Overcoming my own Shallowness...at least I recognize it.

[TalesoftheWireMonkey]

Had an ex-girlfriend come back to me.

She was the best girlfriend I ever had the best sex, treated me great everything was good. Except, I didn't find her attractive.

 

Trouble is I just came out of a relationship with another woman who wasn't good to me, sex was mediocre. But I thought she was beautiful.

 

I can't get the pretty one out of my mind.

 

I know sensibly I should embrace this new relationship but...

 

I'm discovering that looks must mean more to me than anything.

 

That's not the person that I want to be and I don't want to date this girl if I'm gonna drop her for the next pretty face.

 

I hope I can overcome my shallowness?

Edited November 14, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[bummer]

Why *fight* what turns you on and makes you happy? I bet you love that ven diagram where you can only pick 2 out of hot/fun/smart?

 

I've dated the gross girl who was amazing and fun and smart. I've dated the dim and bi-polar hot girl. I've never dated the hot and smart but dull one but I figure I could work around mediocre sex pretty easily. So that would be my preference out of the choices.

 

Perhaps you could make a evolutionary argument for your attraction preferences? Or it's just what society tell you? Remember dating is where you get to test drive a bunch to make up your mind.

 

either way, don't lead this poor girl on if you aren't that keen on her. Breaking hearts is risky business and cowardly as Bob Marley says. Don't feel bad about not being attracted to her. Just don't break her heart.

[Gloomy]

Looks matter, but only to a certain extent. You have to be attracted to the person you're with, otherwise it won't work out. You will always be second guessing your attraction and relationship.

 

It isn't shallow to have a physical preference.

 

Staying with someone while not being attracted to them isn't fair to the other person. You should let her go, let her find someone who appreciates all of her qualities.

 

You shouldn't settle for someone. In the end, both of you will be unhappy. You can find someone who you see as the entire package. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

[Buddhist]

Your attraction to the hot one probably has more to do with your familiarity with her relationship dynamic than it does the way she looks. It's well known a lot of people go for drama-type relationships because well the stable, caring and steady ones are just a lot more boring. Plus if the unstable relationship dynamic closely mirrors your family dynamic you will unconsciously be drawn to it.

[Robin Reese]

Had an ex-girlfriend come back to me.

She was the best girlfriend I ever had the best sex, treated me great everything was good. Except, I didn't find her attractive.

 

Trouble is I just came out of a relationship with another woman who wasn't good to me, sex was mediocre. But I thought she was beautiful.

 

I can't get the pretty one out of my mind.

 

I know sensibly I should embrace this new relationship but...

 

I'm discovering that looks must mean more to me than anything.

 

That's not the person that I want to be and I don't want to date this girl if I'm gonna drop her for the next pretty face.

 

I hope I can overcome my shallowness?

Dear Mr. Shallow. You must know that The most beautiful thing about a person isn’t looks, but heart and personality. Some people are beautiful in their own way.

 

 

You will regret if you chose the pretty over over the Good one.

 

Source : Beauty Quotes and Sayings (345 quotes) - CoolNSmartThe most beautiful thing about a person isn’t looks, but heart and personaility.

 

Source : Beauty Quotes and Sayings (345 quotes) - CoolNSmart

 

The most beautiful thing about a person isn’t looks, but heart and personaility.

 

Source : Beauty Quotes and Sayings (345 quotes) - CoolNSmart

The most beautiful thing about a person isn’t looks, but heart and personaility.

 

Source : Beauty Quotes and Sayings (345 quotes) - CoolNSmart

The most beautiful thing about a person isn’t looks, but heart and personaility.

 

Source : Beauty Quotes and Sayings (345 quotes) - CoolNSmart

The most beautiful thing about a person isn’t looks, but heart and personaility.

 

Source : Beauty Quotes and Sayings (345 quotes) - CoolNSmart

[Robin Reese]

Had an ex-girlfriend come back to me.

She was the best girlfriend I ever had the best sex, treated me great everything was good. Except, I didn't find her attractive.

 

Trouble is I just came out of a relationship with another woman who wasn't good to me, sex was mediocre. But I thought she was beautiful.

 

I can't get the pretty one out of my mind.

 

I know sensibly I should embrace this new relationship but...

 

I'm discovering that looks must mean more to me than anything.

 

That's not the person that I want to be and I don't want to date this girl if I'm gonna drop her for the next pretty face.

 

I hope I can overcome my shallowness?

Dear Mr. Shallow. You must know that The most beautiful thing about a person isn’t looks, but heart and personality. Some people are beautiful in their own way.

 

 

You will regret if you chose the pretty over over the Good one.

[SpiralOut]

You can't force yourself to feel attracted to someone. If you're really that concerned that you'll cheat on her or dump her for someone else, it might be better to let her go now.

[travelbug1996]

Find someone with the physical and non physical attributes that you seek. Hopefully they will find you as attractive in both ways:)

[Chris2016]

Why is it that some people just seem to "get it", seem to adapt, quickly?

 

I know of some couples:

- Both of the same attraction level (average to below average looking).

- Or, one spouse is more attractive than the other.

And they are together (some met in college) for many years, and married.

 

One couple, the lady admitted looks was not a priority for her.

 

Another couple, the lady was scared to chat/ask the guy out, but she did anyways, and the rest is history.

 

I met a lady. I liked her quirks and personality, which is what drew me. I thought she was cute. We dated a couple times. But I just could not or did not want to hold her hand.

 

Another time, I got a lady's number, but I couldn't even get a first date.

 

Is it just random luck? I kind of don't think it is.

[truthtripper]

If looks is all you're interested in, why not just get a pretty blow up sex doll? Problem solved.