joemax Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Long story short, my girlfriend and I have been together for a few months now. She goes to school in a town 5 hours away, and I surprised her by paying for her train ticket to come home in a couple of weeks. Anyway, the weekend she'll be here her friends are going out for their joint birthday celebration, and I wasn't invited. She said that since none of my friends are going she figured I wouldn't want to go. I guess I'm upset by the fact that she didn't ask me to go with her, even though I know some of her friends. I don't know what to think of it, especially since I'm the one paying for her to come home. Don't know how to feel. She knows I'm upset, I told her, and has told me that she doesn't know what to do to fix it. Am I exaggerating? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Courtesy says that since you hosted her travel , that she in kind make a gesture of welcomeness to her plans. May I ask though, do you really want to attend this event or simply want her to be a bit more cordial in her manners of an invite? When I visited my long distance bf, ( he lived overseas), he got terribly upset that when I visited him ...that I wanted to visit some other friends that I had formed friendships with in his country. It took an hour long discussion for the light to come on that I hadn't invited him along. I was insensitive to his desire to be apart of the group. Once that was acknowledged , we moved on with amicable plans. He ended up meeting my friends and then going off to tour the city while I had a brief lunch with my friends. Everyone was content and that little burp was resolved 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 She is retarded. She thinks you're just helping her out with some bills. She doesn't get it. Never ever help this woman again. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joemax Posted November 15, 2016 Author Share Posted November 15, 2016 May I ask though, do you really want to attend this event or simply want her to be a bit more cordial in her manners of an invite? I do want to attend the birthday, mostly because I want to spend as much time with her as possible, yes, but also because I enjoy going out and socializing and having drinks with friends. Yes, they're not my best friends, but these are people I know. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't overreacting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 She thinks you're just helping her out with some bills. ^ This. She doesn't see it as a big deal like you do. In your mind you're buying it for her as a big present for you two as a couple, and especially so you two can spend time together. Whereas she sees it as a ticket home which she would have bought anyway. She is doing the things she would have done if she'd bought it herself. She doesn't realize that you want her to repay your financial input with her time. Buying a ticket is not like buying a diamond necklace or a huge bouquet of flowers... it's not a romantic gesture... it's mundane. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Buying a ticket is not like buying a diamond necklace or a huge bouquet of flowers... it's not a romantic gesture... it's mundane. It is totally romantic if your bf or gf does this when it is not expected....speak for yourself 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 I understand why you would be upset, especially given that you are in a LDR where time together is precious. Although with the caveat, are her friends all girls? It would be awkward for her to bring you if it's a girls' night thing and none of the other bfs are coming along. Also would be awkward for her to turn them down just because "my bf paid for my ticket". But if it's a mixed group, I think she should have at least asked you if you wanted to come. Buying a ticket is not like buying a diamond necklace or a huge bouquet of flowers... it's not a romantic gesture... it's mundane. I disagree - in a LDR, buying your partner a ticket (or even just buying yourself a ticket to go see her) is one of the most romantic gestures you could possibly make. Flowers and necklaces are lovely, but in an LDR being able to see each other more often than you'd anticipated is the best gift of all. Link to post Share on other sites
niji Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Buying a ticket is not like buying a diamond necklace or a huge bouquet of flowers... it's not a romantic gesture... it's mundane. Wow, really? I would much rather get tickets for a RTW trip (and much better if he buys his to go with me, too) than a diamond ring. Travels are important for me, diamonds aren't. Everyone has different tastes, and never forget YMMV Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 in an LDR being able to see each other more often than you'd anticipated is the best gift of all. Everyone has different tastes, and never forget YMMV speak for yourself Yeah YMMV indeed, and so may the OP's GF's, who is really the important one here. It seems the OP's GF agrees with me. She sees it as a mundane expenditure rather than a romantic gesture which is why she is going around doing the things she would have done if she'd bought the ticket herself, rather than spending time with the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Joemax, I think the problem here is that you're into her way more than she's into you. Your gesture has been wasted. Your hopes are unimportant to her, or at least way less important than her plans within her social circle. I usually don't agree with Popsicle but in your thread here I think she's nailed it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Joemax I think it's plain RUDE of your gf. Especially not inviting you. Does she call you her bf? Tbh it seems she's treating you like a door mat. Yes you are way more into her than she's into you. Heavens my LDR bf and I were going to get a motel room so we could both attend separate events for his Ds wedding then get back together asap. Instead of spending another hour apart. Are you guys exclusive? Follow your instincts on this and always Joemax. This g is using you badly. Good luck Lion Heart Link to post Share on other sites
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