I'm unwanted and don't know how to cope.

[ItsAllConfusing]

I'm age 30 and mom to one preteen. I've been single since 2006. Guys really never approach me and when they do they are old enough to be my dad, married, homeless or on some substance.

 

I live in a college town and i go out everyday and I see these young women all lovey dovey holding hands with their boyfriend while I cry 3 times a week from the pressure of life and close my eyes at night to dream of the man for me. I just want that feeling of being touched and genuinely loved.

 

It makes me feel so sad and overlooked. I'm trying to forget about men but it's really hard. I try not to be jealous of couples but that's really hard too.

 

I went out on a date two months ago and ended up in his bed and he doesn't care or have any true interest in me because he only texts me on Friday nights to meet and never makes any plans in advance. I feel like dated crap. I'm stuck on him and I try to ignore his Friday texts but I'm just lying to myself. I check my phone for his stupid one line texts just because i want him to want me.

 

I chat with guys online and all they want is sex, sex, sex. Im so frustrated. Maybe I just give up on finding anyone. Maybe it's my destiny. Maybe I had my chance and I blew it on my child's father . Maybe because I'm a mom I shouldn't date. I just feel so terrible.

 

I'm at a crappy place. I try to suck it up and say forget men but it's almost impossible to do. There are things that I need to focus on in my life but my loveless circumstance is taking over my life causing me distress.

 

How do I block men out? Should I?

 

 

Any advice?

[Poppyolive]

Sorry to hear you are in this rut. First up you need to tell this Friday nighter that you are done. From there you block him. Next you need to get your boundaries in check so you don't run into this again. Thirdly, you're not going to find a decent match, love and respect if you don't love and repect yourself. So, get yourself in check and begin working on yourself.

 

Self respect, self love, grattitude and acceptance should be the beginning. Being kind to yourself, and not causing self hurt with your harmful thoughts. There is a world of books out there. Or you could go talk to someone to help get your world on track again.

 

When you feel stronger and sure of yourself, then you could work on boundaries whilst dating and what your ideal relationship would look like. There's a fabulous book called "calling in the one" very insightful.

 

Finally, you deserve the best. Once you find healing within, you will recognise a mate that can compliment your life.

 

Be easy on yourself. Everyone gets lost. From here is a new beginning. And I'm excited for you.

[Satu]

Getting what you want begins with rejecting what you don't want.

 

Finding the right man means rejecting all the wrong men.

 

Just tell this guy that you don't want what he's offering, spend some more time alone and then start looking again.

 

And what Poppyolive said.

 

 

Take care.

[NopeNah]

My advice: "Stop looking!"...Relax and enjoy raising your kid.

[Kelley]

You need to work on you first, get to the point where you don't NEED a guy but like the idea of having one. It come across like you need someone to love you, love yourself first. If you did this Friday night guy wouldn't have stood a chance. Build your own happy life then this will attract someone decent! Find some hobbies it's also a great way to meet someone doing what you enjoy too. Don't be too desperate to find a guy. love you, love life and then he will find you!

[spiderowl]

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. I know what it is like. Yes, the guys online seem to offer very little. I think partly because they have lost heart too so they can't be bothered to make an effort.

 

The Friday guy is not respectful enough for you. Kicking him out will make you feel you deserve better because you have made that choice.

 

I am sure if you felt better about yourself and what you have to offer, you would find guys appearing on the scene. If you are feeling unworthy, those are the vibes you send out. I do feel there is a strange link between people that occurs when you are mentally in the right place.

 

So you are a kind woman, who works hard, who wants true love and respect, who cares for a daughter despite things being so hard. What an amazing person! You have so much to offer, just remember that.