Struggling with Trial Separation

[abbi_25]

My husband and I married young, he was 20 and I was 23 and had a daughter just one year later. After completing 4 years in the military we moved to my home town together and bought a house this past February. Over the past few months the he has pulled away emotionally from myself and my daughter, lost interest in going out and doing things, and has been blaming me for his problems. I can tell he has had depression for the past couple of years after losing a very close relative to suicide. Instead of seeking counseling he has decided to move back home and is calling it a trial separation. I am now left with our almost 3 year old daughter to take care of by myself while I work full time and take care of the house we bought. I am so hurt and angry. He tells me all the time that he loves and misses me but just "needs time." I don't know how much time I should be giving, and going through this is driving me insane.

[Marc878]

Check your phone bill

[LancasterAmos1966]

My husband and I married young, he was 20 and I was 23 and had a daughter just one year later. After completing 4 years in the military we moved to my home town together and bought a house this past February. Over the past few months the he has pulled away emotionally from myself and my daughter, lost interest in going out and doing things, and has been blaming me for his problems. I can tell he has had depression for the past couple of years after losing a very close relative to suicide. Instead of seeking counseling he has decided to move back home and is calling it a trial separation. I am now left with our almost 3 year old daughter to take care of by myself while I work full time and take care of the house we bought. I am so hurt and angry. He tells me all the time that he loves and misses me but just "needs time." I don't know how much time I should be giving, and going through this is driving me insane.

 

 

Hi Abbi, I'm sorry you are facing this. You are missing your Beloved Spouse --- and that is very normal.

 

It is not fair what he has done to you.

 

Due to my personal convictions, I'm not able to suggest filing divorce. I can suggest that you learn to live without him, because you can do it!! It won't be easy, but I learned how to live alone and still raise my 6 kids. My wife walked out on me a few years ago, and I have proved that I don't need her.

 

Even though I can't suggest divorce, I will suggest that you file whatever papers are necessary for him to provide support --- if he will do it voluntarily, then filing with the court might not be necessary.

 

Anger is normal, but please don't break property, don't hurt anyone, or make any threats. You don't want a police record, and you don't want to have your daughter taken away. She needs you a whole lot right now, so please keep posting on here to get support.

 

Others will post replies to your issue --- if you keep posting, you will get many comments.....marriage counseling, divorce, contacting him, and other advice because many on here have been through this. Some of the advice will be different, because we all handle situations differently. Take what helps you, and leave the rest go.

 

My pep talk to you is this: You will get through this, and you will come out of this standing tall.

Edited November 10, 2016 by LancasterAmos1966

[Miss Polly]

I am sorry you are going through this. Keep strong, you are a great mom and wife.

 

It seems to me your husband needs you now more than ever. Pray for him. He needs your love and your prayers. Depression is very real and misunderstood. If he says he loves you, believe it.

 

What is not clear here, is he helping you financially? If not, and you need it, simply ask him. It just might not be on his radar through his fog. Again pray for him.

 

This may sound silly, but can you two go “on a date”? Something as simple as that can shake things in the right direction. Or at least start to.

 

Prayers for you,

Miss Polly