Has you ever made the same mistake more than once?

[bisquick]

I recently was dating an awesome person and long story short, I wrecked my chances with them and turned them off completely. It's unfixable, trust me.

 

If this mistake was something I had never learned about before, I'd just say "I just didn't know any better, but now I know, no big deal." But unfortunately, I did learn this lesson in the past, but forgot to apply it to my life and really practice the lesson I learned. As a result I ended up ruining it with this person because I repeated the same mistake twice.

 

I'm incessantly telling myself that I deserved it and that I am now missing out on this amazing person because of it.

 

Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Please tell me I'm not the only one. I want to know that there are others who have experienced making the same mistake more than once and feeling that they missed out on a great opportunity.

[slowloris44]

I feel it . I would say that yes and no . I am currently getting over a BU from my ex that dumped me twice and I dumped him once prior to that. The only mistake I feel that I made was being immature that time I broke up with him. If you want you can check out my thread. Its hard to face the truth that you could have handled things differently but also its never completely your fault...as many tell me. I only had the tools in my mind to handle that situation at that time but now I know and I am learning. And so are you. And so is your ex and my ex . I like to think that we all regret things. Does my ex regret breaking up with me twice over a span of four months ? maybe . I don't know but I too deal with regret for feeling like I had not done enough to keep him. It hurts when someone tells you that they don't see the next 72 years with you and then the next time they leave you they say they don't see the next 5 years with you. Its a huge blow to the ego. But also remember their perception of you is a reflection of themselves . I felt like I missed out on a great guy but then again I think about what I tolerated and it wasn't that great. No ones perfect. Try not to put the full blame on yourself because that can be veryyyyyy dangerous...I'm telling you this because that's the state I'm climbing out of right now.

[josi334]

Hi Bisquick

 

I much sympathize with you because I feel the same way. It is really hard for me to meet a guy whom a like/feel a connection with... and I go on a lot of dates. This summer/fall I met two guys whom I liked. The first one we had an on/off relationship for 4 months and I see now I made a lot of mistakes. Not that he was perfect, not at all but I really liked him and it seemed he enjoyed being with me too but he was kind slow and I kind tried to push it, so in the end I had to let him go because I was just getting frustrated but I blame on me a lot for not being more patient with him, play a little harder to get/be more mature. I felt I ruined for both of us.

 

Then I met this other guy who seemed very into me. He was reaching out each other day, asking to call me. We had great conversations over the phone. I really enjoyed talking to him. We would talk for 2-3 hrs. We went on 3 nice dates but the last one was the one I know I messed up. I had some alcohol and said/did some things I know that probably put him off. I described to male friend the things I said/did and he said that they immature and I acted too comfortable. He texted me a little after that and said he would call but didn't call. I then messed up even further and reached out to him. He replied and made up some BS excuses and lied and asked to call me. He did call and I took his call but I could feel he was not the same with me and then after that I never heard from him. So I am really bummed now.

 

I feel your pain! The frustrating thing is that I see now the mistakes I made now and I think next time I'll tried harder not to make them but then I slip back when I meet someone I like.

 

Sometimes I feel hopeless with myself but I know I have great qualities and I have a lot to offer to someone. I just need to let them to really get to know me!

 

Good luck to us! I have great hopes that Ill make it work with someone someday!

[books2]

It's hard to really help guide you without knowing much about your repeated mistakes.

 

However, I know that sometimes, we can understand something intellectually, but when given our emotions at a certain point, we can completely forget to act how we understand we should at a certain time.

 

I don't think I'm usually the type to repeat mistakes over after I learned the lessons, but whenever it would or could happen it's 100% driven by my emotions making me act on impulse!

 

I would say focus on getting your emotion under control for the future.

 

Good luck