Author amerikajin Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 I know that there are shades of gray here. The point is that a woman is sexually compelled to masculinity first. Even though a metrosexual can have a nice face, flashes a charming smile and says all the right things, a woman is first going to be drawn to the barrel chested, silent dude, playing pool sporting the Clint Black look with his black cowboy hat, boots and blue jeans...as opposed to the Ralph Lauren poster boy. A man is who he is, just as Record Producer said. But women would prefer that a man be masculine enough to protect her, which equates to the ability to occasionally, dare I say, dominate her. I don't mean that a woman wants to be dominated and have her feet bound like some concubine, but I think that a woman needs a man to be the stronger of the two. And a woman's instinct tells her that the amount of ruggedness or masculinity evident in the guy equates to protection - at least initially. Of course, what comes out of his mouth has everything to do with his success or failure thereafter - we all know that. But I mean, even if you're a smooth talker, smart, charming and everything else a woman desires, it all starts with attraction. And if you're not masculine enough, she's always going to be thinking "Thanks for the offer, let me think about it," while she waits for the more masculine guy with those same qualities. The bottom line is, a man has to meet her basic minimum requirements for masculinity. If he doesn't, he's out. It explains why the guy who's perhaps a tad overweight beats out the guy runs five kilometers everyday and keeps his figure; it explains why some 43 year old manager beats out a 24 year old staffer (well, money doesn't hurt, but that's also part of the greater masculinity/provider equation). Speaking of that, it's an interesting phenomenon, because as I've gotten older, I've actually gotten better with women (which seems illogical in my mind). But I know why: when I was 24, I was actually in my physical prime - worked out everyday and had no wrinkles on my face. But there's something else I didn't have - confidence. Now, I don't take nearly as much s*** as I used to, and I have a better understanding of who I am, and I find it much easier to deal with women. But I still sometimes lose out on women I'd love to be with, and it's probably because some women, while they will think I'm cute and cuddly (their words, not my vanity speaking), will probably pass me by for a rough neck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amerikajin Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 (sorry for the multiple posts. Error with the system and I couldn't go back) Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin Intelligence, assets and other things equal, you have a choice: A) Macho guy: Not always sensitive. Not the type to throw out a comment about how good you look, but does so sparingly. Not the most elegant guy, but definitely a take-no-s*** rugged man. Sports a beard, or a mustache, or maybe a five o'clock shadow. Muscles? He's got 'em. Doesn't always smile, but he does smile enough to let you know he's got a personality and a soul. B) Metro guy (or perhaps, suave guy in some circles): fairly tall, slender, with a pretty face - sorta like one of those young preppy Ralph Lauren dudes. Dresses and grooms himself well. He's not the most muscled guy out there, but he has something to show for his occasional exercise habits. There are a couple of flaws in your lines of demarcation. First off, Metro is usually more muscular than Macho. It's silly to presume that male vanity stops at clothing and hair. Second, it is more expensive to be Metro than Macho, so a man who dresses and grooms himself well is going to send off more pointed signals of wealth than a man who appears more rugged. I don't think it's unreasonable for a woman to want a man who is well built and strong, but also dresses adequately well, although not in a particularly trendy manner. Finally, there's always the fun case of a man who is very well built, very well dressed and groomed, and takes no crap, but happens to be a little evil and sadistic. That's your option C for you, ladies. Nobody is perfect, or even necessarily the right type. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin Well, by my count, it's 6 for macho, 1 for metro, and 1 no-vote (sorry, you can only choose one OR the other). Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by miss-gonewest Because what I like, ain't necesarily good for me! LOL. TOTALLY!! I'm trying to train myself to not go for the INSTANT attraction: it always has the same outcome. I need to go for a (b)…… or at least a less masculine type. I LOVE this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Israfil Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 METRO all the way...... (with a quiet air of confidence / arrogance about his intellect) Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae TOTALLY!! I'm trying to train myself to not go for the INSTANT attraction: that's impossible. growing a tail would be easier Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale that's impossible. growing a tail would be easier Alphamale, GRRRR. Yes, it is possible, and if it’s not, I’m destined for a lifetime of heartache because the ones I am attracted to keep doin’ me wrong. I can only subject myself to this for so long without re-examining WTF I’m doing. I'm tired of the macho bad boys. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae I'm tired of the macho bad boys. I think that is why you have so much negative emotion towards me, SUMMERRAE....because I am one of those "bad boys" that you love to hate! Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Metro There's something about a well dressed guy that smells real good that drives me crazy. I can't stand a man who can't dress himself. I especially hate those arrogant abercrombie types who always seem to be wearing polos and cargo shorts. It's like you're not in high school anymore, dress like a man. Metro men just seem to have their act together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amerikajin Posted July 14, 2005 Author Share Posted July 14, 2005 Okay, Well, I'm going to count enigma's as leaning toward metro, so that's one more for the metro guys, who seem to be on a bit of a roll as of late - at least in this poll. So far, I've got: 7 for macho 4 for metro 2 undecided or "write in" ballots. lol! But for the purposes of this little experiment of mine, you should choose ONE or the OTHER. Just imagine yourself being on an island with two guys, metro and macho. You've got to populate the island - who's gonna help you pass on your DNA and create some new natives? Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I think that is why you have so much negative emotion towards me, SUMMERRAE....because I am one of those "bad boys" that you love to hate! Aren't you the QUICK study!! Actually, ALPHAMALE, it's because even if I said "the sky is blue" you would still disagree and say, "no, it's not, it's green." Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Amerikajin, you're right about defining masculinity as a synonym for provider and protector. We have leftovers in our genes from the times when we barely talked, but had families. We have radars for men just like you have for women. I just don't see how you can fool a woman that you're masculine by looking masculine. In fact, my BF doesn't look macho at all. He is thin and blond. But when you observe his movements, the way he talk and walks, the way he treats people, and what he says, you get the real picture. It comes from the inside. He is the male on the both sides of the medal. He is successful and the typical boss type. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 My Macho man is due back from being away for a few months. But in the meantime I have become friends with Metro man. I'm having a difficult time with this because as much as I love Macho, I have feelings of doubt that it will really work and that past history will repeat itself. But when I cast the doubts aside everything seems so wonderful, the soulful connection we share is like nothing I've ever experienced (not to mention the sex). He is Macho in that he can do just about anything with his hands from building cars to houses! He's muscular, a few big tattoos, and swears alot (in a cute way). He is very clean however, personal and home, so maybe a bit metro? Metro man on the other hand, is into me lately, and besides being a very nice guy, I think he's kinda hot too! A friend of mine who graduated with him 25 yrs ago, and hasn't seen him since, said he was always a nerd. He works out now, and I think he's kind of handy (built an addition on his house, but not sure it was all him), and maybe not 100% metro (massages but no manicures as far as i know. But I don't know him really well yet, but I have the opportunity. He has his own business, and is very wealthy (not that this matters to me - I do just fine by myself financially). The problem with BOTH of them is they are both business owners and work work work alot alot alot. This is all fine and dandy, but when and if things become more serious, with either one, it's the one who makes me feel important enough to make time for, and not just be a fill-in girl (as mentioned in another long lost post). I don't think anyone can say what they prefer, macho or metro, because as RP said, it comes from the inside. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 A metro guy who's macho in bed. Grrrrrrrrooowwwllllllllll!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Definately A. I'm not attracted to trendy guys who have that clean cut fresh look with slabs of hairgel globbed on their heads. Give me the Marlboro man anyday! Link to post Share on other sites
Aimée Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Give me the Marlboro man anyday! The Marlboro man died of lung cancer, didn't he? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Yup I think so. He was still goodlookin'. Ok Clint Eastwood then. (Younger version) Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Russell Crowe. yummmmmmmmmmmm Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken Russell Crowe. yummmmmmmmmmmm jessica simpson, mmmmmmm Link to post Share on other sites
millefiori Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Yup I think so. He was still goodlookin'. Ok Clint Eastwood then. (Younger version) I think people often wear a facade. We think we get a real man when he acts like this or that, but often he just hides his weaknesses under the mask of a strong man. And in this case we have someone who looked very manly and strong, who thought smoking had to be a part of the image he was striving to present to people. In the end it killed him. Often there is so much insecurity behind the macho men that they can be very boring. And metro men? Give me a break... There's a difference between taking care of oneself and engaging in excessive grooming. Asking a question like this - where you have to choose between two extremes - reveals that the questioner is mislead and on the wrong path in his quest for a better understanding of people. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori I think people often wear a facade. We think we get a real man when he acts like this or that, but often he just hides his weaknesses under the mask of a strong man. All people of both sexes hide their weaknesses and insecurities under some type of mask. And I have never met anyone who did not have at least one weakness or insecurity. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 I think most want a balance. Don't want just macho, but don't want just metro either. This falls into the same category of the bad guy/nice guy. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup I think most want a balance. Don't want just macho, but don't want just metro either. This falls into the same category of the bad guy/nice guy. agreed WWIU, unfortunately, few men fall in this category mainly cause it also takes intellect to pull it off. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Sorry, Amerikajin. I can't choose. Option C. I like tall, skinny men that are toned. I do not like super muscle guys. They're gross, IMHO. I'd prefer if he did know how to dress himself, but I also want him to be outdoorsy when the occasion calls for it. He should know how to cook and be able to express himself emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
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