I think I may have figured out my OLD situation

[LookAtThisPOst]

Considering that lying about one's age is a factor people are leary about when it comes to dating. I big no-no to a lot of people, and considering I am completely honest about my age.

 

One woman said something kind of revealing...maybe? Not sure if she is being hurtful or not, but it feels hurtful.

 

This woman who responded to me is 41, and I am 44. She asked me my age, still....and I answered her...and then asked her why did she ask since it was posted plain as day on the profile.

 

She said, A lot of people tend to lie about their age on her, and I am leary about that and I cannot trust those who lie."

 

She then said, "I honestly cannot believe there's only a 3 year age diff. between us."

 

I was dumbfounded when I heard this, kind of like when 40-something people mention how they still get carded for looking young, but to have the opposite look?

 

I tried to convince her otherwise, even mentioned that I do understand people do tend lie about their agent quite prominently, but apparently...she's thinking I am lying (Which I am not).

 

So it kind of makes me think when women see my profile, they think, 'Yep, laying about his age!" and next me. And then I thought, "Well, appear much older than she THINKS...so it's all moot because of appearance or she thinks I am lying?"

[MidwestUSA]

Well, the only thing I can take away from this is that you've actually gotten some honest feedback, in the form of an innocent comment.

 

So, how can you use that to better your chances? None of us can help how we age, hard as we may try.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Well, the only thing I can take away from this is that you've actually gotten some honest feedback, in the form of an innocent comment.

 

So, how can you use that to better your chances? None of us can help how we age, hard as we may try.

 

I got a follow-up from her. She had voiced her serious frustrations of online dating in general, including cat fishing and any numerous complaints we've heard about online dating on these boards.

 

She said, "Once I see something fishy, I'm out" so basically, she kind of threw the baby out with the bath water here by not believing me.

 

But, overall I thought online dating did make an impact on her to the point where she's gone to extremes of mistrust to the point where she's outright frustrated...that it's impacting her ability to even trust me.

 

I responded in kind that I know what she means that I've been feeling the challenge and frustrations, too and mentioned that she (even myself) may want to take a break from the site if that's the case.

 

After that, I disabled my account since our experiences quite mirrored each other. It was kind of like a bounce between the two of us. An infinite loop.

 

(I had noticed she's been on the site for a good long time and I'm thinking that the longer she's been on the site, the more it'll impact her hair trigger trust with men that contact her.

[MidwestUSA]

I'll agree, she sounds pretty jaded.

 

Sad that she wouldn't take your word as truth; she actually sounds like she carries a lot of the same issues as you, and she could have used the opportunity to talk it out, rant, whatever. I'm sorry that happened to you. Next.

[Shining One]

I know I've mentioned this in one of your threads before. People lie about filterable stats on OLD so they don't get filtered out. Men an women lie about age, men lie about height, and women lie about body type. If a profile gets filtered out, then it has 0% chance. If a profile gets viewed, it's a greater than 0% chance. Unfortunately, the high number of people lying about their stats will cause others to become jaded and untrusting, such as this woman.

 

I know OLD sites have started doing "verified" photos with a date attached. I wonder how long it will be until they start a premium service that will provide verification of the rest of the information in the profile.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I know I've mentioned this in one of your threads before. People lie about filterable stats on OLD so they don't get filtered out. Men an women lie about age, men lie about height, and women lie about body type. If a profile gets filtered out, then it has 0% chance. If a profile gets viewed, it's a greater than 0% chance. Unfortunately, the high number of people lying about their stats will cause others to become jaded and untrusting, such as this woman.

 

I know OLD sites have started doing "verified" photos with a date attached. I wonder how long it will be until they start a premium service that will provide verification of the rest of the information in the profile.

 

Really? There are sites that verify the photo's dates? Which ones? Just curious.

 

Just call me the Benjamin Button of online dating. lol

Edited November 15, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[Shining One]

Really? There are sites that verify the photo's dates? Which ones? Just curious.

I saw them on Match. They have the month and year on them. You need to get the photos taken by one of their associated photographers though.

[Herbalist]

Yeah jaded or not it was a rude thing for her to say to you. No different than like if a guy messaged her and said, "I don't believe you're actually curvy, I think your photos were taken at angles, a lot of women lie about not being fat." I mean it would basically be the same thing, just different details. Makes sense to be highly skeptical on OLD but no real point in messaging people just to pick an argument about how you think they look older, fatter, etc than they claim when you obviously have no intention of dating them anyway. Sounds like you had an encounter with a rude person, more so than any deeper meaning behind it.

[PegNosePete]

She then said, "I honestly cannot believe there's only a 3 year age diff. between us."

This sounds like what PUA call an "excrement test".

 

Response should have been a backhanded compliment such as: "Yeah I agree, you could easily pass for 40. Hard to believe there's only 3 years difference".

[elaine567]

One woman said something kind of revealing...maybe? Not sure if she is being hurtful or not, but it feels hurtful.

 

This woman who responded to me is 41, and I am 44. She asked me my age, still....and I answered her...and then asked her why did she ask since it was posted plain as day on the profile.

 

She then said, "I honestly cannot believe there's only a 3 year age diff. between us."

 

Instead of trying to figure out her intentions and psychological make up here, perhaps it is time to look in the mirror and decide if you do look "older" than your age or not.

If you are pitching at women around your own age and they think you are 50 or 50+ and lying, or that you look old-fashioned, "conservative", boring, and "ancient", then that needs addressing surely?

Time perhaps for a revamp of your style...

[LookAtThisPOst]

Instead of trying to figure out her intentions and psychological make up here, perhaps it is time to look in the mirror and decide if you do look "older" than your age or not.

If you are pitching at women around your own age and they think you are 50 or 50+ and lying, or that you look old-fashioned, "conservative", boring, and "ancient", then that needs addressing surely?

Time perhaps for a revamp of your style...

 

You'd think that may work, but there' no style or fashion that can fix my face, as my face is very narrow...and kind of geezer-like if I take a closer look in the mirror.

 

 

I actually do dress reasonably fashionable. I've known women to have boyfriends that dress like total slobs, and it irritates the hell out of them, but yet...they still are attracted *shrug* go figure.

 

However, of the women that rejected me, I had a good run of 3 or 4 dates this year that didn't care or notice how much older I looked.

 

An example, of improving my image, classic...most common one.

 

I had some people tell me, "Shave off all your hair! If you do that, your life will change and the women will flock to you." I keep it really short, not shaven.

 

But...shaving your head doesn't work for some men, depending on the shape of their head.

 

I actually got some fashion advice from a master stylist...she said shaving my head would not make it look any better (my luck right?) lol

 

So it's not like I'm NOT trying.

 

I was thinking it was my "go-to" solution for becoming a chick magnet, but the stylist put a damper on that.

 

If you are pitching at women around your own age and they think you are 50 or 50+ and lying, or that you look old-fashioned, "conservative", boring, and "ancient", then that needs addressing surely?

 

Just need to find a woman that doesn't take issue with this, I've met equally as boring women...well, boring to some...it's a matter of opinion. My last girlfriend was like this. She was built like Olive Oil, but cute. Hardly fashionably and dressed modestly, but cute enough for me to date.

Edited November 16, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[GemmaUK]

Maybe go for the ones who are not up in the fashion stakes and go for a very classic look?

 

I have a bit of a thing - your hairdresser (who you pay money to!!!) says no buzz cut.

Course they will say that! You must realise this!

They'd lose your custom! They would twig that very soon you can do this yourself!

 

I thought you were gonna try it several months back - try it - you have nothing to lose and it'll grow back in 2 months max.

[elaine567]

Do you have a beard?

The right shape of beard can look good with a shaved head.

If you get it right the narrowness of your face may not be at all noticeable.

Experiment maybe. As Gemma says hair does not take long to grow or be removed if you feel you are getting it wrong.

Some hairstyles can be very ageing.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Maybe go for the ones who are not up in the fashion stakes and go for a very classic look?

 

I have a bit of a thing - your hairdresser (who you pay money to!!!) says no buzz cut.

Course they will say that! You must realise this!

They'd lose your custom! They would twig that very soon you can do this yourself!

 

That's where you don't know what you're talking about. You just stepped on your foot, jumped the gun by making this post. She is not MY stylist, she is a friend that happens to be a stylist.

 

She's an expert in the field and I was asking her expert opinion.

 

At the very most, I keep it cut VERY short, which is close enough.

 

I get a kick out of how most people her say their own friends won't be honest with them. lol

 

Do you have a beard?

 

I got more of a goatee...not a long one, just mustache and short goatee. I cannot grow a full beard, already tried that...just grows sparsely.

Edited November 18, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[GemmaUK]

That's where you don't know what you're talking about. You just stepped on your foot, jumped the gun by making this post. She is not MY stylist, she is a friend that happens to be a stylist.

 

She's an expert in the field and I was asking her expert opinion.

 

She is in the business so would not want a decrease in custom whether you are her customer or not. I still know hairdressers who tell me get it cut and it will grow - OK..yeah..that never worked! Lol!

 

At the very most, I keep it cut VERY short, which is close enough.

Ah! OK, things have changed since I last saw you post about your hair - you had previously said you keep a fair bit - eg hair makes yor face shape look wider.

 

Sorry LATP,I can only go on what I recall you having said.

 

You say you are pretty trendy too - so all good.

 

Are all your pics up to date?

Is your profile that of a mid forty something? Or maybe long and a bit too serious?