Emmacat Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 It's only been 2 months since my ex friend of 12 years dumped me for a new girlfriend a week before we were supposed to go on holiday & completely blocked me out of his life. I miss him so much & every day I struggle to cope & pray his calls me...But what would I say if he did as he treated me like ****. Of course the ' I love you' 'I miss you' ' let's start again' is what I would like to say but that would mean he could treat me like **** again & repeat the dumping/blocking process. So I have a new theory - 'yes let's take it slow & try & be friends' would be ok but he needs to think I'm ok without him (which currently I'm not). What do I want to say? I want to say 1. I've been travelling/amazing holidays 2. I have a new exciting job/more money 3. I wrote a book/blog/published stories etc ( I started a creative writing course a week before I meet him then never completed it) 4. I have a busy social life 5. And of course I want to look good without photoshop or filters. Just good skin & hair because currently the stress is giving me spots & greasy hair. A completely new look would make me look like I'm trying to hard. Maybe working on these things I want to tell him will keep me busy & my mind off him a little bit. I know I should be doing this for me not him but in the long term even if he doesn't call me back ever I might feel good about myself and make some new friends along the way. Good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 do not think like that. deep down you are still dwelling on a relationship that is over. they dumped you and are out enjoying life while you are enjoying this forum. A man who loves a women, the last place they would want her to be spending a Friday night is on a stupid forum. Remember that no matter what you do, feel, say - he chose another women and that's fine. How he clued you in will dictate his character and he has yet judged yours. Your better off NC but make sure they give you the same respect. My ex faces charges for his guru's. He sent cyber stalking, guru's and tried to manipulate me to let it go. I will do no such thing! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 First, to answer your post the answer for me is a resounding NO THANK YOU. And that`s coming from someone who has always ended relationships on a good note where we have often remained friends. I`m just not the kind of woman who goes backwards when it comes to relationships no matter who broke it off and how much I might still care and love them. Second, as for your post, I think you`re right when you said you should be doing those things for YOU and not for him or to win him over or back again. Please don`t be that kind of woman. I know you`re hurting and still trying to put back the pieces of your life after your break up but trust me when I tell you that life goes on and with enough time and energy spent on other things that don`t include pining for your ex, your heart will indeed heal back together again. Good luck. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 My replies to the last ex if she called: Who is this? No, seriously? or I thought you were dead? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emmacat Posted November 11, 2016 Author Share Posted November 11, 2016 Thanks for your honestly - I will had to think of something else to do to fill this massive hole he left. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 You should go a full block and go completely dark unless you want to go thru the being dumped thing again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kelley Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 He wrote me a few letters as I had blocked him everywhere else, he wanted me back my answer was silence. He cheated, started a relationship with her, saw the grass was not greener and there is no way I would take back someone that cheated on me, too much self respect. Yes I still love him but that will fade in time .... Link to post Share on other sites
starswewillnavigate Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 My ex messages nearly every day about nothing... apart from today where he hinted at meeting. You don't know how much I've longed for him to... except recently I've started seeing another guy and I had a wave guilt for even contemplating seeing ex. Not that he asked explicitly, he never does. Link to post Share on other sites
stemac Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 been a year now and yes I still love her very much and yes she could take my pain away would I have her back if she asked " never in a million years!! Link to post Share on other sites
PLT Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 I think id either say, "Not on the same terms as last time" or "Have you started addressing your trust, anger, or intimacy issues yet?" or "You had your chance. Actually you had countless chances. You blew every single one of them. Why would it be any different now?" or "Who?" Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 Thanks for your honestly - I will had to think of something else to do to fill this massive hole he left. Do those things you listed. Not to prove something to him but because it's what you really want to do for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emmacat Posted November 16, 2016 Author Share Posted November 16, 2016 he send me a direct message on Instagram Tuesday afternoon. What I could see of the message was a photo of him, his friend had put on Instagram 2 years ago (I had commented on it 2 months ago) but I presume he changed his mind and deleted it has it had gone when I tried to open it. I kept thinking about this over and over does he want to contact me? Did he do it by mistake? Should I contact him? Is it over with his girlfriend and him? Was he going to tell me he is single/married/a dad? Many questions going around my crazy head. 2 steps ahead 10 steps back - thank you all for your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Depends on which ex it is. Some of them are happier with never even knowing I exist and the feelings are mutual. Others, I'd drive/fly/walk to their place this instant. Link to post Share on other sites
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