She loves me but doesn't want to hurt me

[Mliu]

Hi guys.

 

My girlfriend and I kind of broke up but She still likes me and I like her but she is refusing to rekindle what we had because she doesn't want to hurt me again and my colleagues got inside her head by saying she isn't the one.

 

my colleagues supports me and wants me to be happy and thinks that she is not the one. I refuse to believe that.

 

My girlfriend and I had 2 arguments in 2 months and I agree that is a lot but if I wasn't so paranoid at the beginning of our relationship, the argument would not had happen and that would not trigger the second augment.

 

She blames herself for all the arguments and that I did nothing wrong to to cause the argument. I was partly to blame even though she refuses to believe that

 

I spoke to my girlfriend tonight and she is refusing to rekindle what we had. She still likes me and that I'm an amazing person.

 

Do you think we should have another shot on this or break up officially?

 

It would a utter shame if she likes me a lot but refuses to be with me because she might hurt me again.

[Satu]

Just listen to what she says and respect it.

 

The bottom line is that she doesn't want to be with you.

 

That is her feeling, her decision, her want.

 

She might change her mind, but leave it to her to decide for herself.

 

 

Take care.

[Mliu]

Just listen to what she says and respect it.

 

The bottom line is that she doesn't want to be with you.

 

That is her feeling, her decision, her want.

 

She might change her mind, but leave it to her to decide for herself.

 

 

Take care.

 

I think you are absolutely right. I should respect her decision and break-up. Right now I'm like a needy ex trying to rekindle what we had.

it's going to be difficult time when we break up.

[Satu]

I think you are absolutely right. I should respect her decision and break-up. Right now I'm like a needy ex trying to rekindle what we had.

it's going to be difficult time when we break up.

 

It will be difficult, but you'll come out the other end of it and move on to even better things.

 

 

Take care.

[dumbass2]

I think you are absolutely right. I should respect her decision and break-up. Right now I'm like a needy ex trying to rekindle what we had.

it's going to be difficult time when we break up.

 

She's made her decision and from what you have said, she has already broken up with you. There's no "kinda broke up". There's no trying to talk someone in to changing their mind when it comes to romantic relationships. Best thing is probably to let her know that if you two aren't meant to be in a romantic relatioship, that it is best that you don't stay in contact because you can't just be friends with her. No matter how bad you want to keep her in your life, you can't just be friends until the romantic feelings are gone on both sides and that it extremely hard to do especially so soon after.

[Marc878]

She's done with you but is trying to let you down easy.

 

You are being needy, clingy which just pushes her even faster away.

 

If you chase they will flee.

 

Time to learn and grow up a bit.

[benpom]

Hi guys.

 

My girlfriend and I kind of broke up but She still likes me and I like her but she is refusing to rekindle what we had because she doesn't want to hurt me again and my colleagues got inside her head by saying she isn't the one.

 

my colleagues supports me and wants me to be happy and thinks that she is not the one. I refuse to believe that.

 

My girlfriend and I had 2 arguments in 2 months and I agree that is a lot but if I wasn't so paranoid at the beginning of our relationship, the argument would not had happen and that would not trigger the second augment.

 

She blames herself for all the arguments and that I did nothing wrong to to cause the argument. I was partly to blame even though she refuses to believe that

 

I spoke to my girlfriend tonight and she is refusing to rekindle what we had. She still likes me and that I'm an amazing person.

 

Do you think we should have another shot on this or break up officially?

 

It would a utter shame if she likes me a lot but refuses to be with me because she might hurt me again.

 

People make decisions based on emotions / feelings, and then justify the decision with logic.

 

The reason she wants to break up with you is that she is not happy with you. To elaborate this point, I think when she says she does not want to hurt you, it really means something like this: when you are hurt, you make her feel guilty, you stop taking care of her, you stop inspiring her and this in turn makes her unhappy.

 

I am guessing you are a little sensitive and she is a little careless. It's what you guys were built to be like from past experiences.

 

Look up the 180 degree in this forum and implement those points that you think make sense, if you want her back.

[ExpatInItaly]

What do you mean you "kind of" broke up?

[DarrenB]

Sometimes you cannot fix certain situations. Sometimes you can, but are they really worth it? personal preference I guess.

 

I agree with dumb, there is no 'kinda breaking up' scenarios. Unless you're 15/16 or a young teen then sure, but I don't think there's no such thing in the more elder age/s.

 

It's hard to let go after making mistakes, it's hard to let go of the person of whom you were so occupied and in love with, but what you must understand is you don't truly know how they feel. Given what she's said, there's many assumptions that can be made that she is in fact letting you down easily, in a way also being cowardly by not being straightforward and telling you directly how she actually feels. Some people are like that, some people neglect and say nothing, some people lie because they can't be honest.

 

Let this one go, friend. There's always someone else, they will appear in time.

[Mliu]

She still loves me but doesn't trust me any more. I want to regain her trust in me but she believes that I will lie to her again. So no matter what I say tomorrow, she will not believe me so my question is... How can I regain her trust again?

 

I told her "mark my words, I will not say a word to them tomorrow at work" She told me to message her tomorrow with the truth, so thats what i am going to do. She might have a hard time believing that but it's a start I guess.

 

We have broken up and remained friends but I feel there is a connection between us.

[ExpatInItaly]

She still loves me but doesn't trust me any more. I want to regain her trust in me but she believes that I will lie to her again. So no matter what I say tomorrow, she will not believe me so my question is... How can I regain her trust again?

 

I told her "mark my words, I will not say a word to them tomorrow at work" She told me to message her tomorrow with the truth, so thats what i am going to do. She might have a hard time believing that but it's a start I guess.

 

We have broken up and remained friends but I feel there is a connection between us.

 

What did you lie about? What is it she wants you to message her about with "the truth"?

 

If she doesn't want to work on things, then there isn't a way to regain her trust. That can only happen if she wants to keep dating you.

[Mliu]

Hi guys ,

It's the "ex"

Basically we started dating- he "accidentally" called me fat and was embarrassed to be seen with me.

Naturally that didn't go down to well however he apologised a few days later and we made up. After all we all make mistakes and I wasn't kind with my own words after he had made those remarks.

Anyway fast forward and this weekend his friends decided I was a b**** and not worth him and was bang out of order for making him apologise after he had called me fat.

Given we all work at the same building it was all very awkward. They refuse to speak to me and refuse to work alongside me -

I was upset that he had got them involved in our relationship and also that he didn't say anything to his friends about how perhaps they could be adult and support him without acting so childishly towards me.

So I broke up with him. Not because I wanted to but because if his friends think so little of me because of that surely there must be something majorly wrong with me??? Or perhaps I am hurting him and he is not telling me that I am acting in a unkind way but sharing this information with his friends our work colleagues instead.

He told me he had spoken with you guys and I thought it best to share my side too - perhaps if his friends are feeling they need to protect him from me then I really am the problem.

So... that's my side of the story anyway

Thanks for listening

J

[Sequitur328]

I think if she does not want to hurt you again she obviously cares a lot about you. Maybe sometimes we get in too much of a hurry? Maybe becoming friends right now is the most important thing you two can do? Sorry I don't have any amazing answers or advice for you, but I will pray for your relationship with her.

[DarrenB]

Hi guys ,

It's the "ex"

Basically we started dating- he "accidentally" called me fat and was embarrassed to be seen with me.

Naturally that didn't go down to well however he apologised a few days later and we made up. After all we all make mistakes and I wasn't kind with my own words after he had made those remarks.

Anyway fast forward and this weekend his friends decided I was a b**** and not worth him and was bang out of order for making him apologise after he had called me fat.

Given we all work at the same building it was all very awkward. They refuse to speak to me and refuse to work alongside me -

I was upset that he had got them involved in our relationship and also that he didn't say anything to his friends about how perhaps they could be adult and support him without acting so childishly towards me.

So I broke up with him. Not because I wanted to but because if his friends think so little of me because of that surely there must be something majorly wrong with me??? Or perhaps I am hurting him and he is not telling me that I am acting in a unkind way but sharing this information with his friends our work colleagues instead.

He told me he had spoken with you guys and I thought it best to share my side too - perhaps if his friends are feeling they need to protect him from me then I really am the problem.

So... that's my side of the story anyway

Thanks for listening

J

 

Er, sorry... what the heck?

 

An ex has access to the OP's LoveShack account?

[dumbass2]

Er, sorry... what the heck?

 

An ex has access to the OP's LoveShack account?

 

This is bizarre. don't think I've seen an ex or current partner posting within a thread to offer up another side to the OP story.

[Been]

Why don't you think his friends like you? It's very rare that friends won't like a someone's girlfriend/boyfriend unless they either seen something or know something about you that isn't good. So what is it?

[Mliu]

OP here.

 

I told my ex that my colleague didn't like her and she is out of order. I didn't defend her and she got the impression that I wasn't doing enough to protect her and that my colleague is seeing her as the bad guy. She feels that they are avoiding her, not talking to her and doesn't want to work alongside with her.

 

I feel very bad about this but right. We argued last night about this and I'm saying it's a misunderstanding (which I genuinely believes) but she was having non of it. Now she hates me along with my colleagues.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's time to walk away from all of this.

 

Too much drama.

[DarrenB]

It's time to walk away from all of this.

 

Too much drama.

 

Agreed, too much nonsense

[William]

It's time to walk away from all of this.

 

Too much drama.

 

Agreed, this one will remain closed ~T