28-yo Virgin; Feel like time is running out

[TopKnot]

You will just be riding the second wave, OP, but there are multiple waves, so don't worry about it.

 

There's the first wave some people date a lot and even get married in their early to mid 20s, then a bunch of them get divorced and are back in the dating world for Round 2 or the second 'wave' along with everyone who hasn't dated a lot and/or married yet. There is yet another wave that comes after that where there are plenty of people nearing or in their middle age years who are back in the dating world.

 

So it's definitely not like you missed your 'chance' as the instinct to mate is extremely powerful and just keeps going and going throughout all of life.

 

As far as being socially and sexually inexperienced, well hey welcome to the club lol. There are millions of people out there with social hurdles, everything from social anxiety problems to depression to issues caused by abuse to things like high functioning autism and beyond. There are millions and millions of us, so it's not like you're some bizarre outcast. A pretty decent chunk of the population blooms later due to various things, it just is what it is. There are plenty of women and men both in it.

 

Sexually, let me tell ya, experience isn't what makes the difference. There are guys out there who have had 10+ partners and they're awful in bed. Experience isn't the determining factor. Having patience and empathy and caring enough to figure out what feels good for your partner, that is what makes the difference, and you can be that sort of person whether you have had 0 partners or 100.

 

Another source of anxiety is my fear of missing out (FOMO) with every passing day that I am not getting better mentally and not taking action. I'm also deeply confused about the current dating market as it seems so competitive, treacherous and frustrating. I haven't even tried yet and it's freaking me out. It's now all I think about.

 

Again, thanks to everyone who has offered words of advice and encouragement. I'm honestly not too discouraged by MJJean's personal distaste and intolerance of virgins as she is only one woman. Until I am rejected consistently for this, I won't stress too much or lie about it. If however what she says is true I may have be less forthcoming when pressed about it in the future. But then again, I have still yet to cross that bridge.

[SJC2008]

Don't do OLD! The rejection rate is 3x+ what it is in real life

[whoareyou]

I understand your pain and fear. I was a virgin until 25. Since then I've had sex with 12 different girls. I recommend becoming involved with self development as much as you can. Also start watching youtube videos on picking up women... this really helped me ("rsdtyler" on youtube). And also start going out to bars and clubs and interacting with women in order to improve your social skills.

 

 

As far as your problem with porn... that probably wont go away until you start having real life sex partners. I've been addicted to internet porn since I was 14 and it didn't go away until I met my friends with benefits. Real sex is a million times better than jacking off and you'll find that out once you meet the right girl. Good luck brother

[TopKnot]

I understand your pain and fear. I was a virgin until 25. Since then I've had sex with 12 different girls. I recommend becoming involved with self development as much as you can. Also start watching youtube videos on picking up women... this really helped me ("rsdtyler" on youtube). And also start going out to bars and clubs and interacting with women in order to improve your social skills.

 

 

As far as your problem with porn... that probably wont go away until you start having real life sex partners. I've been addicted to internet porn since I was 14 and it didn't go away until I met my friends with benefits. Real sex is a million times better than jacking off and you'll find that out once you meet the right girl. Good luck brother

 

Thanks for the advice; I've already been consuming lots of dating advice vids on YouTube (RSD, TNL, SimplePickup, TrippAdvice, etc.), but it all seems impossibly difficult in my current mental state. Where did you start? Did you have wings or did you have the courage to go solo? What was your first sexual experience like at 25?

[whoareyou]

Thanks for the advice; I've already been consuming lots of dating advice vids on YouTube (RSD, TNL, SimplePickup, TrippAdvice, etc.), but it all seems impossibly difficult in my current mental state. Where did you start? Did you have wings or did you have the courage to go solo? What was your first sexual experience like at 25?

 

I started with RSD and that's about the only pickup stuff I really watched. I would go out with a guy from my work who knew nothing at all about pickup. I would just approach girls by myself and he would watch. Approaching was very terrifying because of my social anxiety but I would still do it because I want to grow and develop myself and become more confident. It's all about doing stuff that you're afraid of and stepping out of your comfort zone.

 

My first sexual experience was with a 22 yr old girl I took home from a bar after being involved with pickup for 2 years. I was talking to her for about an hour and eventually asked her if she wanted to watch a movie and cuddle, she said yes. When we got back to my place, after about an hour of cuddling we started kissing and she grabbed my dick and started to blow me. It felt amazing and got me instantly hard. She took off her panties and waited for me to **** her. I didn't know what I was doing so I placed my dick by her vagina and said to her "can you put it in?" She grabbed it and stuck it inside her. Once I was inside her I was thinking "WOW! No wonder guys are so obsessed with sex, this is amazing". It was 100 times better than any porn I'd ever watched, lol.