tfths Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 I have been dating my BF for almost a year now, and we just moved in together for about 3 months. He went to a Halloween party couple weeks ago, and it's also a high school reunion for him. He used to party a lot, but hasn't done much since we moved in together. I am never a party person, so he went there by himself. The next morning, when he was sober, he started to say how we should have a family right away, and he wants children, and he wants to buy baby stuff. When he was ready to go for a shower, that's when I noticed the makeup on his collar and on his neck. I can understand the makeup on his collar, but not neck. He said that I should trust him and he didn't do anything with any one. But the sudden change of attitude after the party is a bit suspicious. My question is did he cheat at the party? Why was there makeup on his neck, why out of sudden after the party, he is more mature, and want to have children right away? Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 It does seem a bit suspicious... like he is trying to make up for his guilt. Can you explain what the makeup on his neck looked like? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 I'd tread lightly here. It was a halloween party and people use costume makeup which smears easily. Even someone just giving him a hug hello or goodbye could transfer the makeup . . . think about hugs . . . your necks are sometimes pretty close. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 I have been dating my BF for almost a year now, and we just moved in together for about 3 months. He went to a Halloween party couple weeks ago, and it's also a high school reunion for him. He used to party a lot, but hasn't done much since we moved in together. I am never a party person, so he went there by himself. The next morning, when he was sober, he started to say how we should have a family right away, and he wants children, and he wants to buy baby stuff. When he was ready to go for a shower, that's when I noticed the makeup on his collar and on his neck. I can understand the makeup on his collar, but not neck. He said that I should trust him and he didn't do anything with any one. But the sudden change of attitude after the party is a bit suspicious. My question is did he cheat at the party? Why was there makeup on his neck, why out of sudden after the party, he is more mature, and want to have children right away? The baby stuff seems strange.... Honestly, since you just moved in together.. that is a big step. How about feeling out the waters of the dynamics of living together.. do you want a child with this man? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tfths Posted November 9, 2016 Author Share Posted November 9, 2016 I'd tread lightly here. It was a halloween party and people use costume makeup which smears easily. Even someone just giving him a hug hello or goodbye could transfer the makeup . . . think about hugs . . . your necks are sometimes pretty close. It looks more like a lipstick on the neck... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tfths Posted November 9, 2016 Author Share Posted November 9, 2016 The baby stuff seems strange.... Honestly, since you just moved in together.. that is a big step. How about feeling out the waters of the dynamics of living together.. do you want a child with this man? At first it was a bit weird cause it's pretty new to me, and I did thought about having kids with him, but just after the party, he became a bit more mature, and started to take on more responsibility now in the last two weeks after the party, so I don't know what has changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 At first it was a bit weird cause it's pretty new to me, and I did thought about having kids with him, but just after the party, he became a bit more mature, and started to take on more responsibility now in the last two weeks after the party, so I don't know what has changed. Maybe the reunion open his eyes to ppl moving on and having families... But still strange in my opinion..unless that's his personality trait.. you know when he sees something he gets overly excited. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 it was a Halloween party where people are in costume, wearing makeup, drinking having a good time. He was there with people he hasn't seen in awhile, it was just like old times, reminiscing, lots of hugs from old friends.....you are over reacting about the makeup. I agree with the other poster, I'm sure there were a few showing off photos of their babies, introduced to their wives and husbands, etc. Someone may have asked if he was ever going to get married and have kids, or what was taking him so long, etc. I don't see anything negative, or anything to worry about. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tfths Posted November 9, 2016 Author Share Posted November 9, 2016 it was a Halloween party where people are in costume, wearing makeup, drinking having a good time. He was there with people he hasn't seen in awhile, it was just like old times, reminiscing, lots of hugs from old friends.....you are over reacting about the makeup. I agree with the other poster, I'm sure there were a few showing off photos of their babies, introduced to their wives and husbands, etc. Someone may have asked if he was ever going to get married and have kids, or what was taking him so long, etc. I don't see anything negative, or anything to worry about. Thank you for your suggestion! thanks a lot! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LolaLola88 Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 Go with your intuition or gut feeling or whatever you want to call it. If it is telling you something is off, something is off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Just my advice.....no babies until there's a ring on your finger and your are Mrs______. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Question: Do you plan or would you like to get married to this guy or do you plan on just living together? Link to post Share on other sites
gorf Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 At first it was a bit weird cause it's pretty new to me, and I did thought about having kids with him, but just after the party, he became a bit more mature, and started to take on more responsibility now in the last two weeks after the party, so I don't know what has changed. Well you did say it was a reunion. Meaning.. he's meeting up with old friends. Like bum friends, the funny get nothing done friends, the popular and looser friends. And he is stepping back at the reunion and seeing some people he was friends with, some he would never even think, are having kids and starting family. So it took him for surprise that the kid who was a goof off flipping desks in school and getting nothing done actually has an ok job and is starting a family. Maybe that? As for the makeup, I wouldn't read too into it. Such a small 'clue' like what are you really going to be able to say to him without sounding massively insecure. As another mentioned, its a Halloween party. There is makeup everywhere. In the end, you were not there, and he isn't probably going to 'admit' anything if that is what you are hoping, so thats what it comes down to. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 I have been dating my BF for almost a year now, and we just moved in together for about 3 months. He went to a Halloween party couple weeks ago, and it's also a high school reunion for him. He used to party a lot, but hasn't done much since we moved in together. I am never a party person, so he went there by himself. The next morning, when he was sober, he started to say how we should have a family right away, and he wants children, and he wants to buy baby stuff. When he was ready to go for a shower, that's when I noticed the makeup on his collar and on his neck. I can understand the makeup on his collar, but not neck. He said that I should trust him and he didn't do anything with any one. But the sudden change of attitude after the party is a bit suspicious. My question is did he cheat at the party? Why was there makeup on his neck, why out of sudden after the party, he is more mature, and want to have children right away? He was talking that Family stuff out of pure guilt to try to deflect in his own mind how he could look at you with a straight face and not come clean with you. It resembles the common criminal who breaks into a store and leaves fingerprints all over and then runs home and tells his family that they ll have to leave town right now because he is just sick of this town and there just has to be a better future somewhere else, so "pack your bags, we're leaving tonight". I have a lot of experience in wanting to leave town to run away from my problems, and deflecting because of guilt because I, myself, am a criminal. So again, I know what I speak of. lol I am afraid he will probably end up having a blow out moment when he can't stand the thought of you finding out and he will just blurt something out about it and unwittingly give himself up. It is stock in trade for the guilty, who have regret, but not remorse. This one is a no brainer. If I were you I'd get an STD test. When guys act like that usually they haven't used protection. A drunken or high romp at a HS reunion would not have gone protected unless he either carried a condom in his wallet or made a bee line for a gas station and a Fifty cent Sperm leaker in the men's bathroom. Sorry, but he banged somebody. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sequitur328 Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 I can not tell you if your BF was cheating, nor can I think of why he is suddenly mature and wanting a family. I do, however, think that you should seek honesty in your relationship, which it sounds like you are doing. I encourage you to seek out healthy relationships. God Bless. Link to post Share on other sites
acsentu8 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 The next morning, when he was sober, he started to say how we should have a family right away, and he wants children, and he wants to buy baby stuff. My now ex-boyfriend did this to me once, and I found it very odd and out of place. Scenario: Friday night, I don't hear anything from him. I go to bed worried and wondering. Saturday morning, my intuition says something is wrong, so I text him and said "Wild night, eh?". He then replies with a "Do you want to get married?" Red Flag. Period. It shocked me so much that he'd throw that out there, but it made me revert to my mushy gushy okay I forgive you with whatever you did mentality. That's what he was digging for and he won. And I never brought it up again. He wins again! I swept the weirdness under the rug and he got some strange. It sucks, but I wouldn't say or pinpoint that Halloween night he cheated on you.....buuuuut. Something is fishy to make him try to revert your discovery of the lipstick. Maybe he was nervous and it was absolutely nothing that he did wrong, and he's so scared to lose you he just blurted out about starting a family so you will not flip out and leave him. But unfortunately, the percentage is high that something happened (at anytime during your relationship, not just at that party) for him to react in that manner. Guilty always tries to find a way out of the confrontation and re-form into a completely different topic. Link to post Share on other sites
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