why would a guy just leave without even telling me what's going on? I really want answers

[guest]

I made the mistake of dating a coworker. So please don't mention anything about dating in the workplace because now i know better.

 

anyway, we have been friends and both of us have liked each other for a while before we started dating. We dated for about a month before he "disappeared" on me. At first I thought certain circumstances (i'm not going to go into detail about it) prevented him from going out with me but after all had passed he still wouldn't ask me out. So one friday I asked him if he wanted to have dinner after work, he agreed to it but when I called him to go out, he did not pick up my phone call nor did he ever return it. When i saw him at work the following week he did not even acknowledge I called him. So I tried cutting off communication unless it was strictly business. However he keeps making the effort to talk to me. He will ask me about what is going on in my life and what I did over the weekend, etc. He acts as if nothing happened. I don't know how to deal with this because I still like him a lot so when he starts talking to me, I'll respond. I feel like there are so many questions I want answered from him but I feel like I don't even have the chance to ask because he won't go out with me.

 

I don't know what to do. I don't want to bring any of this up at work, it just seems so inappropriate yet I am soooo tempted to because it's just eating me up inside. Should I even attempt to ask him out again just so I can get some answers? And why would a guy just leave without even telling me what's going on especially since we've been friends for so long. Don't i deserve an explanation at least?

[Merin]

Yes you do deserve an explanation BUT I doubt you're going to get one...

 

Sounds to me that this Guy flaked out.. I don't know how often the 2 of you were seeing one another in the Month you dated, or if the 2 of you were intimate, or even if other co-workers knew about the 2 of you dating (a lot of places have a rule against dating in the work place)

 

However this Guy has decided he doesn't want to date you any longer but instead of telling you that, he flaked out and decided to say nothing probably out of fear of confrontation and having to explain himself.

 

Who knows why he flaked.. bottomline is IMO it would be a mistake to ask him out again. He's already blown you off, he offers zero explanation as to why and my guess is this guy is to afraid to say No when you ask him out so instead he says okay with no intentions of following through...

 

I would move on.