Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 My husband and i have been together for 3 years we just got married june 18 2016 and since we got married we have probably had sex maybe 6 times but i find porn on the phone all the time. I have tried so many things like rubing on him dressing sexy and many others and all he says is im to tired. I dont know what to do i kinda feel like he aint attracted to me anymore bit i havent changed anything. Idk what to do, some help please Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 What kind of porn? Maybe he has some fetish he's embarrassed to try with you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 Its just girls masterbating. His excuse this morning was i was asleep but its been 2 months since we done anything. Another excuse is he is tired from the kind of work he dose Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 I’m so sorry about this. Porn addiction is a serious concern affecting so many marriages. I would suggest that you and your husband seek professional counselling together. Sending you hugs and prayers. Take care! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 You know at the beginning when it was all fun and new and you couldn't keep your hands off each other? Maybe try going back to that if it's possible. Have you considered a night out with drinks and or a meal etc, a proper date night to get some of the romance back? Just an idea but a romantic meal and flirting with each other, add in a few drinks and it might just make for a night that changes things. Make an effort, buy a gorgeous dress, make sure he makes an effort too and it might just bring some spark back. Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Its just girls masterbating. His excuse this morning was i was asleep but its been 2 months since we done anything. Another excuse is he is tired from the kind of work he dose Without being too crude, and I hope this is an acceptable comment in this forum but for one thing at least he's not been watching anything really outrageous and maybe, if you haven't already, give him a show of you doing that if that's what floats his boat. Can't be many men in the world who wouldn't enjoy watching their partner doing that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Have you asked for marriage counselling? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 I have tried the whole put on a show thing and he just laughs I've even tried putting on something sexy and trying to seduce him and he just tells me to stop and at that point my feelings are hurt I'm embarrassed and I'm thinking what's wrong with me. I've even got naked and stood in front of the TV and he told me to move. I really don't have a problem with porn at all. But when he's looking at it laying right next to me it makes me feel like I'm not enough or I'm not what you want. I never asked him about counseling he said he is not talking to someone about that. And I've also asked about dates he would rather go see other people and spend time with other people then to spend time just me and him and in some ways I feel like the only reason why he wants me to go then it's because I'm the driver. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 So if he has no interest in you as a romantic partner, why do you stay? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Without being too crude, and I hope this is an acceptable comment in this forum but for one thing at least he's not been watching anything really outrageous and maybe, if you haven't already, give him a show of you doing that if that's what floats his boat. Can't be many men in the world who wouldn't enjoy watching their partner doing that. Why should someone have to try and be more like a porno to get their husband to want them. This is what porn does. It effects the brain and makes it harder for some of those who watch a lot of it to become aroused and be able to engage with a real person. How was the sex before marriage? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 Some how i feel that he has falling out of love with me.or just useing me to drive him around... some one please help me tell me what i can do to save my marrage. He loved me so much. And now its like im not even here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 Sex was great befor marrage. I just dont know what happened Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 (edited) Why should someone have to try and be more like a porno to get their husband to want them. This is what porn does. It effects the brain and makes it harder for some of those who watch a lot of it to become aroused and be able to engage with a real person. How was the sex before marriage? Please understand I don't at all feel like anyone should have to do something they don't want to or feel uncomfortable with or try and replicate the horrible false garbage that is porn. All I meant was that it's hardly unusual for a couple to enjoy watching each other but as it seems in this case things have hit rock bottom. I know how it feels to be rejected in the bedroom and it stings like hell. In some ways it's the ultimate rejection. Camogirl, have there been any major incidents that could have triggered this for him? Lost job maybe or a death or illness in the family or, and this is possible, does he have a physical issue or is worried about being able to be sexually active with you (ie basically is there a chance he's worried about being able to perform to put it bluntly). When my relationship with my ex wife was at it's worst on the rare occasions she did want sex I found it difficult because the relationship as a whole was in such a bad way. Edited November 10, 2016 by Pete2304 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 Nothing has changed and if he can jack off when looking at other woman then why cant he have sex with me. I just feel like he should have said something befor we got married. Really its not all about the sex he dont even kiss me anymore i try to snuggle and he pulls away.. there has to be something wrong i just dont know how to fix it. All i know is i want the man back that loved me with every bone in his body. Not i dont even hear those words... Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Nothing has changed and if he can jack off when looking at other woman then why cant he have sex with me. I just feel like he should have said something befor we got married. Really its not all about the sex he dont even kiss me anymore i try to snuggle and he pulls away.. there has to be something wrong i just dont know how to fix it. All i know is i want the man back that loved me with every bone in his body. Not i dont even hear those words... Doing it on your own isn't the same and I was able to do that but struggled having sex with her because as much as I wanted to feel the way I used to I knew deep down it wasn't there and she made such a big deal out of wanting it that I panicked. Now in your case it's different because my ex wife made the devil look like a nice person but what worries me is when you say the affection is gone. I'd have traded a million nights of sex just for her to have held my hand walking down the street and I've got to say I think you're in trouble here. It's so sad reading your posts because deep down you know. I hope to god you can do something to fix this but from the outside, I think you've lost him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 Thank you so much your post has helped me out a lot I don't think I'm going to quite give up yet I'm going to absolutely try everything because I love him. And then if it don't work I let him go so he can be happy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Have you asked him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 I'll ask again: Have you suggested marriage counselling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 Yes i have ask him he said he aint talking to people he dont know about that Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Good luck, I genuinely mean that. Stranger things have happened. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Think of porn as another woman. what would you do if he spent all his time and energies with another woman and left you out in the cold and didn't want to be with you? what would you do if he only wanted to be with the other woman and not with you? Think of what you would do. .....then do that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 I have tried the whole put on a show thing and he just laughs I've even tried putting on something sexy and trying to seduce him and he just tells me to stop and at that point my feelings are hurt I'm embarrassed and I'm thinking what's wrong with me. I've even got naked and stood in front of the TV and he told me to move. I really don't have a problem with porn at all. But when he's looking at it laying right next to me it makes me feel like I'm not enough or I'm not what you want. I never asked him about counseling he said he is not talking to someone about that. And I've also asked about dates he would rather go see other people and spend time with other people then to spend time just me and him and in some ways I feel like the only reason why he wants me to go then it's because I'm the driver. Ok wow I could have written that about my last M almost word for word. Your H has ISSUES! I didn't know H was a porn addict but he is. He ALSO came from a hyper (hypo? Lol) Anyway EXTREMELY Religious family and he developed a "Madonna / whore" complex about me AFTER we had children which was the beginning of our M. EXWH mother was a nun until she met her future H and then only wanted sex to conceive. I guess he expected me to be like her THEN turn a blind eye to WH affairs. 3 years out and NO kids? RUN FOR THE HILLS! Easier said than done I know. But your H is ridiculing YOUR ATTEMPTS TO SAVE YOUR M doing things HE LOOKS AT ONLINE I mean WHO'S THE CLOWN here? Him. Not you. I'm sorry but IMHO once a guy's hooked on porn in M and not MORE hooked on having sex with you for both of your pleasures then this is very ill M because HE is an addict and you may as well look up "living with an addict" better still look up "escaping a relationship with an addict". There are QUITE A FEW REALLY GREAT men out there! Men who would LOVE a gf or wife who wanted to have sex lol. It's not only an expectation of men in M but it's also an expectation for healthy women in M too. I think his denial of sex with you is a form of withholding affection. Passive aggressive. He has issues obviously. Good luck! Lion Heart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 13, 2016 Author Share Posted November 13, 2016 Thank yall Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camogirl21 Posted November 13, 2016 Author Share Posted November 13, 2016 Just an update things aint getting any better this morning he woke me up wanting a blow job so i give him one thinking i was going to get lucky but oh ne he go what he wanted then walked out side didnt say one thing to me... im so comfused like really i need to know what is wrong with me like what have i done wrong. We have only been married 4 month i really dont wanna get devorced now but i also dont wanna live the rest of my life feeling so unwanted and so un loved. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 camogirl, he woke me up wanting a blow job so i give him one thinking i was going to get lucky but oh ne he go what he wanted then walked out side didnt say one thing to me. Your husband is an ignorant, selfish POS. im so comfused like really i need to know what is wrong with me like what have i done wrong. You picked the wrong guy. i really dont wanna get devorced now but i also dont wanna live the rest of my life feeling so unwanted and so un loved. Well, you have two choices here and they are both $h!££y, but you still have a choice. My advice would be to dump this loser and spend some time on your own working out what your standards and boundaries are, and why you feel it's OK for a man to disrespect you. Good luck x Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts