Author comingalong Posted November 13, 2016 Author Share Posted November 13, 2016 Could very well be the drugs.....maybe she is stalling because she doesn't want a divorce but can't face that she has both cheated and using drugs knowing your stance on addiction. Could be true. When we first separated, she found out I was going to al-anon meetings and she flipped. She told me I have too many issues and should be focusing on myself. Also, her sister who's a psychology student "diagnosed" me with BPD, bi polar and being a narcassist. But her sister would diagnose people all of the time, what a family I married into. Her mother is an addict and I'm sure supports her. I always told her, I would support an addict in recovery, but not an addict. Link to post Share on other sites
Author comingalong Posted November 13, 2016 Author Share Posted November 13, 2016 comingalong, Your wife is a cake-eater pure and simple. Stalling on the divorce is her way of keeping control over you, so don't allow it. Have a meeting with your solicitor/lawyer and ask him/her what your options are and how you can move forward. Good luck x But wouldn't a cake eater try to hold onto both cake and ability to eat it? She knows I'm out living my life, meeting women and doing my thing. She has made zero effort to reach out. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 For someone who says he doesnt like it when people are indecisive, you sure are indecisive. She's not coming back to the marriage. Give it up. Push your lawyer for a unilateral divorce. Force it into court if necessary. Have her subpoenaed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 (edited) I'm just thinking maybe this is where she changes her mind? We've been separated for a year and half if I think about it. Is she earning her own money? Is she completely supporting herself? Just get it in front of her and tell her to sign it. Show up at her work if you need to. Get it filed and finished. Be grateful you dodged a bullet - you don't need to stay married to a heavy drinker who does coke. She's not the gal you thought she was/you don't need to hang on - she's not likely going to become her old self again. Take action. You can be free to find a decent woman. A year and a half has been wasted - no reason to wait even another day: Edited November 15, 2016 by S2B Link to post Share on other sites
bigman1 Posted November 20, 2016 Share Posted November 20, 2016 A major part of your story makes no sense. You have been seperated for a year, she's with someone else, she hired a lawyer and you are a signature away and you keep calling this a marriage?! Other than on paper, why do you seem to have so much invested in this? How do you figure remorse on her part somehow makes this salvageable? Either there is more to the story or there is nothing. File and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 I'm just thinking maybe this is where she changes her mind? We've been separated for a year and half if I think about it. Why on God's green earth would you want someone like this back? After how cruelly she has treated you? You must value yourself very little to sacrifice your self respect that easily. Link to post Share on other sites
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