Is my gf lying about rape & is it all my fault?

[undergroundjack]

Hello

 

I'm going to tell the whole story here. I've been together with an amazing girl for like 4 years. We love each other a lot. We travel around the world and have sworn that that we would always be honest with each other. I am the only bedpartner that she has had. She has lost her little brother due cancer 6 years ago.

 

Now a month ago I made a stupid mistake which I regret a lot. After a night out a girl couldn't get home so I told her she could crash at my place. We were both very drunk (no excuse) and suddenly we are in the same bed. Some things took place but after 2 min or so I felt extremely guilty and bad that I stopped with everything. The next day I told my gf everything. She was heartbroken but she wanted to stay with me and we would figure it out together. A week later it was the birthday of her little brother who died cause of cancer. So at this point she was very emotionally broken. Now again a week later her and my parent (we both still live at home, we are around 21 years old) went both on vacation. This meant I couldn't see her a lot because I need to take care of our pets and needed to work. This means she was alone with all her thoughts. In this period, she started to talk very seriously about suicide and she start talking walks in the middle of the night to clear her mind. She felts like I didn't care about her anymore.

 

So 1 night she received a random snapchat from her old bf (when she was 14 or so). At this moment my gf was talking a nightly walk. I know they actually never talk (I have access to all her social media and sometimes I check). After a couple of snapchats she sends her address. She told me she didn't wanted to do anything with him, she just wanted to talk with someone and not be alone. She just thought that maybe he could distract her from all her bad thoughts. Now this is my gf story. So this guy comes to her house, they talk for like 15 min. Than this guy comes closer and start kissing my gf very brute. He is holding his hand very strong on the back of her head. Then he climbs on her and is holding her very brute. My gf says that for the first 10 seconds she didn't realize what happened and went along. After that she starts saying that he need to stop and start trying to get out. Now he gets her Nike shorts off and then they would have had sex for some minutes before she got out.

 

The day after she came to me and told me that something had happened. She was shaking very heavily. The first three days she said that everything was her fault. That she had an emotional weak moment. But then I start asking more questing and she start telling me things like "He was holding me very strong", "he was brute", "He didn’t stop when I told him to stop", "He didn’t let go off me", "he went lying on my left arm (the arm she used to hold her shorts up”. Now after a week the story changes. I wasn’t mad on her so I don’t know why she would change the story. Maybe she felt guilty because I wasn’t really good with coping with it. So she tells me that she had been looking on the internet and understood that she was actually raped. It was confusing for her because it was actually a friend from a long time ago and he has always been nice to her. She also invited him over herself, so she had some kind of mindset that was the one who did this.

 

I am not mad at her because everybody makes mistakes. I feel disappointed that she starts messaging at him when she feels broke and not at me (she was mad at me at the time probably.). The thing is that I can’t cope with the fact that she is or feels raped. I’m actually losing my mind. I can’t sleep, I’m getting angrier at this guy by the day. The thing is that this guy is living like 3km from my places and is telling his gf (yes he had a gf) and his friends that actually my gf wanted this. I actually believe my gf at the moment about what happened…

 

She lost like 12kg in 2 days, she has panic attacks... Yesterday I putted my hand on the back of her head and she start getting very scary and panicking. So I guess she is raped or she felt very guilty about what she did... Especially when I putted my hand on the back or head, she started to cry immediately. Isn’t this a sign that she has been traumatized?

 

The thing is that I have cheated a couple of weeks before on her. Maybe she wanted to pay me back? Maybe she was so depressed she didn’t care about anything anymore and just wanted to have some fun with this guy? Maybe she missed to very old times when she was 15 with this guy? This guy also really likes my gf, I hear of his friends that he talk about her regularly that my gf is the girl of his dreams… Maybe he just couldn’t stop because he was finally able to do something with my gf? My gf is also pretty handsome.

 

At this moment she wants to meet up with him in private in her car (when I am close). She wants to talk with him and let him confess what he did to her and then secretly tape it. She actually really doesn’t want do this but she thinks she have to because otherwise nobody will ever really believe her. I tell her that I believe her but secretly I also have some doubts. In case he would confess she would go straight to the police with it.

 

I feel like everything is my fault. If I didn’t take that girl home she wouldn’t be so depressed and wouldn’t had a weak moment.

 

This stupid website also confuses me a lot.

3 Signs She?s Making A False Rape Accusation

There was no evidence of a struggle, she invited him home and she didn’t went straight to the cops…

But on the other hand she sworn on her little brother (she just did it out of herself..) that she is telling the complete truth. She also never really lied to me before. This guy also doesn’t answer to me of my gf’s messages or calls (which aren’t aggressive, I just ask for an explanation). Only if my gf sends something about the cops he is really fast to react. I know for a fact that my gf liked this guy a lot in the past and that she doesn’t think he’s ugly..

 

So what do you guys think about this story? Is it all my fault?

In case he would admit it to my gf and she record it. What should I do with all my anger?

 

I’m not a native English speaker but I did my best..

[Mr Scorpio]

So what do you guys think about this story? Is it all my fault?

In case he would admit it to my gf and she record it. What should I do with all my anger?

 

I think the story is terrible. I feel sad for you and your girlfriend. It is not your fault. Your mistake did not give him permission to do what he did. You should exercise with your anger. Do not give in.

 

I’m not a native English speaker but I did my best..

 

You did very well.