Concerned about quality of communication?

[Ilovelifeforwhatcome]

So just wondering if I'm being overly anxious or anything. My boyfriend and I long distance and we FB vid chatted for about an hour. He told me he needed to get to bed, so we ended the chat, he sent me some heart emojis. I posted something on his FB (an article he would enjoy) wall and later I noticed he posted twice on FB after telling me he had to go to bed, he didn't respond to my post. He has never done this before and I wonder if he was lying just to end the chat, he did end up posting he is having a hard time going to bed though. Usually if he needs to do something w/friends, he lets me know that he has to go.

Edited December 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
merged 3 threads ~6

[MidwestUSA]

You had an hour video chat. He was tired. He laid in bed with Facebook trying to get to sleep. Maybe it helps him nod off, whereas he'd have to remain alert and engaging in a video chat with you.

 

You're way overthinking this.

[Els]

I read your LDR forum threads...

 

This particular occasion is really not an issue, but your overall relationship is concerning. Has he bought his flight tickets yet???

[umirano]

You wouldn't have known if he'd read a book instead or watched a movie. I've been annoyed at long meaningless phone calls with gf. I think it's polite to let the other person go after an hour and not give them a hard time over what they're doing with their private time.

 

Skype / calls are great to catch up but at some point it becomes a duty and that's unattractive. I'm not going away while we're not on the phone. Let's go to bed, live another day and then we'll have something new to talk about.

[eightytwenty]

He was most likely tired when he got off the call, after telling you he was tired. Was looking at fb ( I do before I got to sleep also) and he saw you post something on his wall. he just saying he would look at it later because he didn't feel like it because he was going to sleep..

 

 

thinking too much into it right now girl.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I often tell my boyfriend that I am off to bed and wish him good night and then spend 1-2 hours online or just watching movies/reading. The truth is, I need the space to just be by myself. He sometimes does the same, it doesn't bother me in the least. I would find it exhausting if I had to talk right up until the minute I fell asleep.

[Ilovelifeforwhatcome]

I read your LDR forum threads...

 

This particular occasion is really not an issue, but your overall relationship is concerning. Has he bought his flight tickets yet???

 

No he hasn't, which is why these things make me wary. He is getting the money together, but time is drawing close. I guess I will doubting everything until he actually buys the tickets.

 

The other day, his lack of communication really got to me after he forgot to call me. He was like this from the very start and I thought I could adjust to his communication style, but I couldn't. I was done w/hinting and I let him know how I really felt. He was understanding and now we are working on better communication. He never gets mad or upset when I stress out, he listens. I told him he couldn't be lazy w/me or I would lose interest.

 

I have been hurt so many times by friends and guys that I really doubt people until they show me they are trustworthy.

[kendahke]

I wonder if he was lying just to end the chat, he did end up posting he is having a hard time going to bed though. Usually if he needs to do something w/friends, he lets me know that he has to go.

 

when you asked him if he was lying to you just to end the chat, what did he say?

[joseb]

How much time have you spent together? I don't mean online. In real life.

[Els]

No he hasn't, which is why these things make me wary. He is getting the money together, but time is drawing close. I guess I will doubting everything until he actually buys the tickets.

 

The other day, his lack of communication really got to me after he forgot to call me. He was like this from the very start and I thought I could adjust to his communication style, but I couldn't. I was done w/hinting and I let him know how I really felt. He was understanding and now we are working on better communication. He never gets mad or upset when I stress out, he listens. I told him he couldn't be lazy w/me or I would lose interest.

 

I have been hurt so many times by friends and guys that I really doubt people until they show me they are trustworthy.

 

I would be wary too in your position, but you need to pick your battles. If you are unhappy about something, ask yourself what the root issue is. In this case, his behaviour was fine but you are unhappy in general due to his lack of effort in other areas. So address the other areas instead.

 

Wasn't the visit planned for 'the end of this year'? If he doesn't show up as planned, I would strongly recommend that you reconsider this R.

[Gaeta]

I remember chatting online and telling the person I had to go to bed, and I did want to go to bed. Then like at the same time I get a message from a friend so I respond quickly just to be polite, then my mother sees me online and wants to know this and that...finally 30 minutes later the guy I said good night to sends me a message: Didn't you say you were going to bed?

 

C'mon!

 

So don't be like that. It's a big turn off.

[Mystique01]

I think you're way over thinking this right now...

 

Unless you have other signs of him doing other things that you deem concerning, I think you're taking things a little too seriously...

[basil67]

I have been hurt so many times by friends and guys that I really doubt people until they show me they are trustworthy.

 

I suspect that your own actions are playing a big part in this. It's really important to know when to walk away from a friendship or relationship which isn't working. Or if it's not healthy. It's important to know where to draw your personal boundaries.

 

If you stick to a bad friendship or relationship trying to make it work, you WILL get hurt. It's a given.