mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 i think my bf was flirting w/ my best friend who he went out w/ be4. when i confronted him about it on the phone, he said that he wasnt. so i sent him an email explaining what my best friend told me. he still hasnt read the email and i am so nervous. idk what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Why does the idea of your boyfriend flirting bother you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by mini_me123 i think my bf was flirting w/ my best friend who he went out w/ be4. when i confronted him about it on the phone, he said that he wasnt. so i sent him an email explaining what my best friend told me. he still hasnt read the email and i am so nervous. idk what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 this bothers me b/c i see him flirting w/ her and well it just does. i mean u dont go over to ur girlfriends house and flirt w/ ur ex girl friend do u? but idk for sure if he was or not. my best friend swears that he was and my ma said that she could notice it alittle too and she was getting alittle pissed off at him Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 well, what did he do? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Did you see him flirting? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 ya i did see him flirting a little. but that is when i called him the next day and asked him about it and he said that he wasnt. and he doesnt lie to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 What do you consider flirting? And as already said before, what did he do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 he was giving her a lot of attention. he would tease her a lot and he would say " ok i am going to be nice to u. let's shake on it." and the last time that he did i wasnt around and she said that he held onto her hand for too long. but she also exagerates alot too. except she said that she wasnt this time. so idk who to believe. my best friend or my boyfriend who is also my best friend. all 3 of us were going down the stairs and he said to her..."ladies first" so she went and when i went to go...he went to. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by mini_me123 he was giving her a lot of attention. he would tease her a lot and he would say " ok i am going to be nice to u. let's shake on it." and the last time that he did i wasnt around and she said that he held onto her hand for too long. but she also exagerates alot too. except she said that she wasnt this time. so idk who to believe. my best friend or my boyfriend who is also my best friend. all 3 of us were going down the stairs and he said to her..."ladies first" so she went and when i went to go...he went to. how long have you been going out? i think it IS kinda rude, especially if your GF is there! Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Maybe he's being rude at times, but I don't know that I'd consider that flirting. Why is your boyfriend and your best-friend hanging out together when you're not around? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 me and him have been going out for alittle more than 4 months and the reason that they were hanging out w/o me was b/c we had the 4-wheeler out and it was my turn so then they would be alone and then sometimes i would have to go to the bathroom and stuff. my gf said that he was and that when ever she turned around, he would be there. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky Maybe he's being rude at times, but I don't know that I'd consider that flirting. Why is your boyfriend and your best-friend hanging out together when you're not around? true-that! maybe that is the only way he knows how to "communicate" with women, in a flirtatious way.....plus it IS your Best Freiend, so maybe he was being extra nice, for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 ya that's what he said but i just still dont know if he still has feelings for her. i sent him an email and i told him what my gf said and i am getting nervous b/c he didnt read it yet. i just got off the phone w/ him like an hour ago. and then me and my gf send letters back and forth just for fun and i told her that i am still thinking about what happened saturday w/ the flirting and stuff and then i said," now i wont get mad. tell me the truth. do u still have feelings for him?" after all...they did go out for a year be4 and then she broke up w/ him and went out w/ him again. and in the email i told him that i couldnt stop thinking "what if he still has feelings twards her" b/c i think that i should be perfectly honest about this to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Your boyfriend has had a relationship with your best-friend so there will always be a different level of intimacy with her than he might have with another friend. You need to keep this in mind as you decide whether or not to continue the relationship with him. If you're unable to come to terms with the previous relationship that they had, then you may want to consider ending the relationship. You can't change their past. I don't know if I like the idea of your best-friend calling you and informing you that your boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, is flirting with her. I find it hard to completely overlook some ulterior motives on either side - your boyfriend or your best-friend. Not knowing the facts regarding their break-up and how you came to dating your best-friend's ex-boyfriend makes it hard to determine if there are still some unresolved feelings on either side. I have no issues with someone dating the previous boyfriend/girlfriend of a friend, however in this instance it just seems more confusing than it may be with it. You're putting yourself in a situation that could contribute a lot of stress and emotional confusion between the three of you. If you didn't spend so much time with your friend, in fact if she wasn't your best-friend, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad, but I really don't see how you three are supposed to be together and not have some flirting between you. In my opinion, find another boyfriend. You've got yourself in a rather sticky situation. If that doesn't work, then you have to realize that your best-friend was you in a previous relationship. The door was opened long before you were dating him for sexual innuendos. It's hard to just turn that off, especially when you still spend time with that person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 umm...i am not going to end the realationship. i really love him. and there is no sex! eww gross i am only 14. oh and he did keep on bringing up some past situations that i didnt know about b/c i just met him this year and they have been friends since the 4th grade. he kept on asking her or bringing up when they were going out. and like i said. i REALLY love him and i dont think that we should break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 so..do u think being honest is the right thing and just tell him how i feel? b/c we agreed that we would be honest w/ each other. and what i keep on thinking to make me feel better is that me and him have only been going out for 4 months and we have gotten further in out realationship than my best friend has who went out w/ him for a year. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerC Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 You are 14, you don't know what love is. That's not really flirting either, lighten up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 well...actually i do know about love...ok? and i just wnted to know what i should do. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 [*]You must understand that your best-friend and boyfriend have already established a year-long intimate relationship. Their interaction isn't going to be the same as two friends that never dated. They will flirt and more than likely it will be unknowingly because the norm in their relationship was established while they were romantically involved for a year. [*]Stop talking to your best-friend about your boyfriend. The three of you aren't in a relationship and since they already dated for a year you're not receiving an unbiased opinion when you gather information from either side. [*]Talk with your boyfriend and clearly establish what behavior makes you uncomfortable so your boyfriend understands what will and what won't bother you. As a side note, what you provided as an example in my opinion isn't flirting. [/list=1] Link to post Share on other sites
TylerC Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by mini_me123 well...actually i do know about love...ok? and i just wnted to know what i should do. No, you don't. I did tell you what you should do too, I said lighten up, that's not flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mini_me123 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 well...yes i do know about love and dont tell me that i dont b/c i do. and it's my best friend that is saying that it is flirting. She told me everything Link to post Share on other sites
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