Going on Vacation

[What to do]

I am going on vacation to Mexico with my girl friend. I have always paid for her, no matter where we went, but this vacation is kind of expensive, and I am running low on cash, since I just moved out and bought a car. I know also, that she is working part time, and has saved up some money, however, I really feel awkward asking her to pay her half, but I guess I will have to, since she expects me to pay, and it is over a grand. What is the nicest way to tell her this without sounding cheap? I don't want her to get any wrong ideas, but, hey one thousand dollars is a lot of money, I am not saying that I would not pay, I would do anything for this girl, but at this time in my life, I have got so many bills to pay, and it would be very helpful if she paid her half.... what do you guys think?

[Sally]

If this girl is going to Mexico with you for a vacation, she obviously likes you. If that's the case, then you explaining to her that you are broke and are still trying to pay for most of it, shouldn't affect her opinion of you what-so-ever. If it does bother her then she's shallow and I'd drop her.

 

Why don't you jaught down a list of things that you're probably going to do. (By the way, I was just in Mexico this past week (Cozumel). It was absolutely beautiful and not very expensive. Just don't drink the water and barter a lot with the street vendors.) You'll probably have some tours (not very expensive) and you'll definitely need to eat. Taxis are very inexpensive. As for gifts - she should buy her own stuff. I'd never expect someone to pay for gifts for my friends and family.

 

Anyway, sit her down and explain to her that you are not a cheap person, but would she be bothered if she could maybe pitch in for meals and stuff. Explain to her that if you made really good money, you'd pay for everything, but unfortunately, you really don't have much. Also let her know that you are aware that she is broke, but is there some compromise that you two could meet, so that you don't end up in debt. Explain that you'll pay for the majority, because you have more money, but to please understand that you only were able to save so much. If she cares for you and really loves you, none of this will be a problem. I personally think it's not fair if she doesn't chip in. I would never expect someone to pay my way, unless we were married. REmember that line in A Bronx Tale, when the guy says to the boy, something along the lines of "Unlock and open the door for the girl you're on a date with and leave the drivers side door locked. If the girl doesn't unlock the drivers side door for you, then she's not worth it and selfish (or something like that) and if she does, she's a keeper. That's what this sounds like.

 

Don't be nervous to ask, after all if you two are going to have something together, there should be open communication.

 

THe thinking about and the anticipation of the how you're going to tell her, is always worst than the actually telling her.

 

Hope everything works out and have a great trip.

[Ed]

There are only a few ways you can go on a trip with somebody.

 

1. You invite them (you pay)

 

2. You invite them - with conditions (you will only pay for certain things)

 

3. They invite you (they pay)

 

4. They invite you - with conditions (they will only pay for certain things)

 

5. You invite yourself, i.e. Can I go? or I would like to go with you. (each pays their own way)

 

6. You are kidnapped (this means you will not have much fun)

 

I don't know which one of these scenarios, if any, is true in your situation. Anyone choosing 1 or 3 should do some planning and preparation ahead of time. The other options (except 6) are pretty flexible.

 

If you invited her to go to Mexico with you (which I have a feeling you did, please let me know if I am wrong), then I think you should pay for travel, lodging and food. Any other kind of entertainment should be negotiable.

 

Maybe the best thing for you to do is tell her you need to postpone the trip until you can get your finances in order. If you have put up a non-refundable deposit, see if the travel agency will make an exception or give you a voucher.

 

Who knows? Your girlfriend may offer to help with the expenses. If she does, your off the hook. Go for it!