Seperated, with house sale looming.

[mikestr]

​Hello all, I am new to this forum so hopefully I can make some sense here!

 

Myself and my wife have been married 16 years and have gradually grown apart. Sad but true, and I suppose it happens to millions of couples every day.

 

We constantly seemed to argue at the slightest things, name calling, didn't really like each other, but on the other hand were really in love and wouldnt know really what to do without each other.

 

We have had nasty arguments in the past, which has resulted with one of us (usually her) storming out but coming back later and making up. However after a rough year in 2016 with various other things, we started to sleep apart (my fault really) and I got used to the uninterrupted and peaceful sleep. I started to doubt (maybe a few years back if im honest) whether she was right for me and a friend, due to the personal insults and name calling that happens during heated arguments.

 

Also my feelings towards finding her attractive seemed to dwindle a while back which is very sad, but again does happen..

 

On top of this she started doing her own things, and myself also, so we drifted in that regard too.

 

We are just about to sell our rental property, which we decided earlier this year (before any split) to pay off our home mortgage.

Since then with stresses and strains, we have argued and I sadly have left home, I should point out that we have no children either.

 

As this is all raw and new to me, with the shock and upset, I just wanted to know if I can claim some of the house sale proceeds to live on now that we are apart?

The main aim was to pay off the mortgage for both of us, but she has a good job and the main home/house, so can afford it. I was thinking of maybe 20% of the house sale, maybe I am being silly and should ask for 50% as its jointly in both our names.

 

Obviously these are raw times and its all new to both of us, and the last thing I want to do is cause any upset or bitterness, and try and keep it civil.

 

Thank you for any help.

[PegNosePete]

You should see a lawyer. There is no "formula" for divorce so it's impossible to say whether you'll get 20% or 50% or 80% based on the scant information you've given. It also works very differently in different countries, states, etc. A lawyer will look at ALL the figures and tell you a likely outcome in your jurisdiction.

 

One thing you should NOT do is to sell the house or agree to any kind of split before getting divorced or at least consulting a lawyer. If it's not too late to halt the sale of the rental house then you should also stop that from going ahead until you've seen a lawyer for advice.

 

Moving out of the family home is usually a bad move financially so you may have shot yourself in the foot once already. Don't shoot yourself in the other!

 

See a lawyer! Get genned up!

[Marc878]

Asset split is normally 50/50.

 

Get an attorney before you commit to anything!!!!'

[PegNosePete]

Asset split is normally 50/50.

Normally 50/50... if you're in certain jurisdictions if there aren't any kids and if incomes are approximately equal and if pensions are approximately equal and if you're approx the same ages and if it's a long marriage and if the house was purchased jointly and if debts were jointly accrued and if savings pots were jointly built up and if there isn't any other property involved and if both parties have equal needs, requirements and outgoings. Yes, then it's 50/50. But that's a lot of "if"s.

[carhill]

IMO, if the partnership is due to receive a windfall, better, if intending to file, file before rather than after, presuming the windfall is joint (it appears it is) and you want to have some sway in the process on its value and direction and don't have nefarious intent.

 

Until you or she files, generally, you are a partnership and each partner can pretty much speak for the whole and manage the joint debts and assets of the whole as an individual, mitigated somewhat by the specifics of how your financials are arranged. For example, if you have no joint accounts nor accounts with authorized cross-access, then unilateral access is more difficult.

 

I got a firsthand lesson in this now nearly 30 years ago when accompanying a MW to the bank where she withdrew a substantial five figure amount from the ranch bank account just because, as a spouse, she could. She had access even though it wasn't a joint personal account because, well, she paid the ranch bills. Poof, gone. She was going out of state and things, according to her, weren't going well.

 

If you do intend to divorce, grab up your general financial picture and get a free interview with a lawyer. They'll give you the pluses and minuses of different strategies as part of selling their services to you. It's up to you if you retain them. See a few if you want to. There's no obligation and you'll learn more about how things go in your jurisdiction.

 

Welcome to LS and please accept my sympathies. Plenty of us have been down this road. You'll make it.