My ex came back but...

[CJDJ6963]

So after applying NC with my ex for about 2/3 weeks, I get a drunk text from her on a Saturday night. I was out with friends and was also drunk. I had her on mute on my phone so it wasn't until one of my friends text me that I saw her message. She asked to quickly speak to me. I agreed and walked towards the bar she was at and she met me halfway. She started getting hysterical telling me how much she misses me and how big of a mistake it was breaking things off. She thought I didn't care anymore etc.

One thing led to another and we're having sex back at mine. Crazy drunken sex? We must've gone about 2 hours and we told each other we loved each other at several points.

The next day came and she text me to let me know that the night before happened for a reason and we shouldn't just label it has drunken ex sex.

I suggested we meet and she agreed. She was smiling and happy to see me etc so after having a bit of fun I kissed her and well we had sex again, sober.

A few days past after that and she text me again saying that she misses me and wanted to see me again. We arranged for me to go to hers on our days off and we immediately got into bed (she has major depression disorder and had a really bad day the day before so I said I'd stay in bed with her all day). We, again, had sex but we also had a chat about everything. She was annoyed that there were signs of me speaking to other girls when my phone was going off throughout the day and I didn't say much because even she said she has no right to be mad. She calmed down and said "you can do what you want because we're not together". After talking some more she explained to me that she didn't want anyone else and wasn't speaking to anyone else but she wasn't keen on the idea of a relationship. She told me if she was to get into a relationship it would be with me but if not, she wouldn't get into one for ages. She tells me she loves me and that she won't get with anyone else.

I didn't tell her but I have other girls that are clearly interested in me but if I'm being honest with myself - I am very much in love with my ex and want to be with her but I feel there's something else going on? I don't know if I should believe it's because of her depression or I'm getting played?

[Been]

If you feel it in your gut that something is going on chances are something indeed is going on.

[spideywoman]

it sounds like this is a case of "if i can't / won't have him, no one else will."

 

at least she told you she wasn't interested in being in a relationship. what bothers me is that she has actively dragged you into her dilly-dallying _ and you have allowed her to. she is also not allowed to be annoyed at your contact with other women. she's the one who said goodbye to that privilege. i'm sure the sex is great and all, but there's too much of it going on, drunken or otherwise, for there to be significant progress toward reconciliation. this is a time for reflection and communication. you split up for a reason. have those been dealt with, addressed?

 

i understand where you're coming from and that you must have deep feelings for this girl. i have been there. right now, though, while she may not be "playing" you actively there's an element of selfishness on her part. give her more time to deal with her own issues. if she comes back later, and you're willing, then reassess. right now, the cards aren't stacking up for a healthy reunion.

 

stay strong.