Caring for you Partner when they are Sick - Food Poisoning in this case

[MidwestUSA]

Now that you mention it, they are the about the same height. I could have mistaken the two, but I am pretty sure I had the right number.

 

 

Ten characters.

[Els]

 

I remember like yesterday an event that happened about 15 years ago. I found a lump in my breast one night. I freaked out. My BF at the time was with me and while he tried to be supportive, he just wasn't getting what the "fuss" was about. I told him I would make a doctor's appointment in the morning and could he please come with me. He said he had to go to work and couldn't. Could I have walked out my apartment, taken the subway, and walked into the doctor's office by myself? Gone through the ultrasound and mammogram by myself? Sure I could and I did. But the issue was that I needed emotional support, someone to literally hold my hand and tell me I would be OK.

 

It really depends on the situation. If the OP had, say, unidentified masses in his bowel that could potentially be cancerous, had to go for a procedure to get them out for a biopsy, and his long term gf couldn't even be bothered to try and take time off work or cancel her plans to go with him... then yes, I would agree with you.

 

But if you had food poisoning that wasn't sufficiently severe to want to call an ambulance, then IMO no, it doesn't justify expecting your partner to ditch a friend (although that depends on how often the friend comes around) and drive 1.5 hours immediately just to see to you. However if your partner was already at home getting ready to go out with friends and you had a sudden onset of vomiting, then yes I would expect her to delay going out and make sure you were comfortable first. It all depends.

 

That's it. I'm definitely not needy _ it's just that sometimes we react with vulnerability to certain situations. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship for me _ I couldn't be with someone who had repeatedly shown a lack of sensitivity to and was dismissive of my feelings.

Where is it mentioned that the OP's partner has 'repeatedly shown a lack of sensitivity to and was dismissive of his feelings'?

[spideywoman]

It really depends on the situation. If the OP had, say, unidentified masses in his bowel that could potentially be cancerous, had to go for a procedure to get them out for a biopsy, and his long term gf couldn't even be bothered to try and take time off work or cancel her plans to go with him... then yes, I would agree with you.

 

But if you had food poisoning that wasn't sufficiently severe to want to call an ambulance, then IMO no, it doesn't justify expecting your partner to ditch a friend (although that depends on how often the friend comes around) and drive 1.5 hours immediately just to see to you. However if your partner was already at home getting ready to go out with friends and you had a sudden onset of vomiting, then yes I would expect her to delay going out and make sure you were comfortable first. It all depends.

 

Where is it mentioned that the OP's partner has 'repeatedly shown a lack of sensitivity to and was dismissive of his feelings'?

 

We can agree to disagree on how we would individually react in this situation and in any given situation, for that matter. You're your own person and act according to what you think is appropriate, I do the same. No argument there.

 

It's not mentioned anywhere that OP's partner had 'repeatedly shown a lack of sensitivity to and was dismissive of his feelings.' That was what I said following a particularly distressing episode for ME and following the realization that my BF at the time had exhibited those traits, or lack thereof. The aforementioned led to the beginning of the end of my relationship then. I also suggested OP talk to his GF about how her actions, or not in this case, made him feel and affected him. I can't imagine this is an isolated incident, given that he's posting here. Or perhaps it is. Who knows.

 

The OP asked "What would you have done, how do you react to your partner when they are sick or need to consoled or attended to?" That's what I answered, and additionally included a personal anecdote. isn't this what this forum is about, drawing from personal experience?

Edited November 16, 2016 by spideywoman