CrazyIGuess Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Hi all again! Well, a few days have passed now since I had sent that guy the email. Well, it's been six days to be exact and he still hasn't replied, in fact, it seems as though he's been avoiding me. We had been flirting for a while now I'd say a few months. He would look at me all the time. I NEVER even imagined that I would be into this guy because he just wasn't really my type. But he would do things, certain things that you would do only if you were interested in someone. He would stare at me quite often. And he would always smile at me and wave at me. But only to me, never to my co-workers. We would also talk about personal stuff, somewhat personal stuff. So I started to email him and he would reply back, ALWAYS. He never seemed to have a problem with it. In fact he even told me to call him a few times. And I did once. So our communication part at least grew and I thought that this would be a great time to let him know that I am interested. But not neccesarily in those words. I told him that he was intriguing. He now has NOT replied to my email and has been in "hiding" since then. What exactly did I do wrong? Did I move too fast? Was I supposed to let HIM pursue ME? Did he get intimidated in any way? I am a more than average attractive young 24 year old woman who is interested in this man who is 31. I felt that he was giving me these "vibes" that he was interested and now I let him know about my attraction to him and he gets scared? What happened??? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Maybe he's in a relationship and doesn't want to fish from the company pier... Link to post Share on other sites
TOE Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Hi, there. You don't know for SURE that he's avoiding you. It COULD be that he simply hasn't checked his emial in a week. Give it a few more days. Relax and forget about it. He will write back.. But in the meantime, if you wanted to know whether he actually READ you emials or not, and when and for how long they were read, and opened for how many times you could at your own option use email tracking services such as http://www.readnotify.com (and they offer a two week free trial) That ways you won't have to "worry" "think" and fret about it all day long and you can get a peace of mind, if you send another email and you know he doesn't even read it , or if you reads it for like 10 minutes and re reads it several times later, you'll get a more definite answer as to whether he likes no or not. Nothing is foolproof but its better than fretting about it and mere speculation. Don't worry too much about it, I believe he will write back. But the more important thing to realize, (even though it may be the last thing you want to do right now) is to ask yourself do you REALLY like him?? YOu can easily get what you want on the little things but are you in the right direction, (is he really that intriging as you think he is?) Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by TOE Hi, there. You don't know for SURE that he's avoiding you. It COULD be that he simply hasn't checked his emial in a week. No guy goes a week without checking his e-mail, especially when he's been flirting with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
TOE Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Oh and one more thing.. Maybe it would be better if you just let it go. I mean you said it yourself plenty of times that "I was just curious as to why he wouldn't respond..". So I sense that you are more "curious" about the situation ITSELF than actually in HIM. Put it another way, it seems to me that your intriguement and curiosity stems from the odd way the situation turned out (him suddenly avoiding you) and not in him as the person. You also said that "I think that this is just a water cooler type of romance since it is at work and I don't think it would ever go anywhere. " And since you are leaving in a few weeks why start something now.. As to why he is not responding, thats anyones guess. I suggest however that you should call him soon and basically just be upfront and kindly ask him if everythings okay and why he hasn't been emailing you back. Be geniunely concerned and ask him if he'd like to do something with you. THere's really no need to wait it out, if you really want to know it that bad then just pick up the phone and call, at the very least your curiousity will be satisfied. However if I were to guess why he isn't emailing you back, it would most likely be either of three main reasons. 1) Its a tactic to get you more interested in him He playing games with you and messing with your mind (which is wrong) He knows that you are interested,curious,and intrigued by him. He's always emailed you back promptly, and he's been hitting on you at work from day one, so obviously he's into you. So therefore he knows if he suddenly and abruptly cut off lines of communication you will reaction in exactly the way you are reacting right now, and he's expecting and welcoming that becuase he can use it to his advantage. Like you said he's 31, and your 24 and above average in attaction. You didn't think he was your type at first, and he probably didn't think he'd get a chance with you. Now that he does and he knows (or thinks he knows) how desperately on the hook you are, it wouldn't surprise me if he decided to use a bit of pyscho leverage to keep you and draw you in further than you would normally go. If thats the case He's playing you like a harp and don't deserve your attention 2) He doesn't want to get hurt Maybe he seriously likes you and doesn't want to get hurt. If he knows that you are moving in two weeks, and that you two won't be seeing each other often anymore, he doesn't want to put to much hope into it becuase he suspects it will all crumble to dissapointment and loss for him in the end. Or it could be that he is taking it much more serious than you and he senses that you aren't into it for the long term and he doesnt want to get scarred and would rather end it now. 3) He likes you as a friend only, plain and simple But whatever, you shall know soon enough.. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer No guy goes a week without checking his e-mail, especially when he's been flirting with someone. A day tops .. That would be like not checking the old answering machine for messages from girls after a friday night out when I was younger Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Like I suggested in a previous post - maybe he didn't even receive the email to begin with? Did she send it to a webbased hotmail or yahoo acct? I've definitely had people send me letters to those and I never did receive them or sometimes it took weeks! Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by shygurl Like I suggested in a previous post - maybe he didn't even receive the email to begin with? Did she send it to a webbased hotmail or yahoo acct? I've definitely had people send me letters to those and I never did receive them or sometimes it took weeks! He got it. If it's the same e-mail address as before, he got it. Trust me... Link to post Share on other sites
TOE Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Not to repeat whats already been said (not intentionally anyway) It is slightly possible he didn't recieve it. I know 99.9% of the time emails don't get lost or corrupt in transmittion, but I can swear I remember incidents where it truly has been lost before. Don't ask me how but it happens, it happened to me at least. So there is a chance he never got the message or it accidentally got filtered into the spam/bulk category and he never got a chance to look at it. Or he could have been clearing out his inbox and using the "select all" + "delete" function and accidentally erasing it before he even new he got the 'new' mail .. Or you could check your SENT folder to see if you actually sent the mail, sometimes people think they sent something they didn't. Thats why for important messages I always keep two backups and send the message twice just incase the first one got lost in the transmittion process or it somehow gets overlooked by the reciever. One way to find out for sure is to call and ask him Just some thoughts.. Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 A simple solution would be to go to a particular online greeting card site I know of...that has all kinds of greeting cards (free) that you can send by email and if you select it, you'll receive an email notifying you that the recipient picked up your card. She could simply send him a silly card, something funny......just say something in it like, "hey! how's it going? Haven't heard back from you since I wrote a week ago, did I say something that offended you?" bemine(dot)com is the site I'm referring to. She's got nothing to lose, he either responds or doesnt. Link to post Share on other sites
fiatflux Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 You said something very important in your other post: Also, this might throw a loop hole in the situation but I know he has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. The thing is that he NEVER mentions her and he's NEVER asked me if I was with anyone. He talks about his kids but never the girlfriend. He doesn't know that I know he has a gf. The obvious conclusion is that, yes, your email freaked him out and he wants to back off. Link to post Share on other sites
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