NC then breadcrumbs? [UPDATE: I called her last night.....]

[goingcrazy123]

I will keep this short and sweet

 

3.5 year relationship. Ups and downs here and there overall good with very strong feelings from both sides. Communication issues caused most issues.

 

So we broke up one weekend she said it was not working after a small fight over something rediculous.

 

A week later she text me to ask if I needed help moving I was moving my appt to another appt. (she knew I was moving prior) small talk then nothing

 

No contact for 2 weeks. I called her up to confirm we were done because it was an odd break up nothing set in stone and she said it just was not working I agreed. She was persistant on the fact that we stay in touch and be friends. I said I need some time I didnt really think we would be friends but I said I would consider it. She said let me know when you are ready.

 

3 weeks later my birthday get a text from her at 1201 am saying happy birthday. We had small talk she was pissed that I didnt ask her for help moving a few weeks ago. I said hey lets get lunch sometime thats more fun then if you came to help me move. She says maybe.

 

She text me a few days later small talk. I picked up phone and called because I hate texting. We chatted for a bit some about relationship and how shes been bla bla bla the conversation went pretty good. She said she misses me and she thinks about me often. I suggested grabbing food sometime she agreed.

 

2 days later I send a follow up text saying " hey if you want to grab something to eat sometime let me know" and I get no response.

 

What do I do now no contact again? I feel like a fool putting it out there without a response. Do I block her or just forget it?

[Chief1970]

Don't waste your time with somebody who is one foot in and one foot out. Clearly, you still have feelings for her. She either wants to be with you or not. Don't waste your time if she's playing games.

[BC1980]

Just forget her. There's no need to contact her again. She clearly didn't feel the need to text back, so there is your answer.

[goingcrazy123]

ya thats kinda how I feel. I want to block her number but part of me wants to leave it unblocked incase she writes in a day or so. Am I crazy?

[Shanex]

Ignoring texts during a RS is rude, especially how friendly you've been all around, or so it seems.

 

I suggest you let this one go. No regrets possible. She's a roller-coaster of emotions.

[goingcrazy123]

I have been super friendly and straight forward no games from my end. What does RS mean sorry I am new here! Thanks

[Shanex]

I have been super friendly and straight forward no games from my end. What does RS mean sorry I am new here! Thanks

 

Abbreviation for relationship, at least that's how I use it.

 

As for your post above mine. You don't have to block her, just ignore and have some self-respect.

[goingcrazy123]

Thank you. Appreciate your advice.

[Frozensushi]

Yes, be a man and just walk away and never look back. The "let's be friends" thing rarely succeeds. The hot and cold act is only messing with your emotions. Return the favor and just ignore her. She will most likely reach out to you and if you have the strength resist the urge to respond. It's very hard but she's stringing you along.

 

She's using the texts to feed her ego and get her relationship "fix". Don't give in, take back your power and don't be a doormat. If you do get a text, come here and ask for help, whatever you do, resist.

[aloneinaz]

Here's the deal my friend. She's playing you like a piano. She has all the control and power. Why? Because YOU'RE allowing it!

 

She's either a major flake or a major game player. Either way, BLOCK HER and move on w/your life. In all likelihood, she's dating others and is enjoying being single again. She's keeping you on the back burner to entertain herself and to get her ego stroked. STOP PROVIDING that to her. Find your pride and self esteem.

 

YES, you need to change your phone number or have the balls to block her. Personally, I think you should change your phone number. Then, read the NC thread a few times and apply it to your life.

 

When you're ready, get out there and date and find someone new. You guys had a good run. The reality is....once the relationship breaks up, it should stay that way.

[VienneseCoffee]

I have to agree with everyone else that you should move on. I have been in your situation recently and it won't end well... flake or game player is exactly right. Or she just won't move on until she has someone new lined up and until then will keep bothering you every once in a while to mess with your head.

[goingcrazy123]

This one is for everyone with a broken heart. You will heal!! My story short and sweet.

 

Broke up end of sept things just wernt working. Was a 4 year relationship with many ups and downs. She called it off and I agreed. For weeks I beat myself up wondering if she would come back. Got breadcrumbs which never amounted to anything. Had one conversation in person a few weeks later that was basically closure. A few more breadcrumbs which like the last were nothing.

 

I thought about her every single day for about 2 months all day long. I took up running got into shape lost 40 lbs looking great now. Then if finally happened I had just had enough. I just could not take it anymore. I gave up all hope and let it go. I went out and started dating. Found someone that is so much better. I am so much happier now. Thanks everyone on this site for your stories and shared advice its awesome.

 

I want everyone to know that I feel your pain. It takes time. But you will heal. You will find someone better. Keep your head up and keep moving forward! Focus on yourself. IT WILL GET BETTER!!!! The no contact is for you. Its not to get them back. Its for you to clear your head. It works. It works awesome if you follow it!!!!!

[kel224]

Glad you made it through the other end, in good time too!

[goingcrazy123]

Need advice with my "on the fence sitter"

 

4 months after break up (she dumped me saying this isnt working) she reaches out and texts me once every other week or so we have small talk texts. I got sick of the scattered communication (which she always initiates) I called her last night. We talked. I asked if we could meet up and catch up. She always said she wanted to be friends if we didnt work out so I offered it. I feel that I am very indifferent about our relationship and at a point where I would like to be friends. Its been 4 months since break up. I have accepted that its over and what I did wrong I am ok with it. I do miss talking to her though as a friend. I asked if we could grab a bite to eat sometime. She said yes but she said shes hesitant to see me. She said she is 50 / 50 on the fact that she still loves me but hates me too. She was all emotional on the phone. She gave me a maybe to next weekend. So what do I do? No contact? Should I pursue the friendship? Give her space? I havnt really considered trying to get back together with her and to be honest I was taken back she was so emotional I figured we were over it and could now be friends but maybe she needs more time as shes sitting on the fence right now. She says when she does not talk to me shes fine but when she talks to me she gets all emotional and feels for me again.

Edited January 20, 2017 by goingcrazy123

[SerPundnes]

I would go NC. See if she follows up on the meeting next weekend.

If she dosen't reach out, you got your answer, my friend.

 

She dumped you, so give her space. Aaaaall the space she needs.

 

4 months isn't that long. I'm pretty sure none of you are in any place where a friendship would be a success.

[jamili]

3.5 year relationship and she dumps you over a little insignificant argument? And now she say she loves you and "hates" you? Well, there is obviously more to this that you dont know about. She's clearly not telling you the full story. My guess is she has been wanting out for a while now, for whatever reasons (probably the typical reasons - loss of attraction).

 

If she's doing the on the fence/conflicted thing with you, the best move is hard NC immediately and disappear from her life. Let her feel the loss. I wouldn't be surprised if it takes her at least 6 months to even start the regret process and reflection/introspection. During that time you need to be a ghost so that she feels she has lost you forever.. this way she panics and has nothing to grip on to.. this will force her to make a decision one way or another. This is when you will find out what her choice is. For now, be dead to her and start moving on.

 

I also personally don't believe that "exes are exes for a reason" or that "exes should always stay exes" etc., people learn, grow and change. People also make mistakes that 5hey later regret. If she someday realizes she did and contacts you with legit reconciliation intentions, after a long period of NC, you can then decide what you want to do.