Author Dusty72 Posted November 16, 2016 Author Share Posted November 16, 2016 (edited) Hi again Elaine , Was just re-reading your post and what I replied to you ......Hey , it's as if I was more in Lust with my second wife as opposed to Love.... What am I feeling , an emotional attachment , her beauty (which only is skin deep) ....so many questions , it's like I'm on this emotional rollercoaster ....but I am sick of it and want to get off..... The trouble is although I cannot see her social media I don't want to block her number on my phone (I know it off by heart any way)...I can't do that at the moment. anyway , seeing my children this weekend, staying at their place as their mum (my first wife ) is off for a girls weekend ...so really looking forward to having fun time with my kids Edited November 16, 2016 by Dusty72 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 What am I feeling , an emotional attachment , her beauty (which only is skin deep) ....so many questions , it's like I'm on this emotional rollercoaster ....but I am sick of it and want to get off..... anyway , seeing my children this weekend, staying at their place as their mum (my first wife ) is off for a girls weekend ...so really looking forward to having fun time with my kids She validated you, you were not just a run of the mill divorced dad, you were a man with a very beautiful woman on his arm. Distraction is good way of getting over loss and getting rid of unwanted thoughts, you are lucky you have your kids. You need to concentrate on them at the moment. Suppressing the 'white bears' Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dusty72 Posted November 16, 2016 Author Share Posted November 16, 2016 She validated you, you were not just a run of the mill divorced dad, you were a man with a very beautiful woman on his arm. Distraction is good way of getting over loss and getting rid of unwanted thoughts, you are lucky you have your kids. You need to concentrate on them at the moment. Suppressing the 'white bears' Thanks for the link Elaine , that's so helpful...I will practice this useful technique...once again thank you for your help. Yes a man with a beautiful woman on his arm ... this woman who and I quote verbatim "tolerated" my children ...not my words...that's what she actually told me ....even though my children were good and not naughty and would never say anything to validate her view on that , I deeply resented her saying this about my children and told her so .....why I tolerated her for so long ... that should have been my focus. She has two children and I got along fine with them , they were a bit older , but i used to take her youngest out with me and my kids to activities etc and did all the stepfatherly duties with them ...I liked them and would never have said to my ex wife that I "tolerated" her kids !! I could never understand why she was so like that...I mean she is a primary school teacher ....one would have thought that to have a job like that one would embrace children ...not villify them ?!?!? any thank you once again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lifeissomething Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 I guess this is why. With all due respect: get real. He married her and I'd like to give him the benefit that there was more than 'she was beautiful.' While she may have had questionable actions, it seems that our OP was very much in love. OP don't be too hard on yourself. I can't imagine that I'd be over a marriage in 14 months. Peruse the forums here and you'll see recovery of relationships that take longer. You tied the knot in hopes it would be forever. I wouldn't be shocked that accepting that forever is not the case, as something that takes time to heal. Stay positive. Continue being a great father. Focus on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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