My family is holding me from moving on with my life and It's making me depressed

[AnalogueAnimal]

Hi all, I am really in need of advice as I never faced any problems like this before. I am starting to get very depressed about my situation. I have been in an LDR with a girl for nearly 3 years now. I've met her in person and she has met me. Even though its been very hard for her, she has been patient and waited for me and I can't bare the distance either. We have planned to close the distance early next year. I'm planning to study my master's in her country and get a job and settle permanently over there with her. She has been very helpful for me. I have promised her that I would close the distance early next year and this is a promise I can't break.

 

I have been working in my current country and saved all my money for this very own purpose and to pay my expenses, I will take education loan and I won't be asking any money from my parents for this. I have worked very hard for this and because of my parents actions, I feel like I will lose everything. I'm 24, nearing 25 and I know I sound selfish but I want to start my new life and move out of my parents house. Couple of weeks ago, my father got into legal trouble and got suspended from his job for 6 months. He was arrested even though it wasn't his fault at all, he has gotten bail and he is home now. The court case will go on for 3-4 years. He is the only one who works in my family. The bank wants a family member to give surety for me to get my education load ( this is a mandatory rule in my country ). And now, I have very less chances of getting the education loan and my brother is telling me to drop my plans of studying and moving there. I planned this for nearly 3 years, worked hard and saved money and now I don't know what to do. I haven't told my gf about this yet.. I have supported and helped my father but why should I drop my dreams. I worked hard to improve my profile so I can join a good university and settle there. They have always been making me depressed since the beginning as my family members don't really have a good relationship with each other, I feel like they hold me down and now I feel lifeless.

 

Should I tell her everything that's happening? I don't want her to keep waiting for me and hurt her, If I'm stuck here, I will tell her to find someone else. To be honest, she was the one who supported me when I was unemployed and has been very positive partner for me. I owe her my success. Please help..Should I bring this issue up with family and ask them whether I need to drop my plans of studying masters?

[ja123]

Is your father working again after having been suspended?

 

 

Can he sign the student loan for you? Ask. He can only say no, whereby you make other plans.

 

 

Wait to ask your father and see what he says before telling your girlfriend. But, yeah, you are going to have to let her know what's happening at some point.

[ElizabethIII]

If you cant get the loan, you cant get it. If your dad is the only one, I dont see how you can get the loan.

 

Loan issues aside, I dont know why any 24 year old would have spent the last 3 years in a LDR.

 

You were 21...so many other women you could have been meeting.

 

Maybe it just isnt meant to be.

Edited November 21, 2016 by ElizabethIII