which is why you seek out a stronger man. I think most women want a man like that, and at the end of the day, I think most men - regardless of how enlightened we say we are - want a woman they can handle. Men get temporarily blinded by their own erections, but I think we would have to acknowledge that we would be no more comfortable being in a relationship with a woman who is constantly pushing us around. So even if we get a little disappointed at losing a hot-bodied woman, in the end, it's nature's mercy, if you will.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by amerikajin

The funny thing is when I think about my last 2 ex's, the reason I loved their masculine traits is that they could also handle mine. It didn't bother either of them that I'm extremely strong-willed because they had enough strength in themselves to be able to handle mine.

 

If you don't mind my asking a personal question, how did they handle it? Could you give me an example? This is priceless info

 

Hmmmmmm...... that's a good question. Well, I guess I would push their wills a bit, test the waters. I would try to get my way, see how far I could push them. And see how thoughtfully and logically they could handle that. Would they call me on my ****? Would they see what I'm doing? Would they still love me?? Both of them continued to SHOW that they did. And I believe that was what made me love them more. I am a v. deep person, I think so much about life, the nature of reality and all those big philosophical questions. They were perfectly ok with our differences. They weren't as intellectual as I am. But I liked that because they were strong enough to handle it in the way that they weren't threatened by the fact that I was that way. And they encouraged me to live more in the moment. Basically, they sort of reigned me back into THIS world.

 

I could spend day after day reading spiritual books, learning about the laws of attraction, psychology, etc... and they would remind me that I'm living here, on earth. That I don't need to overthink e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. I liked that it didn't overwhelm them. They were able to understand and respect that it IS my nature and it always will be. After which point, there was always comfortable silence. An inner knowing that I was accepted for who I was.

 

And I guess I challenged them in some ways. To think about life deeper, to believe in miracles, and synchronicity and all these beautiful wonders that I see and would try to show them. We were able to see the world through each other's eyes. I guess I always admired that they were fulfilled and satisfied with NOT knowing... admired that they were so able to be in love and love and just have fun with life and not ask why. Because I am so the opposite. Everything precludes WHY?

 

I am realizing right now as I write this, that I have to integrate those qualities into my life. Go with it. Stop trying to fight the fact that things are not always exactly as I like. I have to relinquish control of things that are clearly beyond my control and just enjoy what is before me. With or without someone there to reflect that.

 

I could go on about this, but I won't. Interesting question.

It's a strange phenomenon, isn't it?

 

VERY.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by amerikajin

You naturally want to have the freedom to assert yourself, even if it's considered "masculine" to some extent. Yet at the end of the day, you want the man to be man enough to control it. A womanly man wouldn't be man enough to control your masculinity, which is why you seek out a stronger man. I think most women want a man like that, and at the end of the day, I think most men - regardless of how enlightened we say we are - want a woman they can handle. Men get temporarily blinded by their own erections, but I think we would have to acknowledge that we would be no more comfortable being in a relationship with a woman who is constantly pushing us around. So even if we get a little disappointed at losing a hot-bodied woman, in the end, it's nature's mercy, if you will.

 

Yes, I definitely think it's nature's will. Even with how things unfolded for me. As much as I resent(ed) (it flunctuates between nostalgia and pain of not having like-minded souls in my life) them no longer being HERE for me... I know that it MUST be done. For my growth as an individual, I need to see what I am capable of on my own. I need to develop all the qualities I loved in them, for myself.

 

They were these temparary magical mirrors who showed up in my life to show me that I was not alone on this journey. And as much as it hurt(s), I don't regret a thing.

 

I was talking to my g/f the other night and she was saying how lucky I am to be such a romantic, to be capable of such Love... she has never been in love in her life. I never imagined reaching your mid-twenties not ever experiencing love. I realized how lucky those of us who have truly are. I realized what is meant by the saying "no Love lost." Even though it sucks shi! that I'm not getting what I want.

 

Instead, I'm being propelled towards self-actualization...... even against my own will. Not sure if u relate to any of this??

[amerikajin]

Not sure if u relate to any of this??

 

Nah, I'm too much of a simpleton.

[amerikajin]

Hey, summerrae, clean out your PM box, will ya?

[miss-gonewest]

Originally posted by amerikajin

I think that it depends on what I call gender attraction polarity, though I'm certainly not the one who came up with this concept. It's been around for ages, and I believe it's a biological reality.

 

For example, if you have a really feminine women, she'll likely end up being attracted to a super masculine man, and vice versa. Feminine beauty is paired with very masculine men, whereas the closer you get to the middle, the more toned down their respective gender identity becomes.

 

Amerika, this is a fascinating thread... kudos to you for starting it! I am yet to read through yours & Summer's later threads, but I'm at work and sneaking bits in! I don't know that I fully understand this theory, but I certainly see where you are coming from!

 

Judging myself (which is never easy), I'd say that based on what women have told me, I am attractive in the face and that I'm in decent shape. But honestly, I know that my level of "machoness" isn't as high as, say, ALPHAMALE'S I mean, I'm not effeminate, but I'm not super masculine either.

 

Don't take this the wrong way but from reading your posts, I would have picked you for a quite a.... (trying to find the right words here...) blokey bloke, or a lads lad... and no, you aren't as butch as Alpha, but you don't come across as wimpy (again not a good word).

 

You seem to be assured, intelligent, not easily persuaded and you seem to have a good set of morals in place. You also seem to believe in what you say without being afraid to say it... all good traits when looking for a masculine man.

 

I guess in my case, I want a woman who's feminine on the outside but has a little bit of aggressiveness on the inside, perhpas more aggressiveness than the average female.

Its really interesting to hear you say this... I would class myself as being kinda fiesty (yet feminine) and I think this has been attractive to my ex fellers. However, after the first few weeks/months the novelty wears off and I think they find that they would in fact prefer to be the dominant one. So this is why your comment is curious... I'd love to hear more from you if you have the time???

 

Anyway, thanks for the super thread Amerika & Summer!

[amerikajin]

I’m waiting to see what happens as I don’t want to be shallow, but I can’t help it. I want to find the person sexy…

 

No need to feel shallow, it's your body talkin'.

 

Actually, this is what I refer to as the game of "romantic black jack." We're always grabbing that last card, hoping we don't go bust.

 

I think there are two types of people in romance:

 

a) Those who hold out for what they want

b) Those who settle for something they think they can live with.

 

What's funny is that I've seen both types of people succeed and fail in marriages. Sometimes, people hold out for what they want and live happily ever after; others in this category fail, and the reason they fail is because people change. Those in group A don't handle the changes as well as those in group B.

 

By comparison, those in the b group succeed because they accept the person for who they are, and they make the best of it. They nourish the relationship better than those in group a. But, sometimes, those in group b have to endure the torment of meeting people outside of marriage, knowing that they are far more strongly attracted to them than they are their partner, and in some cases, they indulge.

[miss-gonewest]

Originally posted by amerikajin

You naturally want to have the freedom to assert yourself, even if it's considered "masculine" to some extent. Yet at the end of the day, you want the man to be man enough to control it.

 

Fabulous point! Now I understand your theory and I think you are bang on!!! This is exactly what I look for... and I continue to look for in a man!

 

A womanly man wouldn't be man enough to control your masculinity, which is why you seek out a stronger man.

 

This is a really interesting point....

 

I see very quiet, subdued men with very strong and demanding women and they seem to have successful relationships.

 

I think it is possible for a woman to be the dominant one, but is that just because these men are too weak to stand up for themselves? Or is it that they have been overturned by their female partner? Or that they in fact look for an agressive partner?

 

I think most women want a man like that, and at the end of the day, I think most men - regardless of how enlightened we say we are - want a woman they can handle.

 

My last two loves were VERY masculine - and I think that's where their charm lay; I thought that they would be able to handle my more gregarious side, but I see now that they really did want to be the pant wearers.

 

Surely there must be some hope for me? There has to exist a man in the middle of the road that can successfully reign me in, and delight in the fact that I am able to speak my mind?

 

Men get temporarily blinded by their own erections, but I think we would have to acknowledge that we would be no more comfortable being in a relationship with a woman who is constantly pushing us around. So even if we get a little disappointed at losing a hot-bodied woman, in the end, it's nature's mercy, if you will.

 

Tell us more about your lady love, Amerika? I assume she is quite outgoing? And are you absolutely sure there is no chance for romance??? Please tell me that you aren't giving up?

[amerikajin]

Fabulous point! Now I understand your theory and I think you are bang on!!! This is exactly what I look for... and I continue to look for in a man!

 

Hey, I'm not as macho as some dudes, but I've recently understood that this is what I want in a relationship for myself. I want someone who is beautiful and challenging, but in the end, someone who is willing to let me be the man. I think a person knows when they are stronger than their partner, and it's not natural for a woman to feel stronger than her partner, which is why she dumps him ASAP if he can't pass her tests; conversely, even though a lot of wussbags hang around hoping for a "yes" to a first or second date, it's actually in the poor boy's best interests to let her go, because he wouldn't want to be around a woman who was frustrated with him all the time - and I've come to understand that a woman can't be blamed for her frustration in that situation. If her man ain't man enough, it's just naturally gonna manifest itself. Time for both to move on in that situation. The thing that sucks is that sometimes one or the other person can occasionally come to the wrong conclusion based on a first impression.

 

In my case, I am honestly not intimidated by this woman, I am just a little "wowed" by her you might say. I do something I don't normally do and called her up in the middle of the day two days after our date and wanted to talk just for a bit to get a sense for things, but she was in the middle of something at work so she couldn't talk - which is typically something I'm dubious of, but it is indeed possible that was the case. I sent a follow up e-mail just telling her I had a nice time and that I hoped to see her again. She replied today saying that I'm a "nice neighbor" (Blech!) I suppose it's possible something may come of it, but I doubt it. In my experience, when a woman is interested, she usually lets you know in no uncertain terms.

 

I think it is possible for a woman to be the dominant one, but is that just because these men are too weak to stand up for themselves? Or is it that they have been overturned by their female partner? Or that they in fact look for an agressive partner?

 

Sometimes there is confusion, a disconnect between feeling and thoughts. Maybe the man thinks "I need her, so I can't challenge her," even though he feels rotten on the inside. The woman resents the man for not challenging him, so maybe one of two things happens: either she 1) has grown so accustomed to controlling him that it has become a part of her identity and become a dominating woman, or 2) she dominates him to provoke an outburst that will put her back in her place. But if a man is really disspirited, number 2 ain't gonna happen. She'll get even more frustrated. That's when affairs happen.

 

My last two loves were VERY masculine - and I think that's where their charm lay; I thought that they would be able to handle my more gregarious side, but I see now that they really did want to be the pant wearers.

 

Maybe you just haven't found the right man yet. There might be someone out there who could handle it, although introspection never hurts (whether you're a man or woman).

 

Surely there must be some hope for me? There has to exist a man in the middle of the road that can successfully reign me in, and delight in the fact that I am able to speak my mind?

 

Chances are, it will be a rough and tumble guy who doesn't mind speaking his mind. I find that outspoken people usually end up with other outspoken people. You can have a sensitive type with someone who's occasionally outspoken, but not with someone who's outspoken by nature. I've tried being with someone who's along those lines and I know that despite my attraction to her, that may have been the reason we split. She would just overwhelm me sometimes, and not being experienced at relationships, I couldn't handle it, so I'd just end up trying to avoid arguments and fuming all the while. A more confrontational man would have been able to deal with her better, I think.

 

 

Tell us more about your lady love, Amerika? I assume she is quite outgoing? And are you absolutely sure there is no chance for romance??? Please tell me that you aren't giving up?

 

I don't know where we stand at this point.

 

She's outgoing but not ostentatious. She's 35, in great shape, and she dresses to the hilt, immaculate. She's very much a woman, but after talking to her, I can also tell that she's got strength. She's 'different'.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by amerikajin

For example, if you have a really feminine women, she'll likely end up being attracted to a super masculine man, and vice versa. I see it all the time where I live among foreign couples. Feminine beauty is paired with very masculine men, whereas the closer you get to the middle, the more toned down their respective gender identity becomes. That is not to say that the rest are somehow not masculine or feminine, but they possess less of it than their counterparts.

I agree with above....it goes hand in hand with attractive people hanging out with other attractive people. The old "birds of a feather, flock together" idea....

 

But honestly, I know that my level of "machoness" isn't as high as, say, ALPHAMALE'S

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by amerikajin

Hey, summerrae, clean out your PM box, will ya?

 

done...... what a SMALL mailbox. Don't they know I never delete anything??

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by amerikajin

I’m waiting to see what happens as I don’t want to be shallow, but I can’t help it. I want to find the person sexy…

Actually, this is what I refer to as the game of "romantic black jack." We're always grabbing that last card, hoping we don't go bust.

 

I think there are two types of people in romance:

 

a) Those who hold out for what they want

b) Those who settle for something they think they can live with.

 

What's funny is that I've seen both types of people succeed and fail in marriages. Sometimes, people hold out for what they want and live happily ever after; others in this category fail, and the reason they fail is because people change. Those in group A don't handle the changes as well as those in group B.

 

Yes, I'd def. say I'm type (a) and yet I keep trying to be a type (b)... until the second date and they annoy me so much that I have to cancel for whatever-fill-in-the-blank reason.

 

I think I'm becoming the one-date wonder. Fortunately for me, most of these guys are too wrapped up in themselves to make me feel bad about it. Yes, ALPHAMALE (in case you're reading this) I'm sure they're out for one thing.

 

So this latest man comes along and he's so interested in my mind and actually LISTENS to what I'm saying and when he talks I even notice that my eyes are not glazing over, and I'm like, "maybe I need to give him a chance, he is interesting, he's just not my usual choice, which could turn out to be a good thing!"

 

BUT I can't settle. And I'm still ultimately in recovery mode because I'm still comparing THIS to the feelings I've had in the past.

 

My therapist says I need to give it a chance to grow. (Yes, I'm seeing an analyst... not sure if it's helping as the more I learn, the less I understand things, all the theories just confuse me more! )

 

N e who... to respond to the other threads...

[amerikajin]

BUT I can't settle. And I'm still ultimately in recovery mode because I'm still comparing THIS to the feelings I've had in the past

 

By any chance, are you in your 20s?

 

I know women start settling more frequently when they hit their thirties. Now don't get me wrong - I think women actually hit their prime in their 30s and even their 40s, but there's still the social stigma attached that if you're over thirty and not married, you'd better hurry it up. Consequently, the dating leverage, which favors women up to the age of 30, tilts the other way over 30.

 

Well...usually. I mean, this woman is hot and I know she knows it - a real knockout. The other thing I guess I'm attracted to is that she seems so composed, like she's not phased by anything. She's definitely in control of herself, her emotions and thoughts, and that's sooooooooo sexy when coupled with her natural feminine beauty - and the fact that at her age she can have multiple orgasms (yowwwwieeeee!!!!)

[shamen]

Originally posted by amerikajin

BUT I can't settle. And I'm still ultimately in recovery mode because I'm still comparing THIS to the feelings I've had in the past

 

By any chance, are you in your 20s?

 

I know women start settling more frequently when they hit their thirties. Now don't get me wrong - I think women actually hit their prime in their 30s and even their 40s, but there's still the social stigma attached that if you're over thirty and not married, you'd better hurry it up. Consequently, the dating leverage, which favors women up to the age of 30, tilts the other way over 30.

 

This has been a very interesting thread. I'm 36, still haven't settled. I've definitely been person A, but I was almost person B. Had a very unfun relationship that lasted over 4 years. Finally made it out and I'm really not that worried about being as old as I am and not married. Been asked 4 times and I just wasn't into it.

 

It'd be great to meet someone who I could stand longer than a few years, but most of the time I just get bored or they annoy me. I've decided at this point that I am a serial monogamist. Men in RL tend to be intimidated by me. (Interesting that you talked about dominants vs. submissives: my last (short lived) beau was way too emotional for me to deal with!) I like to be challenged and I do like strong men. Not necessarily physical strong (I like 'em SKINNY), but emotionally and intellectually strong. Too many men are freaked out when I end up saying exactly what I'm thinking all of the time.

 

I'm also really feeling selfish right now. That's totally awful, I know. Maybe part of this not being worried about being in a relationship is fear for me too. The thought of compromise, ack! Compromising who and what I want to be so I can be with someone else. Not real interested. Hell, I just broke up with this 4 year long relationship guy 6 months ago!

 

So, yes, Amerikajin, it's rare indeed. I have yet to meet a man that I've been attracted to on every level, spirtually, emotionally, sexually, who could be a SOUL mate (not sole, as in foot). If I meet him, great. If not, I'll continue to be a serial monogamist.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by amerikajin

BUT I can't settle. And I'm still ultimately in recovery mode because I'm still comparing THIS to the feelings I've had in the past

 

By any chance, are you in your 20s?

 

I know women start settling more frequently when they hit their thirties. Now don't get me wrong - I think women actually hit their prime in their 30s and even their 40s, but there's still the social stigma attached that if you're over thirty and not married, you'd better hurry it up. Consequently, the dating leverage, which favors women up to the age of 30, tilts the other way over 30.

 

I’m in my mid (soon to be late) 20s. I don’t feel the pressure of age yet, but then I also have lots of friends who are in their 30s and I can see how that happens. Biologically and society-wise.