Is there any hope for reconciliation?

[puppy1031]

Thank you, just a guy.

 

I've been dealing with depression since he met me, but it got really bad for a bit after we lost our health insurance and i didn't have medication. He wants to be a mental health counselor, though, that's what he's going to grad school for.

 

And now that he's divorcing me I'm losing my health insurance again.

 

It's hard to look at that as a "bright side" when it's not what I want, though. There already are and have been a number of young men who want to date me. Stupid, immature, unattractive, annoying young men that I don't want date. Cake is hardly a bright side to someone with Celiac's disease who can't have it. But I know what you're saying, and thank you.

 

I've never gotten along so well with anyone the way I've always gotten along with my husband. The night we met, there was an immediate connection such that I felt like I was just running into an old friend after a long time and not meeting someone new. That's just not something that happens very often. People keep telling me I'll meet someone else. Yes, I know. But I'm not holding my breath for something that magical to happen again anytime soon. It's hard to be excited to meet someone new when it's pretty much a guarantee that they'll fall short of that.

 

And yeah, I'm only 29. That's not old. But like, if I don't find someone in 5 years..? I'm not getting any younger either. And trying to find a guy who doesn't already have kids? It just sounds a lot like, you'll be happy if you just lower your standards and settle for less...

Edited November 16, 2016 by puppy1031

[Just a Guy]

Hi Puppy, thank you again for responding. From the way you have written it is obvious that you are a little bitter at the turn of events in your life and no one can blame you for it. However, for your own good I guess you would have to snap out of that attitude as it will do you no good. I know you think it is easy for people to say that but then the reality is that life deals lemons to people when they least expect it and they still have to survive inspite of them because time does not stand still for any one. The thing is that if you harbour negative feelings and then try to work to make things better then you are doing yourself a great injustice. You are tying yourself up in chains and then wondering why you are not able to move. Our attitudes make all the difference in how we go about tackling our affairs in life. With a positive attitude you will feel more energetic and enthusiastic and will be able to move much faster and more successfully than if you were to try to do this with a negative, bitter attitude. Also you will radiate more positivity to everyone around you which will act like a catalyst for everything you do.

 

I would suggest that you sit back and take stock of your situation as it is today and think out different strategies as to how best you can deal with your situation. Your health insurance is a problem and I guess there will be a number of people on this forum who would be able to suggest ways and means to solve this problem for you. Please do ask people on this forum for specific advice on various things as the collective wisdom available here is vast. Just remember to not feel sorry for yourself as that will get you no where. I think you are intrinsically a strong person and if you work towards a more positive and radiant version of yourself, you will find yourself attracting the tight kind of people into your life. I would recommend that you get a copy of the book 'Psycho Cybernetics' by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. It may help you turn your life around and help you achieve your highest potential. Hope some of this helps. Cheers.

Edited November 17, 2016 by Just a Guy

[Just a Guy]

Hi Puppy, we have'nt heard from you in a while. I hope you are doing well. Posting here will help you relieve some of frustrations and fears and also involve people in suggesting different strategies to help you cope.

 

While reading one of your posts I saw that you had written that a while before your husband told you he was done he said that he did not respect you because you were not an equal partner and had started to resent you because you did not listen to him or understand his problems. What was the reason for him to say this and was he justified in thinking so? Also what were your responses to these outburst from him?

 

You say that you connected uncommonly with your husband when you met him in the beginning because of the chemistry between you two. Did your husband also feel the same way or was it a one sided experience limited to only you? The thing is that if both of you felt that way then such an attraction just does not disappear into thin air. It may go dormant for a while but it will always be there. A little effort on both your parts may resurrect it again. I do hope both of you have tried your hardest. In any case I wish you all the very best going forward. Cheers.