OLD: The ones that do get responses, but nothing after

[LookAtThisPOst]

Although, some men have had issues in even getting a woman to reply, there's a 2nd category of men who do get replies and quite a few irons in the fire, but...no follow-up. No reliability.

 

A friend of mine said he was talking to 4 women at once, and when he would make arrangements to meet, all 4 would ghost.

 

Now, would you say he's having some kind of level of success since he's getting responses AND correspondences, but not actually landing a date with them?

[Sweetfish]

Although, some men have had issues in even getting a woman to reply, there's a 2nd category of men who do get replies and quite a few irons in the fire, but...no follow-up. No reliability.

 

A friend of mine said he was talking to 4 women at once, and when he would make arrangements to meet, all 4 would ghost.

 

Now, would you say he's having some kind of level of success since he's getting responses AND correspondences, but not actually landing a date with them?

 

Yes...he does... but the question is.. does he go from online to phone... talking to the person on the phone is key to sealing a date.

 

How is your profile?

[Herbalist]

Women are more cautious than me, we are just wired differently, it is instinctive, just the way it is with special exceptions of course. This is why OLD is so much worse for men than it is for women. Women use all sorts of subtle little clues when encountering someone in person, to begin building a comfort level or to be guarded and move on. Most of those little clues are not possible when talking online. OLD is convenient in some ways but also circumvents many important parts of the natural exchanges between a man and a woman when first encountering each other. I would always say might as well use OLD as a background thing but still focus more on meeting new people in person.

[GemmaUK]

Have you seen all of the responses he got?

 

Did he tell you what they said word for word?

 

I used to reply to each mail, kindly but stating something in there where I was not interested or I wouldn't ask a question in return.

 

Both down to me not wanting to be impolite but also not wanting a reply.

 

Until you see his messages or he tells you the truth (unlikely as he will only see the positive in a response most likely) then you can't know if this is a positive or a negative.

 

If he is getting dates - that's when his mailing is a positive.

If he is getting a date set and a call later there is no date - that's a negative.

If mails are failing after one try or some conversation - that is a negative

If a phone call stage fails - that is a negative.

If each date is failing - this is a negative.

 

If all mails, calls dates are leading to nothing then your friend needs to look within - he is the common denominator.

 

You can't pin it down to a reply or one call/date for positivity - it doesn't work like that LATP.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Have you seen all of the responses he got?

 

Did he tell you what they said word for word?

 

I used to reply to each mail, kindly but stating something in there where I was not interested or I wouldn't ask a question in return.

 

Both down to me not wanting to be impolite but also not wanting a reply.

 

Until you see his messages or he tells you the truth (unlikely as he will only see the positive in a response most likely) then you can't know if this is a positive or a negative.

 

If he is getting dates - that's when his mailing is a positive.

If he is getting a date set and a call later there is no date - that's a negative.

If mails are failing after one try or some conversation - that is a negative

If a phone call stage fails - that is a negative.

If each date is failing - this is a negative.

 

If all mails, calls dates are leading to nothing then your friend needs to look within - he is the common denominator.

 

You can't pin it down to a reply or one call/date for positivity - it doesn't work like that LATP.

 

Can we at least once dismiss for a moment that there other possibilities than the whole, "common denominator is him" situation?

 

Can we just write it off as that there are just tons of people out there that don't know what they want, play games, and can be outright flaky...so it's really on them when they do this. This kind of behavior is what's keeping women (or people) single.

 

That they've have probably succumbed to the whole kid in a candy store mentality and the numerous emails they receive just makes him a number.

 

They are probably like, "Woah, found someone better...oh,he's even CUTER?...oh wait...there's another...and another...and another!"

[Philosopher]

Recently I have been getting this problem quite a bit and I would say less than a quarter of replies ends in an actual date. I think the issue is twofold. Firstly quite a few women and men on online dating I suspect are not really there to meet anyone, particularly on the free sites. Perhaps they are there just to waste some time when they are bored or are there for some other reason. Hence when you suggest meeting up they disappear.

 

The second reason is that women will differ on when they are comfortable meeting up and how they like to be asked. I typically exchange numbers and suggest meeting up on the third exchange of messages as through trial and error I have found this works best. This does not always work though. Some women may be very keen to meet up as soon as possible and will feel that if you have not suggested meeting up by the second message you are wasting their time and will ignore your subsequent messages. Other women will not feel comfortable exchanging numbers this early. Some of these women may say they would prefer to continue messaging online, however others may stop replying completing.

 

Related to this may be how you exchange numbers, some women may not feel comfortable giving out their number until you have given out yours. Other women may prefer the more assertive approach and that you ask them for their number.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Recently I have been getting this problem quite a bit and I would say less than a quarter of replies ends in an actual date. I think the issue is twofold. Firstly quite a few women and men on online dating I suspect are not really there to meet anyone, particularly on the free sites. Perhaps they are there just to waste some time when they are bored or are there for some other reason. Hence when you suggest meeting up they disappear.

 

The second reason is that women will differ on when they are comfortable meeting up and how they like to be asked. I typically exchange numbers and suggest meeting up on the third exchange of messages as through trial and error I have found this works best. This does not always work though. Some women may be very keen to meet up as soon as possible and will feel that if you have not suggested meeting up by the second message you are wasting their time and will ignore your subsequent messages. Other women will not feel comfortable exchanging numbers this early. Some of these women may say they would prefer to continue messaging online, however others may stop replying completing.

 

Related to this may be how you exchange numbers, some women may not feel comfortable giving out their number until you have given out yours. Other women may prefer the more assertive approach and that you ask them for their number.

 

Wow, this entire post made the whole simply asking a woman out exhausting. Seems people (the women being asked out) make it more complicated than how it really should be.

[NuevoYorko]

Although, some men have had issues in even getting a woman to reply, there's a 2nd category of men who do get replies and quite a few irons in the fire, but...no follow-up. No reliability.

 

It's not a issue of "reliability." What this means is that the woman was interested, or polite enough to reply, but NOT interested or polite enough to carry on any further than that.

 

This is not really that hard to figure out ...

[PrettyEmily77]

A friend of mine said he was talking to 4 women at once, and when he would make arrangements to meet, all 4 would ghost.

 

If he's talking to 4 women at a time, isn't he succumbing to the 'kid in a candy store mentality', or is it just a woman thing?

 

 

Obvious double standards aside, I don't do OLD (just as well, by the looks of things) but if I had even just a whiff of an inkling that a guy I might be interested in is talking to 3 other women and wants to date/compare us all, I'm gone.

 

So maybe that dude gives off a 'I'll date anyone' vibe?

[LookAtThisPOst]

If he's talking to 4 women at a time, isn't he succumbing to the 'kid in a candy store mentality', or is it just a woman thing?

 

 

Obvious double standards aside, I don't do OLD (just as well, by the looks of things) but if I had even just a whiff of an inkling that a guy I might be interested in is talking to 3 other women and wants to date/compare us all, I'm gone.

 

So maybe that dude gives off a 'I'll date anyone' vibe?

 

Hardly, as it's a necessary evil to have back ups considering the flaky nature of online dating. So it's like if they do it, you gotta do it, too.

 

Some double standards are a fact of life.

[Weezy1973]

If people aren't having success with OLD (however they define it) it's on them. As a previous poster said, he's the common denominator.

 

I'm about as average a man as you'll find and I've had great success. From responses, to getting dates, to finding relationships (including my current one). As many have said, it's another avenue to meet people, and I've met a lot of great women using online dating.

 

So to summarize:

 

1. Average men can and do have success with OLD. I'm a great example of this.

2. If people don't succeed with OLD consistently, they are the common denominator and they have to look at what they're doing wrong. It's NOT the fault of OLD or the opposite gender.

[PrettyEmily77]

Hardly, as it's a necessary evil to have back ups considering the flaky nature of online dating. So it's like if they do it, you gotta do it, too.

 

Some double standards are a fact of life.

 

So I guess ghosting is a fact of life...

 

I don't know man, but in the scheme of things, not replying back to someone you have never met may be bit ill-mannered, but that's as far as it goes - you kind of have to keep it in perspective, you know?

[MissBee]

Although, some men have had issues in even getting a woman to reply, there's a 2nd category of men who do get replies and quite a few irons in the fire, but...no follow-up. No reliability.

 

A friend of mine said he was talking to 4 women at once, and when he would make arrangements to meet, all 4 would ghost.

 

Now, would you say he's having some kind of level of success since he's getting responses AND correspondences, but not actually landing a date with them?

 

If success or his aim is to get dates then no he's not successful.

 

But since he does at least get responses, it is one step on the spectrum of a place to start.

[LookAtThisPOst]

If people aren't having success with OLD (however they define it) it's on them. As a previous poster said, he's the common denominator.

 

I'm about as average a man as you'll find and I've had great success. From responses, to getting dates, to finding relationships (including my current one). As many have said, it's another avenue to meet people, and I've met a lot of great women using online dating.

 

So to summarize:

 

1. Average men can and do have success with OLD. I'm a great example of this.

2. If people don't succeed with OLD consistently, they are the common denominator and they have to look at what they're doing wrong. It's NOT the fault of OLD or the opposite gender.

 

Must be location if your just average looking, you may live in an area where women are more practical instead of shallow.

 

If people don't succeed with OLD consistently, they are the common denominator and they have to look at what they're doing wrong. It's NOT the fault of OLD or the opposite gender.

 

You can't even say SLIGHTLY that it could be the kind of people that he's contacting? The fact that flaky behavior is common in society and has become an acceptable behavior by many...I would say the common denominator is with them.

 

There's something that reliability that's hard to find in others. Even with real life friendships.

 

That's why they say you can count up to on one hand, at the most, the amount of people/friends that you could rely on. Which would indicate the least common denominator.

[Weezy1973]

Must be location if your just average looking, you may live in an area where women are more practical instead of shallow.

 

Not at all. Most people are in relationships, so have success dating whether that be in OLD or IRL. Of course average looking men have success with OLD! It has nothing to do with the area one lives in unless the population base is quite small. I do live in a fairly large city, so increase the amount of both men and women in my area.

 

You can't even say SLIGHTLY that it could be the kind of people that he's contacting? The fact that flaky behavior is common in society and has become an acceptable behavior by many...I would say the common denominator is with them.

 

If he is the one continually choosing the same type of flaky person - then clearly it`s him. Also if he is choosing people out of his league, the problem is with him.

 

There's something that reliability that's hard to find in others. Even with real life friendships.

 

That's why they say you can count up to on one hand, at the most, the amount of people/friends that you could rely on. Which would indicate the least common denominator.

 

Again, I have had a lot of success with OLD. And I am average at best in all senses. The problem with blaming external factors is that you will never try to do anything to get better. It seems to always be somebody else`s fault...When you take ownership of your success or failure with OLD it allows you to take control and get better at it...

[LookAtThisPOst]

Not at all. Most people are in relationships, so have success dating whether that be in OLD or IRL. Of course average looking men have success with OLD! It has nothing to do with the area one lives in unless the population base is quite small. I do live in a fairly large city, so increase the amount of both men and women in my area.

 

I'm going to have to disagree with you there. Of course, that's just your opinion.

 

Numbers help, Vancouver...I would imagine the attitude and culture there iis different and the women are more receptive.

 

But still...when it comes to certain areas of the country, some people (women) tend to be more withdrawn than willing to talk. I recall this same male friend, went to Georgia I think...it was some church concert and he was on the steps with his male friends and some ladies from the event went straight up to them and started talking out of the blue.

 

He was floored by the culture difference. Like a regular Pleasantville there.

 

If he is the one continually choosing the same type of flaky person - then clearly it`s him. Also if he is choosing people out of his league, the problem is with him.

 

Nothing can be done to help this, because there's no way of KNOWING they are this way (flaky), until you've interacted with them. Don't have a crystal ball.

 

Funny, I've been so discerning with women online that I deliberately look for those IN my league to the point where it's uncanny. Same beliefs, obscure interests, same humor, someone I think gets me...but still no response. Some even had a few extra pounds on them, too.

 

Also, see this blog on OK Cupid that give the stats on how women have the uppherhand in online dating and the level of attractiveness, ie. "Numbers of messages received vs. recipients attractiveness.

 

(Hm, maybe I should make this link as part of my delivery process when discussing online dating in here)

 

There are other talking points there, that the level of attractiveness, to a woman, when it comes to being receptive to men...is far less than men. In there somewhere, the percentage of women who found men on OK Cupid attractive physically far less than that of men.

 

"Women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve"

Edited November 15, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[Poe77]

Can we at least once dismiss for a moment that there other possibilities than the whole, "common denominator is him" situation?

 

Can we just write it off as that there are just tons of people out there that don't know what they want, play games, and can be outright flaky...so it's really on them when they do this. This kind of behavior is what's keeping women (or people) single.

 

That they've have probably succumbed to the whole kid in a candy store mentality and the numerous emails they receive just makes him a number.

 

They are probably like, "Woah, found someone better...oh,he's even CUTER?...oh wait...there's another...and another...and another!"

 

And men what dont do this to women? some how men are excluded from wasting women's time? now before you answer that with a typical knee jerk reaction and tell me its more common for it to happen to a guy take a look around on these forums there are tons of women wondering what men are also up to when it comes to dating why he do this why he do that...it goes both ways... and no its not "what's keeping women (or people) single" cause despite it a lot of people are in relationships its keeping the ones who just want to date date die single...a serious person will always follow thu im sorry if you haven't found any or maybe reevaluate your own meatheads or standards?

[LookAtThisPOst]

And men what dont do this to women? some how men are excluded from wasting women's time? now before you answer that with a typical knee jerk reaction and tell me its more common for it to happen to a guy take a look around on these forums there are tons of women wondering what men are also up to when it comes to dating why he do this why he do that...it goes both ways... and no its not "what's keeping women (or people) single" cause despite it a lot of people are in relationships its keeping the ones who just want to date date die single...a serious person will always follow thu im sorry if you haven't found any or maybe reevaluate your own meatheads or standards?

 

Now don't get alllll offended just because I didn't include the ladies in the topic of discussion. Sorry that you feel so left out.

 

Perhaps those here who post should proceed the posting with "I am man/woman". I'm a man seeking a woman, not another man...that's why I habitually sometimes don't "Oh, and this happens to the ladies, too."

 

Okay, back on topic.

[Poe77]

Now don't get alllll offended just because I didn't include the ladies in the topic of discussion. Sorry that you feel so left out.

 

Perhaps those here who post should proceed the posting with "I am man/woman". I'm a man seeking a woman, not another man...that's why I habitually sometimes don't "Oh, and this happens to the ladies, too."

 

Okay, back on topic.

 

I mean since a lot of men on here seam to think all women are out to get them and we some how have this all "girls club" we invented to just deny them of their manly right to date us..I mean god forbid a women changed her mind after initial contact and doesn't take it further it must be some kinda conspiracy agenst all the men in the world! woe is me...*sob exit stage left... are we done with the sarcasm? ok as you say back on topic again then RigghtyO..

 

my point before you thought it was cewl to insult me was actually quite on topic im sorry if it wasn't very self serving to your crusade how ever it was inddedy in the same ball park.. ive noticed in the short time ive been on here that it seams some men on here think women are never inconvenienced when it comes to dating..why dose your friend not get any further? who knows could be a meriot of reasons could be the women are flaky yes but also could be something hes doing...

[LookAtThisPOst]

I mean since a lot of men on here seam to think all women are out to get them and we some how have this all "girls club" we invented to just deny them of their manly right to date us..I mean god forbid a women changed her mind after initial contact and doesn't take it further it must be some kinda conspiracy agenst all the men in the world! woe is me...*sob exit stage left... are we done with the sarcasm? ok as you say back on topic again then RigghtyO..

 

my point before you thought it was cewl to insult me was actually quite on topic im sorry if it wasn't very self serving to your crusade how ever it was inddedy in the same ball park.. ive noticed in the short time ive been on here that it seams some men on here think women are never inconvenienced when it comes to dating..why dose your friend not get any further? who knows could be a meriot of reasons could be the women are flaky yes but also could be something hes doing...

 

It's really less likely what he's doing as he's gotten a handful of dates here and there. But the flakers are pretty much easily distracted by the options available to them. I think this is why men just farm out messages to women, regardless of seeing if there's any compatibility written in the profiles because people (men and women) look at the basic stats, photos (is he a hunk/hottie?) and that's pretty much it.

 

They just scan through it like a resume scanner in a corporation. A very abrupt weeding out process and you could be easily thrown out of the running while she's holding a conversation with one guy...then another guy more appealing drops by.

 

Just Google "The Husband Store" and you'll see what I mean. lol

[Poe77]

It's really less likely what he's doing as he's gotten a handful of dates here and there. But the flakers are pretty much easily distracted by the options available to them. I think this is why men just farm out messages to women, regardless of seeing if there's any compatibility written in the profiles because people (men and women) look at the basic stats, photos (is he a hunk/hottie?) and that's pretty much it.

 

They just scan through it like a resume scanner in a corporation. A very abrupt weeding out process and you could be easily thrown out of the running while she's holding a conversation with one guy...then another guy more appealing drops by.

 

Just Google "The Husband Store" and you'll see what I mean. lol

 

 

Guys do this to actually guys work more based off looks I think then women women will actually read the profiles and look for some level of compatibility least that's what I use to do back when. and yea of course you have to be some what attracted to the guy for anything romantic to work. OLD is like one big job interview some make it to the second round of interviews and some dont some make it to the second one and never hear back that's just how it works that's life!

 

I know that's not very comforting to those trying to find a partner but all you can do is keep going and if it truly isn't showing any promise then try a different outlet. OLD is ok but honestly it wouldn't be my 1st place ide look for a partner anymore ide rather try and look were me and the dude would be sharing some mutual interest for me it was on line gaming. least there we were sharing a mutual interest 1st and not just part of some huge dating interview..

 

IMO dating works depending on how you approach it your level of desperation and your own standards they all have to be realistic and in line other wise your just going to end up angry and frustrated..surely your friend has some hobby's he could be getting more actively into were he could meet women?

 

End of the day I just dont think OLD works for everyone it can work but I think you have to be resilient and have fairly thick skin not to mention be able to weed out the time wasters and have patients of a saint...that's a tall order for alot of folks so of course some are going to end up feeling like they are getting the short end of the stick..

[Poe77]

more appealing drops by.

 

Just Google "The Husband Store" and you'll see what I mean. lol

 

Im assuming this is what your talking about? or some version of this?

 

"A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!" So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1- These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2- These men have jobs and love kids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4- These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads: Floor 5- These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay. But she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!! To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store across the street. The 1st floor has wives who love sex. The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited."

 

 

1st off its a joke pretty much but for the sake of argument lets break it down a bit..

 

Ok the jist of it is all women are super picky when it comes to men? and again this is going to take me back to my original statement men do this to..so you mean to tell me if you honestly had a choice between a women who ticked all your boxes who really did it for you and a women who only ticked 2 or maybe 1 but was a really nice girl regardless that your not going to go for the one ticks all your boxes 1st? um I think not..that's just human selection your going to go for the one you think will make you most happy..granted there are women and men who take those "wants and standards" to a redickulas level and have just absurd "standards" but alot of the time those are also the ones left single..just saying it dose seam that way..

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

End of the day I just dont think OLD works for everyone it can work but I think you have to be resilient and have fairly thick skin not to mention be able to weed out the time wasters and have patients of a saint...that's a tall order for alot of folks so of course some are going to end up feeling like they are getting the short end of the stick..

 

I agree, my latest post about the woman who's judgement was so impeded and soured, that she honestly couldn't believe I was my own age...because she's come across so many liars/cat fish...that she couldn't even believe my age when she asked me a 2nd time.

 

She said if she even gets a WHIF of a suspicion about the person on the other end of the computer, she launches immediately.

 

So obviously her bitterness was impeding her judgement and I even told her that she may want to consider stepping away from online dating since she, too, admitted to being frustrated. She's blinded by the non-organic process of online dating.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Im assuming this is what your talking about? or some version of this?

 

"A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!" So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1- These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2- These men have jobs and love kids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4- These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads: Floor 5- These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay. But she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!! To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store across the street. The 1st floor has wives who love sex. The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited."

 

 

1st off its a joke pretty much but for the sake of argument lets break it down a bit..

 

Ok the jist of it is all women are super picky when it comes to men? and again this is going to take me back to my original statement men do this to..so you mean to tell me if you honestly had a choice between a women who ticked all your boxes who really did it for you and a women who only ticked 2 or maybe 1 but was a really nice girl regardless that your not going to go for the one ticks all your boxes 1st? um I think not..that's just human selection your going to go for the one you think will make you most happy..granted there are women and men who take those "wants and standards" to a redickulas level and have just absurd "standards" but alot of the time those are also the ones left single..just saying it dose seam that way..

 

Let's use this analogy, let's say if two men had a lot what you want in a partner, but one was an accountant making a humble income vs. a executive that makes six figures working for a brokerage firm?

 

Would you really let something like status or money be the tie breaker?

 

The point of that "joke" is that it's funny because it's so true...A lot women don't knokw what they want, thus the point of it

 

When she reaches the last floor, it's a statement saying, "You'll never be satisfied, so you're better off alone and probably not relationship material."

 

I think the point here is is that she is always trying to find something better or the BBD, Bigger Better Deal. It is a metaphor for how she is always trying to find someone better than their current selection.

 

Sometimes they'll trade up if they dating someone currently. Nothing seems to satisfy them...the "Grass is always greener" scenario.

 

It seems to me some of these ladies will never be happy or satiated. I've come across them in real life, their relationships usually last a few months to a year tops because they are keeping an eye out for something better. Some don't even know what the want.

 

This explain why I've seen some of them forever affixed to online dating sites. Some have stated to have returned to the site because it didn't work for them the first time.

 

I was like "Good luck with that, same guys are on here that emailed you already...why bother again?"

[Poe77]

Let's use this analogy, let's say if two men had a lot what you want in a partner, but one was an accountant making a humble income vs. a executive that makes six figures working for a brokerage firm?

 

Would you really let something like status or money be the tie breaker?

 

The point of that "joke" is that it's funny because it's so true...A lot women don't knokw what they want, thus the point of it

 

When she reaches the last floor, it's a statement saying, "You'll never be satisfied, so you're better off alone and probably not relationship material."

 

I think the point here is is that she is always trying to find something better or the BBD, Bigger Better Deal. It is a metaphor for how she is always trying to find someone better than their current selection.

 

Sometimes they'll trade up if they dating someone currently. Nothing seems to satisfy them...the "Grass is always greener" scenario.

 

It seems to me some of these ladies will never be happy or satiated. I've come across them in real life, their relationships usually last a few months to a year tops because they are keeping an eye out for something better. Some don't even know what the want.

 

This explain why I've seen some of them forever affixed to online dating sites. Some have stated to have returned to the site because it didn't work for them the first time.

 

I was like "Good luck with that, same guys are on here that emailed you already...why bother again?"

 

I think your to pessimistic and dare I say it jaded a little no offense there just how it honestly sounds from a outsider looking in its like you simply cant or wont grasp that its not just men who deal with this maybe this is a big part of the over all prob? your subconsciously making it a "them vs us" kinda thing? I dunno..I know that kinda mid set cant be advantageous people can pick up on that kinda stuff.

 

Look im not saying all women have their **** together cause I know we dont but there are a fair amount who do I think the real question is why isn't you or your friend finding those women instead of the ones who are also jaded and mistrustful and or special snow flakes? the definition of insanity is after all doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result or so I herd once..

 

Far as your little scenario goes it would depend on the individual guy I guess I mean im not going to lie to you the stability would be appealing of the executive guy that's just common sense but if his personality wasn't compatible then he would lose out..but then again I dated a guy who worked for a bit over min wage for Walmart for near 10 years so im not really one of those kinda picky materialistic women I guess..

 

Long as he has some kinda income and is a good guy im happy we can work on anything else as it comes..I honestly dont get the women or men for that matter who have these massive check lists or discount a other wise dateble person just because they dont tick all their unrealistic boxes then again I am in a relationship so I guess that goes back to the unrealistic ones usually stay single longer or like you said have lots of shallow meaningless flings..eh to each their own you will never be able to figure everyone out all one can do is reevaluate their own actions and work from there to get a different result..

Edited November 16, 2016 by Poe77